I Love My Husband But....

Chapter 21

* After they are both done eating their cake and snacks, (Luci shared with him and he actually ate from her dirty little fingers) we go to the park to let her play, and to watch the teens play. 

"Why don't you get out there and show them how to play,?" "I don't want to make them look bad in front of 'the cheerleaders,' as you call them," I smile and shake my head. "Yeah, you'll have all the girls crushing," "Forget the girls crushing, they wouldn't be able to keep up with me," I smile and roll my eyes. "So you wouldn't like the thought of a those young ladies admiring you?" "I like women, with something to grab on to," he says as he look intensely into my eyes, causing me to blush and wet my panties. 

"I'm sure you have many women beating down your door" I say after I clear my throat and pretend to dust imaginary dirt off of my legs. "I wouldn't know, I'm not looking," He says as he looks at my legs. "Do you enjoy being a bachelor?" "I'm waiting for the right person," "I wish I would have done that too a couple of times" He smiles and lays back in the grass. 

"The ants are going to eat you up" "I'll be fine, you'll watch out for me won't you babe?" "Jess!" "I meant Jess," "You're fine" I say as I turn around and avoid his eyes like I usually do when he says something that causes me to feel. (Whether it's uncomfortable, bottled up emotions, or wet between my legs) 

"Are you sur-," "Oh my gosh, I'm sorry!" "Luci, you can only play like that with your brother," I say as I reach for her to get her off of Willis. He laughs as he lifts her up causing her to squeal and giggle. "He had her watching old wrestling reruns, now she wants to body slam everyone," "It's fine if I can't take the weight of a toddler can I really call myself a man?" "I guess I could, but it wouldn't be true," he says as he makes a muscle. 

"I don't know, Luci isn't just any old toddler, I'm sure she could take you," I laugh as she growls and so does he. "Are you princess Tigress?" "Yes, I'm a tider," (Yes I'm a tiger) she says as she makes her ferocious face. (Well she feels ferocious and she looks it too)

"See I told you to stop teaching your sister those moves, she beat up Willis," I say to Xane when he and Jace come over for something to drink. "This morning she jumped on my back and started pulling my hair," says Jace as he rubs his head. 

"I'm sorry guys, I have her watching princess movies to teach her to be more girlie," "I also have one of my nieces that love to dance to teach her ballet" "It's good that she's like this," "You won't have to worry about boys, she'll beat them up if they try to break her heart," laughs Willis. "That was my plan," says Xane also laughing. "My baby won't ever get a date, the boys will be afraid of her," I say as I grab her. "Also my plan," he says as he gives Jace a high five then he high fives Willis.

"Xane I'm appalled,'' I say surprised. "I cannot believe you are sabotaging your sisters dating life, before she is even old enough to know what dating is," "Hey, I have to protect her," "Shame, shame" I say as I squint my eyes and shake my head. "Shame, shame" "Fine, I'll stop," "You can protect her, just don't go overboard with it," says Willis and we all agree with him.

While the kids load up in the car, we make plans to meet up in a day or two. He wants me to do the breathing technique that he taught me at home each day. (I can't believe I have my own therapist) I wonder if he'll try to charge me later.

As soon as I get home I hurry up and get something out of the freezer, because I, was into such a hurry to see Willis that I forgot to take something out. I decide to make one of his favorite dishes that his mom makes but I decide to spruce it up a little to make it my own.

"I made your favorite," I sing as I hand him his plate. "What is this,?" "You know, I made it for you last time and you liked it," "It's what your mom always makes when she comes" "My mom only puts sour cream," "She has never added cheese," "Well I thought you'd like a little bit of a change, and I, am your wife not your mother," I say a little offended by the way he's looking at his plate.

 "I know you're not my mother, you don't even come close," he says as he puts the plate on the counter. "You know what, I don't care anymore?!" I yell as I turn and walk out the door. I don't know if he meant as a cook or as a wife and I don't even bother to ask because I'm afraid of the answer. I don't even know if he'll try it.

The difference between me and him is that I don't tell him something if it might upset him. Even though, I know he doesn't care about offending me. There are so many things about him that irk me that have nothing to do with s*x, but, I would never tell him because I want to spare his feelings.  

I sit on the porch and I wait for him to come outside after me to see if I'm okay, but honestly I'm not surprised when he doesn't. I know he loves me he just doesn't know how to show it. Sometimes it feels as if I try so hard to get him to love me, but it doesn't seem like enough. I know that he loves his mom more than he loves me, (He never corrected me when I told him that I felt like he loved her more) but between her and his grandma they were all that he had as a child. I can understand their bond but it still hurts to come second or third when he has always been my first. I only hope that he loves our children more, or at least Luci. 

When I can't cry anymore, I go inside and I lay on the couch. I'm not mad I just don't want to wake Luci. I am so proud of her, she is learning to sleep on her own without much work. We turn off the lights and she's out. That's how Xane was as a baby and a toddler. It was never hard to put him to sleep or to potty train him, he was and still is my sweet baby.