Please Break My Heart

Chapter 9

It was so not fun that Ayanna hoped it would end as soon as possible.

That Saturday morning, Lake decided to add her on f*******: which she accepted. But he did the most unpredictable thing—at least for Ayanna. He changed his status into “in a relationship with Ayanna Manzano” and even uploaded a photo of them together. It was the picture of them posing in front of a 3D art that made them look like they were trapped in a wine glass. Ayanna was smiling widely and so was Lake. Now, Ayanna was not sure if he did that with people he was in a relationship with but everyone else acted surprised and were even leaving some comments.

“Can’t they stop? It’s not like it’s Lake’s first relationship or something,” she huffed as she lightly hit her head on her desk. She could not even concentrate on the papers she was reading. Damn that Lake, she did not know how to face her classmate’s and acquaintances’ questions when she get back to school on Monday. She hoped by then, everything would be forgotten.

*****

Everything was not forgotten on Monday. If anything, it was worse because Ayanna had to face everyone. But she still had to go to school. Like before, Lake sent her to her class, not exactly as bothered as her when it came to other people’s opinions.

Some classmates tried to approach her to ask about how their date was or did they kiss or did Lake profess his undying love for her. Ayanna simply answered them with a fake laugh. Thankfully, the professor arrived right away—much to Ayanna’s glee—and dispersed everyone, saying that they were no longer kids and that they needed to mature.

“As I was saying,” the professor began. “We will have a partnered project. The two of you would need to have to write your collection of poems. Now, the thing about this is that your partner will serve as your critique. Meaning, the two of you will guide one another in fulfilling this requirement. The both of you should also have to agree on one theme for your overall poetry collection.”

Ayanna sighed. How she hoped she would not be paired up with any of Lake’s fans or any of their relationship gossipers. Having to deal with them before class was already tough. She did not want to deal with them after it. Impatiently, she listened as the professor proceeded to name the partners.

“Manzano, Ayanna and Riego, Maxim,” their professor called. “Who else did I miss?” she asked. When no one answered, she continued, “If none then go to your respective partners and get to know each other as you talk about your project.”

Unfortunately, Ayanna had no idea who Maxim was so all she could do was watch as everyone else stood up from their seats and tried to find their partners. She was panicking inside her head when a boy approached her. He was a guy with brown skin but not as tanned as Lake. He had an average height and an average face—at least according to everyone else’s standards. But he wore a sincere smile on his face that the female could not help but to smile back.

“Hi, Ayanna,” he greeted her. “I’m Maxim. Seems like we’re partners,” he added as he settled on the seat beside her.

“It’s nice to meet you, Maxim,” Ayanna told Maxim, eyeing him just a bit. She could not think of why and how Maxim knew of her. They never talked and neither was she known to everyone else. “Just out of curiosity though, how did you know me?”

Maxim pinked just a little. “You are Lake’s girlfriend, right? I think everyone has heard of Lake’s girlfriend who he proudly introduced in social media.”

“I mean, I don’t get why that’s a big deal. So, let’s get to work now, shall we?” Ayanna kindly asked.

“Sure. What kind of poem do you usually write?” Maxim asked, looking sincerely interested.

“Macabre,” Ayanna answered, her eyes had a dreamy look in them. She loved talking about dark literature and being in a Creative Writing class gave her the freedom to do so. “I love dark poetries, I like talking about death and things that you cannot bring back. Don’t you think they’re good?”

Maxim let out a laugh then nodded his head. “I like it too. I think having a macabre poetry collection would be really cool. We should do that.”

“Are you sure?” Ayanna looked quite skeptical. “If you feel forced because of my enthusiasm, it’s okay. I know not many writers would want their works to be quite depressing.”

“As you said, not many does but I am part of the few who does. Does that sound fair enough?” He asked, grinning widely. “It’s good to use something that we really like so that we won’t feel like we’re actually working for something.”

Ayanna returned the grin with a small smile. “I guess you’re right. Then, we should start working on our poems then we can set a meeting time next week? So that we have the time to work together?”

“Sure, sure!” Maxim happily nodded. “May I get your phone number so that we can contact each other if we need help?” he asked, a little too shyly.

But Ayanna did not think of anything about it. Instead, she nodded her head and opened her contacts before handing it to the boy. The boy did the same to her. They both input each other’s numbers on each other’s phones.

Maxim grinned even wider after that. “Thanks, Ayanna!”

“No problem, Maxim.”

*****

It was funny how easily one could say “no problem” when in fact, one was full of problem. Ayanna ate grumpily on her favorite spot in the lobby. She was annoyed upon receiving some messages from Lake’s childish fans about how they weren’t fit to be a couple. It took all of her willpower to stop herself from replying: “Yeah but he’ll never look at you, you desperate female dogs.” She decided to be the mature one and ignored them. She had to block all of them just for extra caution.

She wondered if all of Lake’s girlfriends had experienced this treatment. If they did, it’s a wonder why these female dogs were yet to get sick of insulting others. Then again, maybe it was just her. And she wondered why. Maybe it was because she was ugly. Maybe it was because they thought she was not worthy.

“You’re ugly.”

“You’re not worth it.”

“You’re an ogre.”

Words repeated inside Ayanna’s head. Words that she had always been scared of. Before she knew it, she was tearing up. Lilia was nowhere to be found because it was not her lunch time yet. Ayanna felt so alone. She pulled her knees to her chest, hugging them. She wondered if everything she was doing was worth the trouble.

“What’s wrong?” Unexpectedly, she heard Lake’s voice. That made her look up in surprise. She wondered why he was suddenly there. “Are you crying?” he asked again, coming even closer to her.

“What,” Ayanna blurted out, trying to play dumb as she quickly wiped her tears. “Of course not, why would I cry?” She let out a forced chuckle. “My head just hurts a little. Why are you here anyway?”

“I was passing by and then I saw you crying—not crying rather,” Lake explained, sitting down in front of her. “Are you sure you’re okay? How about going home and rest?” he suggested.

Even when he was being kind, Ayanna could not help the irritation bubbling inside of her. It was Lake’s fault for being a player. That’s why she was being attacked. Maybe that what was he was aiming after all. Maybe he was the one that disliked her.

“I’m fine, go on your way,” Ayanna dismissed him but the latter shook his head.

“Nah, I can always cut,” he said which earned a glare from Ayanna.

“I don’t know what your ex-girlfriends had taught you but I’m going to say this only once, do not give up your education for a relationship,” the girl said through gritted teeth.

The boy had to laugh at that. “All right, you win, you sound like a mom. I’m going to class but please don’t cry anymore,” he murmured, reaching out to pat her head. “I can’t send you home again today but I’ll call you, okay?”

Ayanna simply nodded, her anger was getting even bigger. It really was Lake’s fault for acting sweet towards everyone. Now it’s her they’re all taking their anger at.

Lake was frustrating, everything was irritating; Ayanna wished that everything would end soon.