chapter 4
1322 Words
The email came on a Tuesday morning when I was three sips into gas station coffee and wondering if I could make Noah's shoes last another month.
*Elena! Oh my God, I can't believe I found you!*
I almost deleted it as spam until I saw the signature: *Vanessa Blake.*
My hand froze on the mouse. Vanessa. My college roommate, my best friend, my maid of honor for a wedding that never happened because she'd disappeared from my life the second things got messy.
I hadn't heard from her in over three years.
*I know we lost touch and I feel TERRIBLE about that. I've been thinking about you so much lately. I have huge news and I need to see you! Can we video chat? I have something amazing to tell you!*
She'd included her phone number and about six heart emojis.
I stared at the screen while Noah played with his toy trucks on the kitchen floor, making little engine noises that usually made me smile. Right now, I felt like I might throw up.
Vanessa had been my person once. My late-night talk-about-everything, share-clothes, finish-each-other's-sentences best friend. We'd planned our whole futures together—she'd be my maid of honor, I'd be hers, our kids would grow up together.
Then I got pregnant, and she got... distant.
At first, she'd been supportive. Excited, even. "You're going to be such a good mom, El! And I'll be the world's best godmother!"
But as the reality set in—the judgment from my parents, the financial struggles, the way people looked at a single pregnant girl—Vanessa started taking longer to return my calls. Our hangouts became rushed coffee dates where she checked her phone more than she looked at me.
The last time I'd seen her was at my baby shower. She'd shown up twenty minutes late with an expensive gift and a strained smile, stayed for exactly one hour, and hugged me goodbye like she was afraid my situation might be contagious.
After Noah was born, I'd called her. Left messages. Sent photos. Radio silence.
Until now.
My phone rang, making me jump. Unknown number.
"Hello?"
"Elena! Oh my God, you answered!" Vanessa's voice was exactly the same—bright, bubbly, with that slight Valley Girl accent she'd never quite shaken. "I was hoping we could video chat, but hearing your voice is amazing! How are you? How's... the baby?"
"His name is Noah," I said carefully. "And he's three."
"Three! Oh wow, time flies. Is he... how is he?"
"He's perfect." I watched my son crash two trucks together with sound effects. "Vanessa, why are you calling?"
"Right, okay, I know this is sudden, but I have news! Huge news!" She took a breath. "I'm getting married!"
Despite everything, I felt a little ping of the old excitement. "That's... that's great. Congratulations."
"His name is Damien, and Elena, he's incredible. Successful, handsome, and he treats me like a queen. We're having a destination wedding in Santorini—you know, those beautiful white buildings overlooking the ocean? It's going to be like something out of a magazine!"
My stomach twisted at the name, but Damien wasn't exactly uncommon.
"That sounds amazing," I managed.
"It gets better! Elena, I want you to be in my wedding party. I know we lost touch, and I know I was... I wasn't the best friend when you needed me. But you were such a huge part of my life, and I can't imagine getting married without you there."
I almost dropped the phone. "Vanessa, I—"
"All expenses paid!" she rushed on. "Flight, hotel, everything. I know money's probably tight, and I want to take care of everything. Please, Elena. I need my best friend there."
Noah looked up at me, sensing something was wrong. I gave him what I hoped was a reassuring smile.
"I don't know if I can leave Noah—"
"Bring him! Kids are welcome. Damien loves children—he's always saying how much he wants a family." Her voice got softer, sadder. "Actually, that leads me to the other thing I wanted to ask you about."
Here it comes, I thought. The real reason for the call.
"Elena, I've been trying to get pregnant for two years. We've seen doctors, tried everything. I... I can't have children. Not naturally."
My heart genuinely ached for her, despite our history. "Vanessa, I'm so sorry."
"Thank you." She sniffled. "But I have an idea. A proposal, actually. Elena, I know you're struggling financially—"
"How would you know that?"
"I... I may have looked you up on social media. I saw where you work, where you live. I'm not judging! I'm just... I want to help. And you could help me too."
The coffee was turning bitter in my mouth. "What kind of help?"
"I want you to be our surrogate."
The words hit me like a physical blow. I sat down hard on my kitchen chair.
"What?"
"I know it sounds crazy, but think about it! You've already proven you can carry a healthy baby. You know what you're doing. And Elena, I would pay you enough to change your whole life. Noah's whole life."
"How much?" The question came out before I could stop it.
"Fifty thousand upfront when you sign the contract. Another hundred when you deliver. Elena, that's enough for a down payment on a house. Noah's college fund. You could quit those awful jobs and actually have a life."
A hundred and fifty thousand dollars. It was more money than I'd see in five years of slinging coffee and scrubbing toilets.
"I... I need to think about it."
"Of course! But Elena, there's a time crunch. The wedding is in two months, and I'd love to start the process right after we get back from the honeymoon. I'm not getting any younger, you know?"
Two months. The same amount of time I had between paychecks, between overdue notices, between wondering if we'd have enough food.
"The wedding," I said slowly. "You really want me there?"
"More than anything. Please, Elena. Let me make up for being such a terrible friend. Come to Santorini, be in my wedding, meet Damien, and think about the surrogacy. No pressure on that part—just think about it."
Noah had moved on to building a tower with blocks, his little tongue poking out in concentration. My beautiful, perfect, deserving boy who wore secondhand clothes and ate generic cereal because that's all I could afford.
"When is it?"
"Six weeks from Saturday. I'll email you all the details! Oh, Elena, this is going to be perfect. Just like we always dreamed."
Not exactly like we'd dreamed. In our old fantasies, I wasn't a broke single mom being offered money to carry someone else's baby.
"I'll think about it," I said again.
"That's all I ask. And Elena? I really have missed you. I know I was... I handled things badly when you were pregnant. I was young and stupid and scared. But I never stopped thinking about you."
After we hung up, I sat in my kitchen staring at my son, who was now making his blocks into a train.
A hundred and fifty thousand dollars.
Noah's future, secured.
A house with a yard where he could run and play.
Good schools. College savings. Security.
All I had to do was carry a baby for my former best friend and her fiancé.
A baby that would never be mine.
"Mama?" Noah climbed onto my lap. "You look sad."
"Just thinking, baby."
"About what?"
About selling pieces of my soul. About second chances and first betrayals. About whether some prices are too high to pay, even for love.
"About goldfish," I said, kissing his forehead.
He giggled. "They still swim in circles."
"Yeah," I whispered, pulling him closer. "They do."
And maybe, I thought, so do we all.
- Writer
