I Love My Husband But....

Chapter 10

*  A couple of weeks had passed and some days we would see Willis at the park or the grocery store. Other times I would find myself looking for him when he wasn't. What? (It's nice to have an adult to talk to, and his looks are a plus) I am finally able to look him in the eyes without blushing. (Well at least not as much as before) 

I was in the kitchen putting away the rest of the food. And as I do, I hear a commotion in the living room causing me to almost drop a bowl. I hurry into the living room carrying the bowl. "What the heck is going on here?!" I ask not liking the look my husband has on his face. I also dislike the look on my sons face. No matter how much my son and my husband seemed to be growing apart, I never thought they'd argue or fight. (At least I hoped they wouldn't) 

I have had lots of talks with him but he continues to complain about Xane, which annoys me, because yes he can be a bit lazy, but aren't all teens? "He's yelling at me telling me to change Luci, but I'm still eating," "He can take a break!" says my husband. "You always tell me to go in the room to change her when she poops, but you think I can change her and still have an appetite to eat,?" "Don't talk back to me!" "Xane sweetie, I'll talk to him" I say as I pat his back. 

I hand him the bowl and I send him to the kitchen table to finish eating, so that, I can talk with his dad. I know that he gets angry when I take up for Xane, but I never raise my voice. I just remind him 'again' of all of the things that Xane does. The main thing being helping with his sister, and, I know he gets annoyed sometimes no matter how much patient he is. His bathroom is also pretty clean most of the time. (I still wouldn't use it, but it looks decent and it doesn't smell like urine) 

This is the only other problem besides, the s*x thing that we have. I know that there are many couples having the same problem, with deciding the best way to discipline their children. I wish I could get some advice, because some people are just natural at this thing. I want to make them both happy but I know that's not possible. 

After I've calmed my husband, I go to my son's room to talk with him. At first he doesn't say anything, then I poke at his cheek causing him to laugh. (This kid is a lot like me) We never stay mad for too long. I hug him and he hugs me back. 

"Do you want to talk at the park" I say when he doesn't open up enough. He smiles and nods, so I leave Luci with my husband. (Despite his disapproving frown and her pouting) I told her that we would bring her back some ice cream.

We walk over to a tree so that if any of his friends are around they wont see him if he gets a little teary. He does cry when he's emotional, but, I expect him to hold them in if he does feel tears coming. (The question is can I?)

 "Why does he hate me,?" he asks surprising me. "Your dad doesn't hate you Xane," "He just doesn't really know how to parent," I say as I wrap my arm around him to comfort him, even though, he isn't crying. He actually seems fine. (Well I'm not)

 "Can I go stay with my dad for a couple of weeks?" he has never asked to spend time with his dad, so I, know this is serious. "Luci and I would miss you and you would miss us," "And... you would miss your dad too," He doesn't say anything, which is killing me inside.

"You guys are just butting heads because you have too much testosterone and all those manly hormones," I joke, while secretly dreading the thought of him going to visit his dad. I know he can take care of himself but he has always been with me. He has been to many sleepovers but nothing ever too long. (What if he likes it?)

He gives me a small smile, but avoids my eyes. "I guess you can, but, you have to wait until the end of the school year" I say as I pull back from our hug and put my hand on his shoulder. "Aw man," he says as he kicks up rocks. "I'm a woman not a man," I say in a deep voice causing him to laugh. (Which was what I was trying to do) 

I give him another hug, then he, asks to go join his friends. I say yes because I want him to forget about going to see his dad. I also know that his friends will take his mind off of things for a little while. I need to think this out as well. (How am I going to fix this?)

Maybe we can just pretend nothing happened. Xane is getting older anyways and sometimes I feel like he is more mature than my husband. I usually tell people that I have three kids, my husband being the oldest. It was funny at first, but it gets a bit annoying at times. (He's either really cute or really annoying) I guess it also depends on how I'm feeling that day.

(I hate seeing him like this) I think to myself as I sit on a bench on the walking trail. I tear up as I remember his words. I can't believe he thinks that his dad doesn't love him. I can't believe he didn't tell me. He tells me everything. (At least he did)

 "Are you okay,?" I wipe away my tears and I turn away embarrassed, as he, sits down next to me. I jump a little when he touches my back. "I'm fine" "I'm not crying for me, it's for someone else" He rubs my back, causing me to forget about my tears or anything. I feel so uncomfortable, but, how do I tell him to get lost without seeming like a b***h, since, he's trying to console me. 

"Everything is going to be okay, just let it out," I don't know why, but after he said this my eyes get bombarded with tears. He carefully moves towards me and he hugs me tightly as I sob. (Why am I crying?) I guess it hurts to know that Xane kept this from me. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks after a while. I take a deep breath. Well, I guess he is my 'friend' and I can't tell my husband that his son doubts his love for him. (At least not now) "My son is resenting his dad" "Well not resenting, but, they are going through some things and I don't know how to fix this," He smiles and grabs one of my hands. 

"You will find a way, just take a good breath and it will come to you," "Don't stress yourself out," "I may not have children, but, I do know that mothers are magical," "They get things done, like no one else," he says surprising me. I smile and thank him then I pull away a little to wipe away escaped tears. (And also because it's a little awkward, being close to another man)