Little Fox in Big Trouble

Ten

The next afternoon, my mother and I sat cross-legged on the floor, while she taught me about what being a kitsune meant. Troy had graciously decided to leave us to it, rather than sit around making me nervous. That’s how he described his departure, anyway. I, on the other hand, believed he was bored out of his mind. I was pretty bored myself, half of the time, and I was the one actively involved in the lessons. Not to mention, with my mother here to show me the ropes, there wasn’t much research for him to do. I also thought, with complete understanding, that he just couldn’t sit still that long while his sister was missing and in danger. I was pretty antsy myself and had spent the better part of the previous night arguing with my mother for the same reason. While I understood my mom’s insistence that I spend a couple of days (which apparently was still not nearly enough) learning my magic before I made any more attempts to help Jess, I also wanted to help Jess, right now. At the very least, I wanted to visit her again, and make sure that she was still alive. Before I spent days hanging back to practice, I needed to be sure Jess would last that long. Mom, on the other hand, thought I came way too close to losing my way back and needed to learn how to anchor myself.

    “Briseis, pay attention!” My mom snapped. “Have you heard a word that I have said about shifting?”

    “Uh…,” I had not. “Mom, I don’t care about shifting. How will turning into a fox help Jess?”

    “First, kit, it is not about turning into a fox. You are a fox. Until you accept that and come to peace with who and what you are, none of your tricks will be enough to save either of you.” She exhaled, rather dramatically I thought, and continued with a hair more patience in her tone. “Listen to me, Briseis. Listen very well. How strong do you think a kitsune’s magic could be if she did not think she was a fox?”

    Was I supposed to answer that? “Uh…,” I said again. My vocabulary was stunning.

    “Exactly, my child, “she nodded as if I had answered perfectly. I had no idea what she was talking about. Hell, at the moment, I was barely sure I knew who she was talking to.

    “What?” I asked.

    “You can not be a kitsune without being a fox, Briseis. They are one in the same.”           

  “Okay, I get it. I’m half fox,” I said.

    “No. You are a fox. No half anything, kit.” She stopped and closed her eyes, briefly. “Yes, your father is human. But you are not. The kitsune spirit overpowers the human. The only thing, magically speaking, your human father gave you was the ability to live as a human child rather than a kit before your true form surfaced.”

    “Oh-kay.” I had no idea how to respond to that, so I didn’t bother. “What am I supposed to do, then?”

     “The biggest part is simply to accept that you are a kitsune. Then, just focus your energy on showing your true form. Similar to how you found Jess, only this time focus on yourself rather than someone else.”

    “Okay.” Sooner or later I would have to come up with better responses, but elegant speech was never my strong suit. I straightened my back, closed my eyes, and inhaled deeply. This time, instead of trying to force my body to shift into a fox, as if it was a foreign shape, I tried focusing on finding my true shape.

    I felt the magic sweep through my body like a caress and opened my eyes. Somehow, everything around me was slightly different, though I couldn’t have pinpointed the difference. At least not before I looked at my mother. I had been taller than her five foot and three inch height since I was twelve; looking up to meet her eyes was a pretty obvious change. The tears I cold see sparkling in them was more concerning, however a series of high-pitched yips met my ears as I tried to ask her about them. Fortunately, she laughed in response.

    “Look at you,” she whispered, reaching to scratch my head. I leaned into her touch and wondered at how nice it felt as she reached into her purse to extract a small mirror and held it before me.

    Another yip reached my ears as I saw the small black fox in the glass. My mother laughed softly, and I yipped again at the sound. Wait. Was that me?!? Snapping my eyes back to the mirror, I flattened my ears and studied the image before me.

    The thin snout, black and silver fur, and whiskers were certainly new. However, the golden yellow eyes staring back at me were mostly recognizable. They weren't very different than the unusual shade of mine. The only real difference was the slit pupils, more like a cat’s than human. I slowly looked up to meet my mother’s eyes again and smiled. I did it! I shifted! I was a freaking fox! I yipped excitedly and wagged my tail.

    “Let’s get some air,” my mom suggested as she pushed herself from the floor.

    I tilted my head in question, wondering why she wanted me to shift back so soon.

    “You don’t have to shift, kit. Just follow me.” She said.

    I followed her out of the apartment and across the parking lot behind the building into the woods. As I considered the new benefit of living in a small town that still had woods, my mother began to shift. My whiskers twitched as the magic swirled around us, and I turned to watch her transformation. I was awed by swirl of colors that danced around her petite frame. My human shaped eyes may have been unable to see the strands of magic weaving through the air and glittering like tiny diamonds, but my fox eyes watched each twinkling thread until they winked out of existence. In their place, stood the most beautiful creature I had ever seen.

    My mother’s fur was a beautiful copper with orange sparks as if she had been dusted with glitter. She had white patches on her snout, around her paws, and at the tip of each of her five tails. She was stunning.

    “Thank you,” I heard her say, though her mouth didn’t move. She chuckled at my confusion before continuing. “You can communicate with those around you, even in your fox form. It’s easier with other kitsune, or other yokai, but it doesn’t have to be either for them to hear you.”