Phoenix

Chapter 8

I didn't really see Jackson for the rest of the day after that. He was surrounded by people and Jewl never really left his side. Jackson had made a few attempts to get away from them, but it didn't work out. I definitely wasn't going to try to step in between them, I had no place to.

So instead, I just kept to myself as usual to avoid any trouble. It's not like Jackson was in any trouble, everyone likes him. Except Blythe... But he hasn't done anything to him as far as I know of. Honestly, I think Jackson could probably beat Blythe if they fought, but I don't ever want to see that tested.

I sat in my usual seat on the bus and pulled out my laptop, looking over the homework that I have to finish by Monday. Sure, that's a lot of time, no big deal, right? Well, it wouldn't be if I actually understood the material. I don't understand how anyone can understand this stuff. High school is much harder than I anticipated.

I sighed and slouched back in the seat, staring at the screen trying to remember what the heck a hypotenuse is. Something about a triangle? Who comes up with these names anyway? They're too hard to memorize.

"Having some trouble there?" Someone asked as they placed themselves down in the seat beside me. I froze for a moment before remembering this morning that Jackson had asked if he could make this his permanent seat. Was that a good idea? Jewl and Blythe had told me to stay away from him, but with our schedule, that seems almost impossible.

"Maybe," I said quietly. I could have lied and said that I wasn't having any trouble so he would stop talking to me. Thing is, I wanted him to talk to me.

He leaned in closer to get a better view of my screen, but I stayed where I was, not daring to move a single muscle. Jackson hummed in thought for a moment before he chuckled.

"Do you even pay attention in class?" He asked. Truthfully, I tried to pay attention in class, I just couldn't.

"I try," I blushed in embarrassment. Usually, I don't care about my grades too much, I don't know what my future is going to be like and I would rather not think about it. I have average grades and I'm satisfied with that.

"I can lend you some notes if you want, maybe that will help," Jackson said and I looked at him with confusion. I don't think I've ever heard of someone like him taking notes in class. Not trying to be stereotypical... But it's true. I guess he has brain and brawn.

"Um, sure..." I manage to answer and he pulled out his smartphone from the back pocket of his jeans.

"Can I get your number so I can send them to you that way? I don't like using email," He said. Which I thought was reasonable so I decided to pull out my phone as well. It's just for notes, nothing more, so it should be harmless.

I tried to keep my calm on the outside while he took my phone and put his number in. Inside though, I was freaking out. This is my second contact in my phone other than my mother's. This is such an accomplishment for myself.

Then again, the other part of me was thinking how bad this could turn out. What if Blythe found out and took it the wrong way? I was supposed to be staying away from Jackson, but here I am, exchanging numbers with him. Sometimes not even I think I'm the brightest person. This is just for school though, so there shouldn't be a problem.

The phone that I handed Jackson was back in my hand again without me even realizing. I was overthinking again. I peeked up at the boy sitting beside me and he smiled at me.

I smiled back, unable to resist his charm. "Thank you," I said gratefully and he nodded.

"No problem, I'll text you them when I get home," He said and turned his attention to his phone. I assumed he was busy talking to someone and I didn't really know what else to say. So I turned my attention out the window, watching the several pine trees pass by with the few trees that had changed color due to the weather.

The bus stopped a few times and several people got off. I watched the number of heads dwindle down till there were only a handful left. Jackson was still beside me, but he never looked up from his phone. I looked back out the window again until the bus stopped at a house off of a gravel road similar to mine.

The spot beside me felt empty and I realized Jackson had gotten up.

"This is my stop, I'll see ya later, Nix," He said and made his way off of the bus, I gave him a small wave and said a quiet bye as I watched him disappear from my sight.

So he doesn't live too far from me. That is both exciting and terrifying.

~~

I walked inside the front door and felt the familiar warmth of my home. I sighed in relief, happy to know that I would be able to relax here all weekend. I slid off my coat and hung it on the coat rack before making my way up the wooden stairs, up to my bedroom.

When I entered the room, my mom was standing at the foot of my bed with a laundry basket beside her feet. In her h,ands she was holding my dad's shirt. She just stared at it, until she realized that I had entered the room and her attention turned toward me.

"Why do you still have this?" My mother asked. She stared at me with pursed lips and narrowed eyes. She was clearly upset, but I don't understand why. I know she hates my father, but he is my father. I don't know hardly anything about him since my mom never wants to talk about him. I never got to meet him, so I want to have at least one think of his that made me feel some kind of connection to him.

"I um... I wanted to have something of Dad's," I said quietly, afraid she would get upset if I lied even though I already knew she was upset.

"Phoenix, you how I feel about your dad. Why would you keep his things anyway?" My mother said, keeping her words short and curt.

"What about how I feel about my dad?" I asked, keeping my voice just barely above a whisper.

"You don't know how to feel about your father," She snapped and my chest ached, but not from a physical wound this time. She was right, I don't know how to feel about my father because I've never met him. How could I know? "Phoenix, you know I do everything for your own good. It's a good thing you never knew him, he's disgusting and I never want to ever see him again. You either, you're better off not knowing."

My mother wadded up the shirt and stormed out of the room, leaving the basket of clothes behind. I stood there, not doing anything. I could have fought for it, but what difference would that have made? I just would have made her angry and it's not like I was finding anything new about my dad by keeping his clothes.

I stared down at the ground, my vision becoming slightly blurred by the tears that started stinging my eyes. I was mad at myself for pushing her and I was also upset at her for not telling me. She could at least give me a chance to understand by explaining it to me. I'm not a child anymore.

What could my father have done that was so horrible?

Not only do I not know anything about him, I know nothing about myself either. My mother is human, she doesn't know anything about the supernatural world and that's why she's always so afraid for me. I understand her concern, but I need some questions answered. Not only about my father, but about myself. I know nothing.

I don't even know if there is a supernatural world, what if I'm the only one other than my father? My mother claims to know nothing and I've never heard anything about people like me except in books and movies, and not even those are completely accurate to me.

I just wish I had answers other than it's better that I don't know. I want to know; I need to know.

But I'll never know and I know that, so I try not to think about it most of the time. It's hard not to, though. Who in their right mind wouldn't be curious about the father they never met and the strange abilities they can't explain?

I couldn't go looking for him either, my mother would be furious and she's all I have, all I know...