Chapter 16 - Mari
1164 Words
My brother's comforting hug had been a bid to reassure me. Calm me. Help me. And, as much as I appreciated his attempts, I just wanted to be alone. The tears were not going to stop, no matter how many hugs I was given. The only embrace I wanted to feel, was now gone. An embrace I had never experienced, but one that I so desperately craved. I slid away from my brother and rushed to the solace of my room. Engulfed in silence I fell to my bed.
And there, I had lay, my mind filled with the very few visions I had of the man that should have been the man made for me. The man chosen for me by our moon goddess. A man snatched from me before we had a chance. No memories to share. A sad reminder of the way he was taken from me. And as I lay with thoughts of Rafe filling my mind I sobbed until my body ached. Until there was no more tears to cry. Crying for a man I did not physically know. Yet a man my soul was paired with. My other half. And now he was gone. Along with all of my hopes.
And, sadly, it seemed, my wolf too. As sobs wracked my body, the pained whimpers of my wolf lingered, but slowly faded. Faded to a deathly silence, leaving me feeling more alone than ever. I did not know how I would survive. I knew she had been weak, but I had hoped she may have been able to cling on for me. But her strength must have been shattered by losing our one hope. She was never going to be strong, she never could be when my father had been slipping me wolfsbane for as long as I can remember. Soon after I came of age. All so I was weaker. Unable to fight back. Unable to have the support and logic of a wolf. And, perhaps, I realised now, so I would be unable to find my fated.
I had heard the sheer disgust within his tone as he spoke of it. He was disgusted at the thought of me going to the Alpha when I had realised. But I did not know if that was because I had not come to him first. But how was I to come to him when he was so unapproachable? Had treated me so badly… I had never been able to speak to my father about anything of importance. I had friends for that. My brother… It was times like this that I wished my mother had still been here.
I quickly pushed that thought from my mind. I could not fall further into the blackhole of self-pity, because I knew the moment I began to question the loss of my mother I would feel even worse. It was a thought that passed through my mind so many times over the years, especially with how my father treated me. Unable to help but wonder if things would have been different if she had still been here...
I quickly shake my head. I cannot think of her. The thought of her breaks me too. It is hard not to blame myself for her no longer being here. I was saved and she was not. I need to focus. So, I quickly slid from my bed, knowing that I still had the household chores to complete before my Dad would return. That woul be enough of a distraction for my mind. For a short time at least. Dad would expect the chores to be done. Irrelevant of today's occurances, my father would return expecting the house to be like new. Grief would not be an excuse.
He went to work each and every day despite the pain of losing his mate. Had not even taken a day away because of it. Keeping busy was what kept him going, or so I am told. Yes, he was broken through losing my Mum, but he never allowed the grief to stop him, and I didn’t doubt he would expect me to do the same. Especially when I did not even have a developed mate bond like they did.
I rushed down the staircase to be hit with the scent of cleaning fluids. Confusion hitting me. Surely my Dad would not have cleaned up… though, my Dad had been asked to go to the Alpha… I sighed as I realised.
‘Leo?’ I linked.
‘Yep.’ My big brother replied without faltering. ‘Did I miss a bit?’ He suggested, a hint of amusement in his tone. Despite my pain, I could not help but smile. He had tried to help me by doing my chores. Chores I know he hated, and also chores my Dad always ensured he did not help with, threatening him with punishment if he so much as tried. But today he had done them regardless. He had known I was going to struggle, and had done them for me so I could grieve.
‘You know you will get in trouble if he knows?’ I reminded him.
‘He won’t know, don’t worry. And besides, I doubt he will be home until late, sounds like Alpha has a lot of things they need to go through.’
‘Oh?’ I am curious now. Obviously my brother is to be the next pack Beta, but in being so he was also close friends with the pack’s upcoming Alpha. So they were aware of most of the going-ons within pack. And these going-ons were regarding the loss of my fated mate. I wanted to know. I needed to have answers. While they would not bring back my mate, nor my chance at a future with him, they may give me reasons as to why it was all so cruelly snatched away...
‘There was no sign of rogues. Warriors checked the entire area after Dad left earlier.’ Leo’s tone was uncertain, like he did not know if he should tell me. But as his words register a cold child spread across my body. Everything he said made sense. Of course it did. But that was the reason they had given. A random rogue attack. Alpha Carter had been given that reason too, I believed. I had to admit that I was not surprised there were no sign of rogues; I mean we had not had issues with them in some time, but if that was the case then it could mean only one thing.
One thing that was so much worse. My heart ached at the realisation. The loss. Had he not been here, he would have been safe. But, then I would never have known he existed. My mind tried to process what this all had to mean. There was no sign of rogues. Rafe was killed within our pack. My pack. Likely by somebody within my pack. So, who? And why?
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