Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?

Chapter 12 - Mari

I had walked ahead of the visiting Alpha as we made our way through the hallways of the packhouse, excited at the prospect of the awaiting warriors. My insides had filled with anticipation as we approached the packhouse door. My wolf whimpered in eagerness. She was slowly becoming more present as the day proceeded and the effects of the wolfsbane I assumed my father regularly slipped me eased. I liked feeling her presence, as fleeting as it may be as it came and went again. But it was there and it was something. I think she, like me, was eager at the prospect of our senses being overtaken by the scent of our fated mate. The man to save us from the hell our lives had become.

He could be out there feeling the same way too. I had seen the look within those beautiful eyes of his. The look of urgency upon his handsome features as he had approached his Alpha. He had known. My whole body trembled but this time there was no fear involved. This was through sheer exhilaration. I had waited for this day, and it was finally here. My fated had come to take me home. Give me the life I needed. A life I deserved. Happiness. A place I could feel safe and wanted. Finally.

But as we stepped out into the fresh air there was no scent. My heart dropped. Perhaps he was yet to make his way back here. But, I was certain they had said the warriors were meeting us here, to allow the visiting pack members to return home. I felt my shoulders sag in disappointment, but chose to remain professional and let the Alpha know his men should be here any moment.

“Here you go.” I offered them a weak smile. I did not have the energy. My mind was on one person, and he was not here yet. Where could he be? Surely he should be looking for me too by now? “I think the warriors were being brought down to meet you. So they should be waiting for you.” I quickly added, the very thought of his warriors arriving filling me back up with anticipation. My mate could be with them. No, would be with them. Coming here to meet me… Claim me. Take me home. Take me away from here…

As my mind began to fill with thoughts of the first meeting my mate and I could have, and how wonderfully romantic it could be, my attention was distracted by the panicked sound of a man calling over to us. Or to the man in front of me as we stood on the steps of the packhouse, to be more specific. The tone in his voice frightened me. Something was wrong. “Alpha!”

Alpha Carter turned to look in the man’s direction. A man I could only assume was one of his many visiting warriors that had attended pack with him, speaking as bluntly as only this man could. “What's going on Joel?"

Yet the bluntness of his Alpha’s words seemed to do little to calm his warrior. His panicked voice continued as he explained. “One of the men has been killed.” Instantly a heaviness filled my chest, a sensation I did not like…

The darkness increased within Alpha Carter’s eyes as his focus upon his warrior intensified. “What? Why was I not notified?”

There was a hint of anger within this Alpha's tone, and understandably too. This was a loss of one of his men whilst visting another pack. He had every right to be notified. My body was trembling at the very thought that one of these visiting pack members could have died within our pack upon their visit. My Alpha had already angered Alpha Carter in his dishonesty, a death of their pack member would only be like adding fuel to the fire…

I did all I could to concentrate as my mind fogged over. I was meant to appointed to help these men... I even considered mindlinking my father to discover more details, but choosing against that, as the very thought of talking to him filled me with fear. So, I continued to listen into the conversation instead…

“We were out training. It was suggested we go on a run. See how good we were compared to their warriors, so I saw no harm in it. Only as we neared the borders one of our men was attacked. A rogue? One of their men? I don’t think I could say in truth, Alpha, but we lost him…” The poor warrior looked guilt-ridden…

“Why did you not call for us?" Alpha Carter‘s voice was slightly less blunt this time, but still equally as cold. He made a valid point. Why was Alpha Aaron not called for? This incident had happened within our pack…

"We were told you were busy and that the Beta could help.” My heart dropped at the mention of my father. Why was he involved? And that heaviness within my chest only increased as the warrior continued. “He dealt with it all. Was adamant he should, seeing it was his suggestion we go for the run. I am sorry, Alpha, they made us feel like we should not disturb you in the meeting. I did not want to ruin anything for you."

My father had suggested the run that had caused the death of this man? My wolf whimpred unexpectedly as her presence seemed to continue to flicker in and out, while her strength developed. A cold chill spread across my body. Yet a slight warmth appeared upon Alpha Carter’s face. A sympathetic look even.

"Who?” He asked his warrior in a warmer tone. Maybe he was capable of being kind? He certainly seemed approachable right now...

“Rafe.” But all thoughts of Alpha Carter being approachable were gone, as the warriors words hung in the air. Rafe. That name meant one thing. And my heart felt like it had shattered in that moment along with every one of my dreams. Rafe had been the name Alpha Carter had called my mate… I felt my legs crumbling beneath me as the realisation struck home that the one the moon goddess had chosen for me had been taken from me equally as fast as I had met him… It was over. My dreams were gone.

My head within my hands I fell to the floor. Tears filled my eyes as the seriousness of the situation hit me. The consequences of this whole mess striking home harder than I could have imagined. My fated mate had been my one guaranteed chance of getting away from here. Away from my pack. My life. My father. This hell. And now he was gone. It was all gone.

My wolf whimpered once more. A pained sound, as she seemed to disappear to the pits of my mind as quickly as she had appeared. Since my father had said I must behave whilst we had visitors in pack, meaning he was no longer dosing me with wolfsbane, my wolf was in and out like a radio losing signal. Now I needed her more than ever. What would this mean for us? Would she die? She was already weak... A wolf needed their fated mate. Without them they could weaken. What if the wolf was already weak through being drugged? Could she even recover? Fear filled every pore of my body along with the agony of my loss...

I felt a hand upon my shoulder, making me jump in shock. Startling me from my self-pitying thoughts. “Are you okay?” A deep voice asked, and I raised my gaze to find the eyes of the visiting Beta looking at me with confusion. “Did you know the warrior we lost?”

I realise me sitting upon the floor sobbing my heart out over a man I never met was going to look awfully strange to these visiting men. But they did not know the things my fated mate meant to me... But with the puzzled gaze of the Beta watching me, I had to steady my breathing as my sobs were deep. Pained sobs. I went to nod, and saw an understanding look pass through this man’s gaze before he returned my nod. “That was why he came to us earlier. He suggested softly.

The pain radiating though my body right now was over-whelming. The thought of never experiencing all the wonderful things described when meeting your fated mate was agonising. That first touch as the tingling, electric type sensation radiates through you bodies... The magic of that shared connection… knowing you were chosen for one another… and that deepened bond as you mark one another… I would experience none of that. That had all been lost in a moment when Rafe had been killed. Along with the prospect of him saving me. Being my hero...

How could he have been snatched from me so cruelly? Here in my own pack too... a rogue attack here on our pack made no sense. We had no issues with them that I was aware of. How? Why?

As my mind ran away with so many thoughts, I had seemingly lost the ability to talk, and simply looked up toward Beta Hudson with sadness. He seemed to know I was struggling. “Shit.” He mumbled. “That was why he wanted to talk to us. He wanted his mate…” I watched as the Beta ran his hand through his short hair in frustration.

“He came to ask to meet you formally. But followed orders when sent away. Yet, you never said anything. You could have spoken up.” He added with a sigh. “Damn, Mari. If you said something, he could have been here, spending time with you. You could have been returning to pack with him.”

A fresh flood of tears hit me at the Beta’s words. This was now my fault?! Was that what he was implying? How was I to ever know something like this was to happen? I mentioned it to my Alpha, hoping he may excuse me... And, I was going to say something but Alpha Carter’s bluntness toward me had been intimidating enough to make me aware I was best to remain quiet and do as ordered. And then hearing him send Rafe away so abruptly only made me think I was best to wait until after the meeting had finished, and we found a moment to be together. Only that moment never came.

Tears trickled down my face, as guilt and anguish flooded my body. The Beta offered me a hand, and as I glanced up, this time allowing my eyes to wander around I noticed that the Alpha and the remaining men had left. Likely to deal with the loss of one of their men. But I would have to remain here and forever deal with the loss of my fated mate, and the consequneces of that for the rest of my life…