His second chance at a happy life

What Do I Think of my Demon?

Entry 90

I know I just posted, but I must get something off my mind, and I am going to sound so contradicting and crazy as hell. So, the guy I like had told me something that caught me off guard and I don't know how to feel about it, since everything I have researched tells me not to trust him. I don't know if I cannot not trust him. I have known him since I was in ninth grade how can I believe that all this time (eight years) was a lie? I mean that it's a f*cking long time to lie to someone. There is no reason for anyone to lie that long, right? I'm probably over thinking things like always, but how can I not overthink on something this huge? Sure, he's amazing, but he could be f*cking doing whatever he pleases and just f*cking with me. UGH! Sorry, this isn’t helping. Bye....

I sigh, not resolving anything. I stretched my arms. I haven't moved for a while from this spot today. I looked over at the clock. Ugh, it's past midnight. I had been focusing on researching demons and I couldn't find anything good about demons, they will tempt you to sin and what not always pop up, plus a couple of hundred –spn- memes and pictures came up. I need a shower, I shift to get up setting my laptop on the coffee table, plug it in and head to the back of my tiny apartment to my bathroom. Pulling up some music, I turned my water on to warm up. After picking a playlist, I undress and hop in. The scolding hot water felt amazing on my stiff muscles. Closing my eyes, I let it take me away from all my problems. I let my mind go blank and with several deep breaths I, center myself, then like many times before, I envision my center heaven that Mina -Gigi's friend from China that stayed with us for a winter while she found a good place to settle - taught me she said that people from her village were plagued with spirits and had found a way to live with it by focusing their lives to the core of themselves to get rid of the spirits and the stronger their center are the more they center evolves. Some have even blended with their loved ones, and they can have peace together. I was fourteen, so I didn't believe some strange sh*t since I could barely deal with my mess, but I still had her teach me how to create a center place. It is hard to focus when you try to go blank, when you are constantly thinking of your next move knowing if you forget to do anything you could die, and I do not want to die. I took another deep breath. I need to focus on not thinking about the past. I finally go blank and see my heaven, a small house on the back of Mrs. Jacksons farm, I had stayed there for only three weeks, but Mrs. Jackson was nice and let us roam her big farmlands. She was an old African American lady with the sweetest southern accent and yummiest food in the world. This is the only time I can come here, but it is worth it because of the little house no one knew about except me. I could sleep in peace and cry my eyes out without anyone hearing me to just ask stupid questions or say dumb comments. I was seven, and it was the second time I was taken from my mom. She had od'd, and someone called the ambulance and the cops, she was immitted, and I was thrown into the system again. I was scared and was heavily bullied. The moment I met Mrs. Jackson, however, knew about everything and allowed me to have my space, telling me to go explore her land, that it was safe, so I did and found a house deep in the back of her land. It was old and small with yellow paint fading and peeling off. The door swung open with a slight creak, the inside had a couch, a chair and a small table in the middle of the small living room where the door just opened into it. The kitchen was to the left of the door and to the right of the kitchen a hallway went to one room and went to the bathroom. It was dusty and had a slightly bad smell and the bathroom was gross. I spent two days cleaning it with the materials Mrs. Jackson gave me. When I told her about the little house, she had a sad smile as she got the cleaning supplies. She told me the story of that little house; her late husband had built it for them long ago. As she told the story she wore a sad face but at the end she had a smile that showed nothing but love for the late Mr. Jackson. Since no one else knew about the little house, I had it all to myself. So, for the three weeks I was there, I would wake up with Mrs. Jackson at six o'clock, while everyone got up at nine, ate my breakfast and at seven I would walk through the fields behind her house and for half an hour I, walked from the house with light scatters of trees to my heaven away from home. I would take books after books, a blanket, snacks provided by Mrs. Jackson, it made me feel at home in my haven where only I existed and that is why I focused on the quiet, peaceful, calm place that I knew I could safely breathe without anyone to bother me.

"Samantha?" I heard a deep voice pulling me out of the center, my head whips towards the door. A knock came, "Samantha?" It was Trevor. I quickly turned the water off, wrapped a towel around my body and took the four steps to the door of my bathroom,

"How'd you get into my house?" I asked as I opened the door, but the words fell the second it was fully open because he was holding me close soaking him in every spot I touched. "What?" I asked, bewildered at his reaction. "What's wrong?"

"I thought... You didn't answer when I rang the bell, or answer any of my texts or calls, I've been trying to get a hold of you since I got back." I stopped him and asked,

"How long have you been back?"

"Almost two hours." My eyes widened. I didn't think I was in the shower that long, but then again, I haven't had my phone on me since it was playing music, and it never notifies me when I get messages if it's playing music. I look at the time. I was in the shower for an hour. That was true, but it's like I am missing time. Then it clicked,

"I'm sorry I went to my center and I forget that there are times when I need it the most time stops for me as the world continues." I state kissing his neck. He sighs, but it sounds more like a low growl as he speaks,

"I didn't know you could do that." His voice gets lower as I continue to kiss his neck and along his jaw. A moan escapes his lips as I work towards the other side. "Mm-hm." I kiss the other side of his neck. "Samantha." He groans out my name, sending shivers down my spine. The last three days I had been pondering over Trevor and keep going back to how he treated me, how he saved me many times.

"You fought with the pale man at the mall, didn't you?" I paused with my hands on his belt. I looked up into his eyes, which at this moment were shining a scarlet red. I gasp but don't move at all. I am not even scared, I can never fear him. He nods.

"You also help me save Jesus?" I asked, going back to touching him, working my hands under his shirt, moving them over his stomach. He tense up under my touch, his muscles tightened, he was very fit. He doesn't answer but nods again.

"And you really are a demon." I wasn't asking more of confirming. He says my name again. I responded with another hm. His voice came out in ragged breaths,

"I will use all the power I have to keep you safe from the day you were born, today and forever I will protect you." His arms tighten like he is holding on to dear life. My heart jumps and I smile,

"I know." I whisper,

"Hm, god." I heard him whisper when I moved my hands over his body, lifting his shirt a bit and kissing his neck some more. I started to laugh.

"What?" He asks, looking at me. I smile,

"You moan god's name. I just find it funny cause you know, you’re a demon and all." He gives me a lopsided grin, he starts to shine pink, blink one wave of pink coming from him, blink two pink smoke, blink three gone. My eyes widen realizing this happens at lot around him,