You're Mine

Episode 8

Alexandra's Point Of View

That's it.

I'm going to have a heart attack.

The words keep echoing in my head.

I close my eyes shut tightly. Not daring to open it. He is watching me. What am I going to do? Officers are outside.

If I run to the door, will he be able to catch me before I even make it there? What will he do after he catches me? I am not going to think about the episodes I have watched of 'Criminal Minds' no I'm not going to think about it.

Fear slowly crept over me, penetrating from my heart, spreading all over my body leaving a shaking trail in its path.

I am shaking.

Slowly and very slowly, my heart starts to sink in. My throat closing up. I fist my hands to stop shaking. It feels hard to breathe now. My mind starts to shut down.

Then suddenly, I feel breath on my left side of my neck. Someone's breath is trickling over my skin. I try to comprehend what is happening. But when it dawns on me what is happening, my heart drops to my stomach.

That someone is breathing down my shoulder.

That is my last straw.

I scream.

I scream so loud that I think my throat is going to split up and I am going to become deaf. I put my hands over my ears, chanting same words again and again through my sobbing.

"Please leave me . "

"Please leave me alone."

I feel someone's hands on my wrists and I scream again, thrashing around.

"LEAVE ME!!"

The hands leave my wrists suddenly as my skin burns, then I hear voice,

"Calm down ma'am. Calm down.. It's just us the patrol officers.."

"Calm down ma'am "

"Ohh call Lary and Jones .."

I don't know how long it has been when my sobbing had ceased.

I look up to find Lary' s face in my blurry vision. I jump at her and hug her in a bone crushing hug.

"He was here, just leaning against the wall"

"I saw him"

"He was there"

"He was here "

I keep saying same words.

"Calm down honey and tell me what happened? "

So I tell her everything that had happened. She and Jones went to the patrol officers, who were guarding my door and also the one below the window.

After two hours or so, they come back again. I wait for them to tell me that the guards did see that guy but what they said is not what I'm ready to hear.

Lary comes towards me and sits down. I look at her confused.

She looks at me sympathetically then she and Jones , both share a meaningful look.

"Honey, we are going to advise you something you have to listen to us carefully and don't take it in the wrong way. You have to listen to us till the end before making any conclusion. Okay ? " Jones says

"Uhh.. Yeah.. What is it?" I ask, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"Look. There is no one captured on the cameras. Neither the guards found anything or anyone suspicious. You know, they are the best guards, we install here just because of your safety but they didn't see anything. "

I put my hand on my mouth, how can this possible? I did see him. If they are the best patrols how had they not seen anyone?

"What?" I whisper.

"Yes. Now we are going to recommend you something. You have to listen carefully. I want all your attention. Okay?"

I nod my head at Lary's words.

"Ehmm.. Look I think you should consult a psychiatrist--"

"A psychiatrist?" I cut her, ridiculously. What?

I'm not crazy? I'm not mad! What the hell? I did see him.. I'm not making it up!

"Listen to me first before interrupting.." She commands, almost glaring at me..

"What I am saying that you have been living alone for many years. You are a grown up woman. You know what loneliness do to people. What am I saying you should go and see a psychiatrist, you don't have any friends or anyone whom you can share your problems. There will be a possibility that may be. Um.. You are--"

"Making it up?" I cut her again, in a whisper. I don't have proof, they won't believe it. I know it from the start.

"No.. Maybe you are imagining it. There have been many cases where we searched for years but in the end, it was just the imagination of the victim. But we are believing you. We said maybe. We are not sure, ok? We are going to strict our patrols more until it doesn't stop. We are going to watch over you until it stops but you have to see a psychiatrist. Think about what we are saying. It is just for your own good. Think about it calmly.." Jones says.

"Nothing will touch you, honey. You are safe with us. Don't worry. Just please, think what we have said. We care for you."

I am blank. My mind is blank, no thoughts running. It seems like the power has been shut off of my mind. I don't know what to say. So I just nod my head.

"Good. Remember you need a friend I'm here. We will watch over you. Okay? " Lary says.

Again, I just nod.

They both stand up and leave before telling me that officers are still out there and two are going to be in the living room also.

I sit on my bed in the dark. I don't know how long i have been sitting. Just same thoughts are running in my mind.

They don't believe me.

They are not believing me.

They think I'm making it up.

I am stuck in this mess.

I am alone.

Soon, the light starts to peek through the window curtains. I snap out of my blank state to look at the window.

Morning has arrived. I haven't slept. Today is work and I am feeling like crap. I don't want to go to work.

I make my way to the bathroom like a dead person. I look at myself in the mirror. I was thinking that I only feel crap but I also look crap.

Bags under my eyes. Eyes swell and bloodshot. My face is puffy. I sigh and take a shower to look less like crap.

***

When I left my room, the officers are still on the sofa,

Watching some news. Typical.

"Do you want breakfast?" I ask them because they have been here all night.

"Nah - just coffee please.." I nod my head.

After I gave them coffee and fed myself, everything that had been happened past these hours come crushing down on me.

Do I need help? Do I need a psychiatrist? Should I go to a psychiatrist?

Maybe they are right maybe if I get help it would stop? But till how long? What if he is real? But I have security though. Maybe I should go. What's the harm in going?

Yeah I should just go and see what will happen.

Justin

What about him? I think I should stay away from him now.

But why? I am having a great time with him .

Why are you pushing people away?

Yeah. Why I am? I shouldn't push them away. While spending time with him, I feel free.

I feel happy with him.

Then why destroy my happiness?

I was snap out of my thoughts when I hear my phone ringing. Both officers look at me in alertnees on who's calling as I retrieve my phone. I wave my hand that I got this it's fine. In fact it is not a single bit fine.

Do you know why ?

Because Justin is flashing there.

I don't know how this guy always knows and calls when I am thinking about him.

"Miss me?" I hear his teasing voice on the phone but it relaxes me a little bit.

"Nah not a single bit." My voice comes out harsh and low.

"Are you fine? You seem off? And you are not at work either? And you never take off at any cost? Are you sick?" he bombards me with questions.

I smile after so many hours.

"No I'm fine. I am just having a headache nothing serious." There comes my smooth lie.

"You sure? Should I come? Do you need anything?" he worries about me, thinks about me.

"Yeah yeah I'm fine. You are at work, I guess. No talking on the phone. Do your work properly before Boss sees you." I say jokingly.

"Yeah you are right . Oh s**t , she has seen me and coming right here. I'll call you later again. Take care." His voice comes out in a rushed whisper before he hangs up without having a reply.

I shake my head, thinking what to do with my life. How my life from boring becomes like a mystery..

***

Finally.. I sigh.

I just return back from the appointment with the psychiatrist, Mr Mark . It went just fine.

He asked me some random questions about how my life is going and how it feels and blah blah. But to be honest, I really feel calm now. Why had I not done this before? It seems nice to let something off my heart.

I think we should all let our feelings out sometimes to someone. It's for our good. Just a little bit of things can also make you feel better.

As I was wondering in my own thoughts, a knock comes on my door. Uh? Who is that? I look up at the time 8:00pm. Maybe the officers .I open the door to find Justin there. That's what I want now, I say sarcastically of course in my head. Hahah yeah you want it or

especially him.,my mind echoes.

Whatever.

"Hey, beautiful? I thought you had told me that you have a headache. But you seem like to be going to somewhere or coming from somewhere. Huh?" Justin asks, inviting himself in and looking around the house.

"What are you looking for?" I ask.

His head snaps towards me and reply.

"Uh nothing."

"Hmmm" I nod my head and sit opposite of him on the couch.

"So what are you doing here?"

"I just want to see you." He says.

"See me?"

"Yeah to check on you and all. But are you going somewhere?"

"No I just came from. Just out to get some stuff.." I reply, not wanting to tell him where I had been.

"Ohh.."

"Yeah. You had come here from work?"

"Yeah I was just passing by so I thought about stopping to check up on you." He's really so sweet.

"Thanks Justin. It means a lot to me." I reply to him.

"Nah you mean a lot to me." My eyes lock with his eyes. His eyes are shining bright with a glint. His words just touch my heart. My heart swells.

But I remember his words...

Xander' s word.

His sweet words.

' You are my everything..'

Tears stung my eyes and I look away. They all just talk sweet but in the end, leave me. I put a strand of hair behind my ear, avoiding his eyes.

I feel couch dip beside me, then fingers on my face, he moves my face towards him. I look at him .

His eyebrows pull together, eyes holding questions.

"What had happened ? " he insists on happening. Like he knows something had happened in the past.

"Nothing. " I reply quietly, closing my eyes.

A forehead presses against mine. It is Justin's. I open my eyes to be met by his. They are looking at me like he doesn't believe me.

Then his eyes fell on my lips and before i can know what is happening, he is kissing me. I kiss him back trying to tell him through my kiss how sad I am. How broken I am.

He pulls back and smiles at me. I smile back but not fake this time.

"I should get going now. You take some rest now. Okay? " he says.

"Yeah okay. Thanks for stopping by.."

"Laters baby." He says with an arrogant smirk. I roll my eyes at him.

We stand up and I bit him goodbye before closing the door, sighing.

~~~~

I lay down on my bed, my hands under the pillow, face pressed against it. Again, two officers are out in living room.

What will happen today?

I don't care.

But what if he is still leaning somewhere on the wall in the room?

I still don't care.

It feels like I'm becoming numb. I don't care. I close my eyes not waiting to listen whether he is coming or not..

I had even thought of writing 'f**k you' on a sticky paper and sticking it on the window.

But that will be childish so I didn't do it.

I let the sleep consume me because I haven't slept in the past 24 hours, not caring that i do hear the voice of window opening and before I know it, darkness consumes me.