Chapter 4
“Hindi ko maintindihan... What do you mean I saved her? What happened?” I asked. Because of the thought that I didn’t kill my mother, I feel my powers calming down. I feel the waves subsiding, as if they’ve finally been tamed. But I was still unstable and anytime, I can go out of control. I was hanging by a thread.
“Maybe you should start asking the right questions, Zendaya. For example, like why you can’t remember what happened when you were four years old.” Aniya. What she said made sense, and I couldn’t help but be more intrigued. “You named the consciousness of your magic.”
“Genesis.” I whispered.
“Yes, Genesis. You named the consciousness of your magic as Genesis... Why did you never ask her? When you awakened, she has also awakened inside you.”
Mas lalo na akong naguluhan dahil sa sinabi ni Margaux.
“Genesis knows.” I said as I was lost in my thoughts. Nanlaki ang aking mga mata at nakita ko naman ang bahagyang pagtango ni Margaux, “bakit niya tinago sa akin ang katotohanan?”
“Because you witnessed a tragedy that can permanently traumatize you... And being traumatized is not good for someone who wields creation magic. So, Genesis erased your memories of that tragic event. A traumatized mind is like a corrupted mind. You were bound to lose control if you remembered, Genesis saved you after you saved your mother.”
“So, what happened?” I asked. “I know you know everything because like you said, all this time, you’ve been watching me. Please, Margaux, I need to know.” I pleaded.
“When you were four years old, you witnessed your mother be r***d and assassinated by hired mercenaries. You were hiding in a closet, you watched them torture your mother as she helplessly pleaded for help. There were four of them. You closed your eyes and heard her scream in agony. You couldn’t take it anymore, then you suddenly awakened your creation magic. You weren’t thinking right—you looked at the killers with anger, and you just wanted them to be gone... So, they vanished without a trace. And you ran to your mother, to Queen Zenesis, she was already gone. But you didn’t want her gone. You could not accept it.”
“What did I do?” Kinakabahang tanong ko.
“You turned back the time... Well, at least for her. With your magic, you turned back the time of your mother to the time that she was still alive... But you went too far and turned her into a baby.”
“My mother is alive...”
Ngumiti si Margaux at tumango, “yes, she is alive, but she’s no longer your mother, Zendaya—well, at least to her you’re not her daughter. She may be alive, but she does not know you anymore, she does not even remember being the queen. She’s even four years younger than you. If you suddenly come to her and tell her that you’re her daughter, she’ll think you’ve gone mad.”
“Where is she?” I asked, the thought of my mother being alive made me happy and it calmed my soul... And sad at the same time, because she no longer remembers me. I may have revived her, but I turned her into a baby.
The only memory I have of my mother is her humming the Nightingale song to lull me to sleep. And all this time, I thought my mother died of the flu. They all made me believe that, my father most especially. Hindi ko alam na ito pala ang katotohanan.
“After you used your powers, as a young child, you were drained immediately and you lost consciousness. During that time, Genesis took over your body and talked to your father, King Zenovia Exellencia Nightingale, Genesis told your father about everything that happened and she said that she will erase your memories and replace it. Genesis also created a magic ring that will be able to suppress your magic. She had your father cooperate for your own good as well since your magic was banned already by the Church who was on par with the throne... If they find out that you wielded the creation magic, the same magic that has caused destruction unto the kingdom, you would be killed. So, they did what they had to do.”
I cannot blame my father, nor Genesis. I just wished Genesis told me sooner about the truth. I’ve been burdened by the accusations of the church already, that I killed my mother and all. But I guess Genesis decided to keep me from the truth, because she was afraid that I will be traumatized.
But she made a mistake too of hiding the truth from me... Because if I knew sooner that I had this magic, I wouldn't be struggling on how to control it. I would have been able to master it.
Again, I cannot blame Genesis though. She took the risks knowingly. To save me from the Church too... But how did the Church find out that I had this magic when it was concealed from everyone else, including me?
“What happened to my mother after she turned to a baby?” I asked.
“Your father sent her away to a distant land, to an orphanage—for her safety, wherein she was adopted by a childless duke and duchess.” Sagot ni Margaux, “she was raised there. She’s now fourteen years old.”
“Do you know where she is?” Tanong ko.
Chapter 60
Umiling naman si Margaux, “I tried tracing your mother several times already, but ever since she turned thirteen, I could no longer see where she is or how she is doing. But she is alive for sure.”
Tumango naman ako. The thought that she’s alive is all that matters.
“Anyway, Zendaya, as I told you, an hour in this dimension is a day on the other side, on the real world. The flow of time is very different here... Going back to the real issue, if I had not come to stop you, everyone in the city right now will probably be dead because of you and I do not want you to carry the same burden that I carried after I killed everyone in the city I teleported when I was out of control. So, to keep history from repeating itself, I will teach you from experience, as someone who lost control too. This will not be easy... But are you ready?”
Inayos ko ang aking sarili at tumayo ako’t humarap kay Margaux, “I am ready... Walang oras na dapat sayangin. Kailangan ako ng aking Night Court at ng mga taong iniwan ko. I cannot fail them this time...”
And if I revived my mother, I can definitely revive Shinigami to the time before he died. So, this is my magic that is said to be on par with God himself. I can turn my fantasies into reality.
Hang on, Shinigami.
That served as my motivation to be able to do it.
Sinundan ko si Margaux habang naglakad kami. It seemed like we were walking on calm waters that reflected our figure. The sky looked like an ocean too, with its caerulean shades. Habang naglalakad kami ay nakakita ako ng maliit na halaman. I can see its roots beneath the water where it was planted. As if on cue, the tree suddenly grew as if it was ancient. It was big and huge. Like a thousand-year-old tree. Hindi ko maintindihan kung paano iyon nangyari, but it was magic.
“What’s that?”
“This is the Tree of Life.” Margaux answered, “put your palm against the tree.”
Kahit na nagtataka ay lumapit ako sa puno at hinawakan ito. When my palm was finally pressed against its wood, I felt a strange energy from the tree flow towards my body, it is as if it was replacing the remaining energy I had within. It felt cold and it felt like I was catching a frostbite. I felt like I was burning. I was about to take my palm off when Margaux stopped me. “Don’t... You have to endure the pain for 91 hours.” Is this what she meant that this will not be easy?
91 hours... That ringed in my head. If an hour here was a day on the other side, that meant I’ll be gone for three months. What will happen to my Night Court?!
I sighed. I have to put my faith in them. I know they are waiting for me as I’ve always told them. I know they are waiting for me. I cannot betray their loyalty and their trust. Babalik ako at sa aking pagbabalik, kaya ko nang kontrolin ang mahikang pinamana sa akin.
“This tree is the solution to your problem.” Margaux said, “I honestly wanted to take you here, but I did not know how to approach you in such a way that you will not be suspicious of me. So, I waited for the right moment and perfect opportunity...”
“W-What?” I was confused already. Naguguluhan na ako. What is this tree and how is this supposed to save me? What is this dimension and why are we suspended above the water?
“Your ancestor, King Prius, created this dimension for me with the same magic that you have... And he created this Tree of Life which enables you to be able to control and contain your magic. But you have to withstand the pain for 91 hours. The Tree of Life purifies your soul, the pain that you feel is currently the toxic energy within you being cleaned off, and to be completely clean, you need 91 hours. You need to be exposed with good and ancient energy.”
“I am still confused.”
“A positive mind will radiate a positive energy and the same goes with the other way around. King Prius found out the root to what is causing magicians to lose control with their magic, and it is because of the negative energy that corrupts their soul and mind. So, he created the Tree of Life, I was the first one to try... And it was successful. But the Tree of Life can only be used twice and I was the first one, so after you, it will die.”
“Also, keep in mind Zendaya that as you are being cleaned off by the tree, you have to start learning to control your emotions. Because even if you are purified, if your mind is still tainted with hatred, anger, and negativity—negative energy will once again return. You cannot afford to lose control again. You’ve been given many advices and lectures already on how you will be able to use your magic and not lose control. You have to start believing in yourself now more than anything else. It’s all in the mind.”
Tumango ako. Humarap ako sa puno na tila nililinis ang dumi sa aking kaluluwa. I felt my hands turning numb. It was too much to handle. But I cannot give up now. I have my resolve. This is nothing in comparison to the pain of the people I am trying to save... And if I want to truly deserve being the Queen of the kingdom, I have to be stronger.
Hindi ko alam kung ilang oras na ang lumipas. In this dimension, there was no night, only a day. Margaux told me that we don’t have to worry about getting hungry or thirsty as well, because this dimension was created so that the ones inside it will no longer feel such. And I never felt tired. I only felt the pain that comes from the tree that was cleansing me.
I meditated and reflected on everything that I’ve done—on my faults, on my shortcomings, and on how I can fill in the gaps. I have to strengthen my heart and soul.
It’s all in the mind—my magic is connected with my state of mind.
I reflected. Hindi alam kung ilang oras na ang lumipas. Parang mas lalo pa akong nakahinga habang nararamdaman ko ang pagdaloy ng enerhiya mula sa puno, nililinis nito at pinapalitan ang duming nakabahid sa aking kaluluwa. I feel like I was being reborn... Maybe I was.
All this time, I was hellbent on containing my magic in a bottle. But that wasn’t really how you contain your magic... Well, I guess not for me. I was focused on it, on suppressing my powers... Instead of letting it be and being one with it.
I finally know. It felt like this tree was giving me the wisdom. The frostbite I felt was no longer there, I felt warmth from the energy that the tree was sending me. It feels like summer and I was beneath the sun. It wasn’t too hot, just the right temperature. It was comforting, it made me feel safe and sound. It made me feel alive.
And with that, the green leaves of the tree turned orange and red, then they fell down like a gush of wind has swept them away, as they danced midair, the leaves turned to golden dusts and the wood of the tree glowed and vanished. I felt like I was reborn. My magic... I feel like finally, we’ve become one.
I successfully endured it. I looked beneath me and saw my reflection from the same water where we stand afloat. I saw myself—but this time, I felt different.
I looked back and saw Margaux, “91 hours is done.” She smiled; her eyes glistened in delight.
I feel myself in control already.
I was already one with my magic.
I smiled at Margaux. “Time to go back to the real world.”