The Hunger Games - Surviving The Storm - book 3

Chapter 11

I couldn't believe this was happening to me again. The people I tried my hardest to protect were taken from me and there was nothing I could do about it. I watched in the arena as strangers around me dropped dead left and right and hardly felt a thing. The day my brother died I was so focused on keeping my promise to my father about coming home and didn't have time to properly mourn his passing.

Slowly I passed through the grounds of the property seeing nothing but the grass that my feet stepped upon. I didn't bother looking up in fear that I may loose my focus and break down. I needed to stay strong atleast until I could hide in the graveyard behind my brothers grave.

I came to a stop at the wrought iron gate that outlined the cemetary and stared. I could pick out my brothers grave not because I had been there to its new home on the property but because it had CalliRose's blossoming around it. I felt a warm tear run down my cheek as I stared at the flowers. Whoever brought the grave over from District 12 brought the flowers as well, this small detail meant alot to me.

I looked down and stared at the fence, its old frame was inviting as I wanted more than ever to enter inside. I lifted my hand and carefully ran my long slender fingers along the cold metal and then dropped it to the clasp that held it closed. In a swift movement I opened the gate and then walked the ten feet to my brothers grave.

I stopped and stared and then I felt it, the water works making their way through my body. It was strong and overwhelming and this time I knew I had no control the tears dominated me and I fell to my knees before the grave and leaned my head against the cold stone that held the picture of my brother.

"River." I cried as I began shaking and bouncing around. "Oh goodness I'm so sorry, so so sorry."

I threw my head back and began sobbing louder and louder. I was positive that everyone inside could hear me but out of respect they probably left me alone to mourne. Sometime later in the day I finally stopped crying. From the small time piece on my wrist it was 2 o clock.

I laid in a fetal position at the head of my brothers grave stone in the bed of flowers. My eyes held the picture of him and never let go. The picture was mesmirizing as it was like a hologram or recording of some sort that flashed through every year he had lived. It started at birth then one year, two years, three years, then all the way to year 16. Everytime it looped around I couldn't help but release more tears.

Slowly I brought my hand up and caressed the picture with my fingers. If my brother River was here right now and he saw me upset he would tell me to sing. Singing was one of the few ways I was able to succesfully express myself and through my feelings I always came up with the most beautiful and emotional songs. Sing. I will sing for him.

I began humming gently to myself, just a random tune and then I thought it'd be nice to bring in some words from my heart.

"I miss you, miss you so bad" I sang weakly through my tears.

I continued humming some more and then continued

"I don't forget you, oh it's so sad

I hope you can hear me

I remember it clearly"

A few tears slipped down my cheek and glistened in the sunlight. Slowly I dropped my hand and pushed myself up in a sitting position as I sang my next words.

"The day you slipped away

Was the day I found it won't be the same, Oh"

I brought my hand up to my face and wiped it of the tear and residue from my nose before I turned my gaze to the ground were I began toying with the flowers.

"Now you are gone, now you are gone

There you go, there you go

Somewhere I can't bring you back

Now you are gone, now you are gone

There you go, there you go,

Somewhere you're not coming back...." I trailed off in my words and then just stared at his face.

Slowly I brought my hand up to his picture. In another moment a warm large hand overlapped mine and brought it down. I felt a small breeze and then felt Jackson's arms around me before he pulled me against his chest.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't protect her for you love." he whispered in my ear.

I slowly turned my body so I could see his face clearly. "In Panem no one is protected, no one is safe." I dropped my head to look at the bulge that was my stomach and rubbed it. "Not even our baby."