Red Dawn - Book 6

Chapter 9

I was too afraid to look down. I knew I was pregnant but I couldn't accept that. I wasn't ready to accept that. All those weeks I begged Nic and told him that I was ready was a lie. I couldn't do this. I mean, I hadn't even lived more than two years in this world and now I was going to be a mother. Any normal human being would be on their way out of diapers right now, not preparing to change them.

What was I going to do? I wanted, more than anything to be a mother but for all the wrong reasons. I wanted to make Nic happy, give him what he wanted more than anything. A family.

But here I was, barely able to take care of my own self, and now I was going to be responsible for another being.

"I can't do this!" I gasped as I turned away from the shower and strode from the bathroom, back to the bedroom.

"Renesmee?" Nic called as he chased after me.

He grabbed hold of my hand. "Renesmee, please, stop." He sounded anxious.

"Nic, please." I pulled my hand from his grip and went to get dressed.

"Renesmee, what are you doing?" he asked as he followed me into the next room.

"I gotta go home. I need my parents."

"You need me. I am your husband now, you can't just toss me aside and run back to your parents. We stay together."

"Nic..."

"If you want your parents, then we will go to them. But you and I stay together. I will not allow my pregnant, emotionally distraught wife to run off and jump on a plane to fly almost ten thousand miles, by herself."

He moved towards me, his hands outstretched. I stared at him, at his hands, and I knew. I knew, even if my parents were there for me I would never feel as secure as I did when I was in his arms. This security was different, it reached all the way into my heart and touched my soul in an entirely new way. A way I never knew was impossible.

"I'm going to go and check airline tickets." He said before leaving the bathroom.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. This was it, this was happening. We were going to fly home and then I would be doing the exact same thing my mother did while she was pregnant with me.

But things couldn't be the same. My mother and I were different. She was human. I'm not. My eyes snapped open. I couldn't just give up on my and Nic's Honeymoon. Not when we didn't know if I was in danger.

"Nic!" I called as I grabbed my robe and left the bathroom.

I went into the office and I found him comparing several first-class flights to Washington. I moved his hand off the computer mouse and clicked out of the sight - gaining a look of confusion from Nic.

"Renesmee?"

"We aren't going home." I snapped.

"What? Why? You could-"

"Nic, look-" I held up my hands, "-going home..." I paused as I did my best to find the proper words to express what I had on my mind. "I had a thought. What if we had Carlisle and my parents come to us. Instead of ending our honeymoon I want us to continue it. Nothing has to change."

"Renesmee, think about what you are saying. The risks..."

"Carlisle will be here and he will be observing me the entire time."

I could see the plan formulating in his mind. He was definitely considering it.

"Well then, we need to send for them right away. As we speak, your life could more than likely be in grave danger."

I placed my hand on his chest and smiled sweetly. "Babe, I'm half mortal. I can't die unless I'm torn apart and lit on fire. Other than that I just get reborn."

"Unless you get bitten." He mumbled, disheartedly.

"True. But, Nic. I've come to realize that my fear is irrational. I can't die the way my mother could have while she was carrying me."

"Did you just realize this now? Did you have an epiphany or experience a sudden life changing catharsis?"

I looked slowly around the room before giving my attention back to Nic. He was still waiting for my reply. I gave a curt nod and smiled.

"I... think I've known this for a while. I was just afraid so my mind surpressed it."

He turned back towards the computer screen and clicked on the Skype icon. After a few minutes my parents were looking back at me.

"We were beginning to worry, Renesmee. I mean, Alice would've seen if anything went wrong. But, it's been almost two months since we've heard from you." My mother spoke.

"How are you?" My father pressed. I could see how worried he was even though it was apparent he was doing so much to hide it from his expression.

I looked at Nic and he looked at me.

"Renesmee?" My father said.

I felt my face blush. "Uhm," Nic took my hand into his. "We are expecting, mom... dad." I bit my lip after the words left my mouth.

I looked back and forth between my parents, waiting for their response. It felt like an eternity before my parents broke into large grins.

"When did you find out?" It was my grandfather Carlisle that came into the picture now. His voice held an air of importance to it and I knew why. He was worried about me and my health now that I was pregnant.

Things weren't as bad as they were for my mother because I was half immortal. But because my unborn childs father wasn't a human, but half immortal just like myself - this made things still a little dangerous for myself.

Our child was going to be half and half just like Nic and I.

"About thirty minutes ago." Nic replied.

"Can I see your stomach, please, Renesmee?"

I pulled aside the robe, making sure to reveal only my stomach. I turned right, turned left and then centered again. When Carlisle said I could close my robe I did so and took a seat.

"You look to be progressing slower than your mother, which is indeed a good thing. I think your pregnancy might be twice as long, I say 4 months until your due date. So that is putting you around 4 1/2 months gestation."

"So, I'm 4 1/2 months... pregnant?" I brought my hands to my stomach and looked down.

The more I thought about this, the more I wanted to be a mother. I wanted to protect this child growing inside me and I wanted to watch them grow up in a happy setting. I knew that I didn't have to fear the reprecussions of the Volturi because they were now gone. Our son, or daughter would have a great life. A happy life.

Then it hit me. The other reason as to why I was afraid to have a family. The Volturi. Since I was barely two months old the Volturi were a problem. They instilled fear in my life. And even after they had left the clearing that first time I knew, that one day, they would return. And they did. No matter how many times they left, they still returned.

I feared the simple idea of being happy because for as long as I could remember, the happiness always ended with a death. I guess that as long as I felt miserable I would be safe. But that wasn't true. It didn't matter whether I was happy or miserable, the Volturi always showed their faces.

Until my coven succeeded in putting an end to them.

But that was in the past. I was with child, my husbands child. The Volturi were gone. I could see me and Nic chasing after a little girl that looked like him in every way. Picking daisies in a field and making crowns out of them. Me braiding her hair, laying in the grass staring up at the sky and finding shapes in the clouds.

"My baby." I cooed as I began rubbing my stomach.

"Renesmee, I want you to keep me updated on your pregnancy progression. I don't want to bombard your Honeymoon so I want you to skype us once a week so I can see how you are doing." Carlisle said to me.

"What if something happens?" Nic said.

"If you start to get sick or weak you will call us and we will charter a private jet out there." My father said matter-of-factly.

"I will daddy." I said in a small voice.

"Congratulations, Renesmee." Esme grinned as she popped into the scene.

I beamed, waving my hand. "Hi Nana."

"Nana? When did you decide to start calling me Nana, Ness?" She teased.

"You look too young to be called Grandma and Nana just seemed... youthful, like you."

"Aww, sweetheart. Do you think you can come up with a cool name in place of great grandma by the time my great grandbaby arrives?" She winked.

"I think that is possible." I grinned.

My grandmother, Esme, and myself talked back and forth for almost twenty minutes. We discussed everything, from baby names to the types of things I shouldn't do.

"So, Renesmee, good diet, no pushing yourself, no stress, make sure you get an adequate amount of sleep and if anything feels off or your start to get really weak you need to call me."

"Why don't you just have Alice look out on me. What if something happens that I don't know about..."

"Alice can only see your future when it is more of a human experience. For instance, that day when you were bullied at school. She was able to see that. When its more of a supernatural experience, because you are a hybrid, it is near impossible for her to see it."

"So, because I am carrying a hybrid baby she can't see me." I stated.

Carlisle nodded his head. "Because you are a hybrid, the majority of the time she can't see you."

"If Nic were a human or a full vampire and you were carrying his offspring Alice's chance of being able to see you would increase. But only because you would be carrying a child that was closer to being either or. She can only see humans because she once was one and vampires because she is one. In between, she is blind." My father said.

Me and my family talked for another half an hour before we said our goodbyes and signed off.

"So, it looks like we will be staying for the remainder of our honeymoon." Nic said.

I turned around to face him. "Does this mean we have to stay here for the rest of the honeymoon?" I crossed my arms.

"It would be ideal. But, I think it would be nice to continue on with the plan. By the time the baby is born our honeymoon will have been over, two months prior. The only problem I can possibly forsee would be motion sickness causing you trouble."

"Okay, well, how about we stay here for another week and then we hop on the S.S. Cromwell and continue on our honeymoon."

He tilted his head to the side. "We need to push ahead of this storm."

I leaned in to kiss Nic. "We will be fine. If we see any sign of a storm, we can just push back and wait for it to get ahead."

It was decided that we were going to wait another week before we pulled up anchor and set sail. Until then, we were going to stay here and bond. Make love, swim, watch movies, reach books, take pictures, and make memories.