He Kissed Me Crazy

The Stairwell

What the hell was Kendell thinking?

Tucker stared down at the phone, his heart beating in his ears as he reread the message Kendell had sent Stephanie last night for the umpteenth time since he’d woken that morning.

You don’t ask a girl you barely know to come over to a rooftop with broken lights! That’s way too sketchy!

Tucker swallowed and, wincing, looked down again at the response his drunk self had given.

[Okay but only kissinghg]

Not unless the girl is a wasted guy without any f*cking sense.

Gritting his teeth, finally ready to finish this, he lifted his phone to cancel the hair-brained scheme before Kendell could get too—

Caesar: [It’s going to be chilly tonight, so be sure to wear something warm!]

Tucker jerked in surprise and then felt tingles of awareness slide up his spine.

Kendell had just written Stephanie again.

Why did it feel like Kendell knew that Tucker—Stephanie—was getting cold feet?

Tucker looked around the university café he was sitting in, almost feeling like Kendell was watching him now, which was ridiculous because, One: Kendell thought he was talking to Stephanie, and Two—no, just that first one did fine.

He started typing up his excuses again, determined.

[I’m sorry for agreeing last night, but I just want to forget everyth—

Tucker’s thumbs stopped. His chest had started to tighten, as if in rebellion of his written words. He shook himself and continued.

[I’m sorry for agreeing last night, but I just want to forget everything and mov—

Tucker paused again, sucking in an unsteady breath.

He moved his thumb over to the Backspace icon and slowly erased his message. And then put down his phone and put his head into his hands.

Fuuuuuuuccckkk. What is wrong with me?

---

This is literally the most stupid thing I’ve ever done in my life.

It was 7:10pm.

And he was staring at the door that would take him out to the rooftop.

Where he knew Kendell waited.

The distant sounds of costumed mischief reminded Tucker that it was Hallowe’en night and if he didn’t make a decision quickly, he could be caught there. Well, maybe not, because no one bothered to come up this way. The landlord had never fixed the lights on their apartment roof yet, so it was barely used, particularly on a cloudy night like tonight, and who in their right mind would be up here on Hallowe’en anyway, when they could be attending Hallowe’en parties instead?

Tucker had been invited to a few over the past several days, by other students or the university. That’s where he should probably be right now. That’s where Kendell should be too, taciturn that he was, he could use some more socializing.

But because of Tucker… they were both where they shouldn't be.

Tucker had purposely waited until Kendell left for the roof first, so that Tucker wouldn’t be caught changing into a woman’s outfit.

What he was wearing right now.

He was dressed in a long-sleeved dress of black silky material which he had not tried on before purchasing it, and now hugged him so tightly it was making him feel uncomfortably exposed. The long coat and black boots he had on should pass reasonably well for a woman’s in the dark, but in the light, unless Stephanie was a bodybuilder, there was no way he’d pass as a woman.

It was only his high-quality blonde wig and the bejewelled black mask he’d grabbed at the last minute that suggested he might be a woman at all. Thank goodness it was easy to find such things on Hallowe’en.

But… the more he stared at the door, the more he thought he should turn around now and make a break for it.

Tucker swallowed, staring at the door handle, feeling the tightening in his chest that had plagued him all day, the pounding heartbeat that wouldn’t let him rest.

He didn’t think it was because of the dress.

Ah, f*ck.

He reached for the handle.

Then jerked his hand away again.

Tucker’s mouth twisted with self-disgust.

I can’t believe I’m—

DING.

Tucker flinched as his phone chimed loudly in his pocket and, alarmed, he pulled it out and turned down the volume, before he saw the text message up on his screen display:

Caesar: [Are you coming? It’s getting chilly up here. And lonely…]

“Ah, f*ck,” he repeated in a whisper. F*ck, f*ck, f*ck, F*CK.

This was a really shitty thing to do to his best friend.

Yeah, no, I can’t do this. s**t.

Tucker ignored the protests of his body and quickly began texting Kendell back, grimacing as a lump filled his throat painfully as he wrote the words that he should have written well before now.

[I’m really sorry, you won’t see me again, bye forever]

Then he spun around and started heading back down the stairs. F*ck, I was out of my mind to do this.

Maybe four seconds later, the roof door slammed open behind him with a loud, echoing clang.

Tucker gasped and started racing down the stairs two to three steps at a time. Why the hell didn’t I text him AFTER I’d left? Shiiit!

“Wait, Stephanie!”

He heard Kendell call out behind him and, panicking, Tucker started barrelling down the stairs as fast as he could run, unbelievably grateful he hadn’t been crazy enough to wear high heels.

Fuuuuck, he can’t catch me! He’ll kill me!

When the stairs ended at a door before continuing down further, Tucker dared to stop to open the door and make his escape.

Unfortunately, Kendell was closer than he had thought.

Tucker had only pulled it open a couple of inches before Kendell’s two hands landed on either side of him and slammed it closed again, trapping him against the door and Kendell’s chest as the sound echoed around them.

“Wait, please wait,” Kendell gasped behind him, and Tucker cringed in shame at how desperate Kendell had been to catch the girl that wasn’t even real, his heart leaping into his throat. I’m the f*cking worst.

Knowing Kendell would turn him around at any moment—or notice his goddamn shoulder width—Tucker frantically tried to think up an excuse, anything to explain what he’d been doing, to get out of this situation that looked…really bad, to return to just being friends and leave all of this behind.

A prank. F*ck, that’s it. It was a prank initially, right? So, it was a prank again. Just like one of Kendell’s. The whole thing. Kendell couldn’t get angry if—

“I’m sorry for pushing you, Stephanie… I know that you’re shy and I tried to rush things,” Kendell said softly behind him, and Tucker stiffened, his cheeks heating at the compassion in his friend’s misguided voice. No, not shy, just missing some rather vital parts. Like a f*cking brain. “And I know… that you’re not even certain whether you should try this at all…” No, I’m very certain I shouldn’t try this at all. “But… I really hope you might… give us a chance anyway, at least for a little while,” Kendell’s voice lowered at the end, his voice too close to Tucker’s ear and sending those scary good tingles through him like always.

Tucker swallowed, his heart playing drums against his ribs, trying to keep calm but failing miserably.

Bloody hell.

He did want to kiss Kendell again; that’s why he had come. That's why he had acted the fool and dressed in this ridiculous outfit. Because some part of him that made no sense wanted to feel Kendell's lips on his again. It wasn't at all fair to Kendell, it could only end terribly, but his mind was quickly getting messed up again; he could feel the itch of desire spreading through him, from his chest and out to his fingertips, tendrils of excitement sliding up his spine and coiling around parts that had no business being excited right now.

Apparently, his insatiable curiosity was overriding his good sense. He needed to know if it had been as good as he remembered. Because his memory had knocked his socks off. Into tights.

Tucker’s hands fisted in his coat sleeves. But Kendell was talking to Stephanie right now, not mother-f*cking Tucker.

You moron. Tucker closed his eyes and clenched his teeth with regret, slowly shaking his head, trying to free himself from the fog of need suffocating him.

If he turned around now… Kendell wouldn’t want to f*cking kiss him. He’d want to beat his face in.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Tucker wished to damn that he’d never kissed him. He wished he didn’t know what Kendell’s kiss was like at all, what Kendell’s hands on him were like, what Kendell’s voice sounded like when he was sweeting on a girl, on him.

“No?” Kendell said behind him, and Tucker flinched at the disappointment in his friend’s voice.

F*ck, what have I done?

Tucker shook his head again, letting the wig move with his head movements. It was time to let Kendell know who he was truly dealing with and face the consequences.

It was just a prank after all. He’ll get angry and then forget it once he knows.

Only Tucker would wonder the what ifs.

Mouth twisting, gut clenching, Tucker turned around.

---

Kendell saw what Tucker was doing and quickly snapped his eyes closed.

Oh no you don’t!

He wasn’t ready to give up yet.

He knew what turning around like this meant. He could see it in the stiffness of Tucker's shoulders. Tucker was trying to end their charade.

But he wasn’t ready for it to end.

He needed Tucker to keep playing Stephanie; it had become all the more obvious today.

When he’d seen Tucker earlier that day, purposely putting on the Caesar outfit again just so he could see Tucker’s reaction, Tucker had mumbled his excuses and hurried to his room.

As he was, Tucker just avoided the issue entirely.

But, as Stephanie… it felt different.

Kendell knew Tucker had gotten scared just now and had run at the last second, but he'd gotten as far as the door.

And, much to Kendell’s amazement, Tucker was dressed as a girl again. From head to toe. Just to kiss Kendell again.

It was making Kendell giddy thinking about what that meant.

Tucker had been very close to accepting Kendell… Just one door’s length away.

Thank goodness Kendell had heard the chime of Tucker's phone going off through the door, or he might never have known.

Kendell felt Tucker’s stare now and his body grew hot, his cheeks reddening as he wondered if any of what he was feeling was written on his face. He hadn’t figured out what to do yet after he’d closed his eyes, but Tucker was silent, too, and that…

That made it hard to breathe.

Because there was still hope. And he was so damn nervous about ruining it.

They were still on the threshold between friends and something infinitely better, but it was teetering.

With just a word, Tucker could push them back into the friends’ zone, and yet Tucker hadn’t said anything yet. Kendell dared to hope that meant that Tucker wanted to continue, too, but didn’t know how to. And if that were true…

He felt his hands on the door tremble with his nervousness and quickly fisted them.

“Kiss me,” he whispered hoarsely.

Everything had changed when they’d kissed that night. He needed to try that again.

Tucker stiffened against his arms. But still, Tucker did not utter a word.

Kendell sucked in a quick breath, anticipation and hope whirling with the anxious doubt in his heart. “Kiss me, please,” he said again, more forcefully. Don’t leave me like this, not again. Stay looking at me.

He felt Tucker shift and he froze, not knowing what to expect, his heart leaping into his throat.

When he felt the sudden hot pressure of a hand covering his eyes, just like it had the night of the party, Kendell sucked in another breath, his body thrumming from head to toe in response, and before he could stop it, he swelled to a full, rigid state that he knew was not hidden by his costume. He swallowed, sincerely hoping Tucker wouldn’t notice, but he was too dizzy with anticipation to care for long.

“K-Kiss m—”

Tucker’s lips pressed against his, softly, lightly, cutting his plea off. A hesitant kiss that was testing the waters, gentle, unsure… and so sweet. It made Kendell lose all control.

Pleasure roared through him, and he stifled a cry of elation in his throat as he dropped his arms from the door and enfolded them around Tucker, pulling him tightly against him as Kendell deepened their kiss.

He heard a sound in Tucker’s throat, part protest and part gasp, and Kendell quickly slanted his mouth, letting everything he had ever learned take hold of him, wanting his kiss to be so intoxicating that Tucker could never forget it again. He opened his lips over Tucker’s, boldly sliding his tongue along Tucker’s full bottom lip, before pushing through Tucker's lips as they opened under his, tasting toothpaste and Tucker, and delighting as the protest quickly turned to a choked groan. Letting that groan warm him as he pulled Tucker closer still, Kendell gently sucked on Tucker’s lower lip, and when Tucker groaned again, thrusted his tongue back into Tucker’s mouth, sliding it urgently along Tucker’s own tongue, and thrilling at the feeling of Tucker’s hands coming up his back to grab his costume and hold on.

Oh, hell, yes, Tucker, taste me, know me. Want me.

But kissing was quickly not enough. Kendell was filled to bursting with the need to leave his mark on Tucker everywhere.

He spread his hands over Tucker’s back, his fingers searching for the muscles he’d admired for so long, but the coat was too bulky, too obscuring, so he quickly moved his hands to the front and slid down the zipper with ease. When his hands snuck in to slide across Tucker’s chest, clothed in some thin fabric Kendell instantly adored because it left little to the imagination, Tucker gasped and grabbed one of Kendell’s wrists, his other hand still firmly planted over Kendell’s eyes.

“W—” Tucker started against Kendell’s mouth, but then cut himself off, probably to keep his voice hidden. But Kendell didn’t wait to listen; he immediately slid his unrestricted hand over to squeeze Tucker’s pectoral muscle, relishing Tucker’s startled sound against his lips. But Kendell didn’t stop there, letting his fingers fan to find the hard nub that had made Tucker crazy last time, and started rolling it between two fingers and squeezing it.

Tucker cried out beautifully, his spine arching, and Kendell happily muffled it against his mouth as his fingers continued their work.

He felt Tucker’s hand over his eyes jerk down to capture the wrist of the hand playing with him and pull Kendell’s hands out of Tucker’s coat.

But that gave Kendell little pause, too drunk with desire and disbelief that he could touch Tucker this way to think beyond the right now, and the sounds of Tucker's desperate gasps in his ears only spurred him on.