Paradoxical Love

Chapter 27: Girlfriend

The traces of melancholy swelled from within, her propensity to hold me tighter became apparent as she voices out her inner ego, shivering from the fear of letting me go, she'll tell the very reason why the Student Council President longed for me despite knowing who I was.

"I'm lonely all this time, you're the only one I genuinely want to be with. I promise to fulfill what a girlfriend must. Did you hated me for deceiving you because of my selfishness?" Matilda wavered reflecting back on the wicked things she had done.

"No, I mean..." I silenced myself, unable to tell her what should be.

"You mean what?" She was really begging, desperate to take my hands as her lover.

Before meeting the requirement of telling her what I feel about her declaration of love, I should first understand her way of thinking; from the demeanor down to her blazing affection for me that might be a delusional love, my only choice was to move forward, running away from her was out of the option since the day I met her.

To be honest I'm guessing this was the first time to have fallen madly in love. I have no idea why it was me whom she took fancy nor why she even has a thing for someone who's at the bottom of the worst student in SLU. All I know is that I'm the victim and she's simply a dominatrix without knowing the definition of love.

Matilda has promised that once I became her boyfriend, she would properly act like a girlfriend should do. Now, this is the latter part of my scheme, when she becomes my girlfriend; I will fathom her personality and delve deeper into her past and while I'm at it, I might uncover the reason why she became like this.

A great sacrifice is needed for a great cause, I'm doing this for her so she won't just throw away her love for someone unworthy as me. I never deserved her attention, even if we're together, the feeling that I'm unable to reach her was visible and real.

Simple as the daylight, I will agree to her demand not because I want to be her boyfriend nor I want her to stop sexually harassing me whenever she wants, but because it is only for her well-being so that I can prove to her that her love was delusional and therefore she's tricking her mind into desiring someone like me.

The same answer came shoulder to shoulder, instead of acting romantic, I merely held her palm tightly so that she could see how sincere I am without the stain of lies, even though there is a hidden purpose in it.

"I've already decided," I opened my eyes, having no regrets from the scheme I conceived, it was my time to be on the offensive.

"Wh-What will be your answer? Will you agree?" Her apprehensive expression says that she is ready to accept the opposite of my answer, she also braced herself bearing the possibility of getting broken-hearted, too bad for her such a thing won't happen.

"I will be your boyfriend, Matilda." I gave my answer in my sincerest declaration I did in my entire life. I wore no facade and openly displayed who I am showing I'm not the type to fool around, my conviction was the manifestation of my purest will, I shall see the end of this madness.

"Really...?" Matilda couldn't believe, her eyes became teary sobbing upon hearing my honest reciprocation.

"I said I will be your boyfriend. Don't you want to?" I'm just joking around lighting up this tense atmosphere.

She gave a gentle and fervent embrace that I definitely relished, I almost fainted from her sudden clingy behavior. But for some unknown reason, the hug she offered was different from her usual forceful hold, and here I am accepting what she has for me despite knowing I've only reciprocated her feelings to understand her better.

"I thought you'll ignore my selfish request... I really do love you, my darling." Her assertive utterance of darling to me seemed like electricity thundered through my body.

"Please cut the darling part, my mind isn't ready yet, our first name's fine so..." I flinched, she's way too romantic I might die from a heart attack.

"Okay, Reyler." Matilda's back to normal, what the hell's happening to me getting flustered? I inhaled and exhaled a few times to calm myself during these turbulent times.

"Ri-Right Matilda..." I stammered, unable to comprehend that I just got a girlfriend for it was so random and sudden I'm guessing maybe I haven't woken up from my dream.

"Since you're my boyfriend... Would you kiss me now? Just a simple kiss on my cheeks will do..." She implored; she's pointing out her right cheek with her own index finger. Now we're back in square one as I reckon this was her ulterior motives, but I suppose it's fine since I too have hidden agenda.

"O-Okay... if you say so." I agreed, I mean we're lovers now am I right? And she's the one who gave me permission, I can do this for her sake, not because I love her. I'm the one who's pulling the strings from behind, I will no longer yield to her whims when I can undertake the circumstances in my will.

"Really?" Matilda enthusiastically doubted, I can't blame her she must have expected I would refuse it.

I have never kissed a girl in my own leisure except for my sister since we're basically family. But since I chose to strengthen my resolve, I'd never turn my back as I give her the kiss she craved for.

"I'll do it... Close your eyes." I was confident I won't make a mistake.

"Alright..." Matilda's assertive whenever she assaults me of her own volition, though she's actually bashful if she's the one being subjected to this level of embarrassment.

Right now, it's as if I'm not the one who's controlling my body. I'm just moving based on instinct, mimicking the way she kissed me before 'cause I've no idea how to give a proper kiss to one's lover.

So, little by little I brought my face close to her cheek, I even held her shoulder to lessen my nervousness. However, she was even more apprehensive than I am, she's practically rose-red up to her ears which made my act way more awkward.

It's true I possess the title of the notorious delinquent on campus, yet deep inside I'm a pathetic virgin trying to kiss the illustrious Student Council President of the Saint Legacy University, how ironic can it get than this.

I was going to go for it and seize the one-in-a-million opportunity when someone from behind the door knocked three times and thus disturbing the two of us which goes well in my favor.

"Tsk. Wait for a moment." Matilda's infuriated that someone intervened in the perfect moment, she crooked her smile and acted fine, I can tell from her outward appearance that she wants to kill the one who interrupted my kiss for her.

"It's fine, keep calm Matilda." I eased the anger building up before it becomes a burden in her responsibilities.

She whispered something to me seductively before she lets the person from outside in. "Next time, we'll continue where we left off. Sit on that chair near  my desk first so they won't suspect anything about our relationship." She's awfully cautious and cunning, expert when it comes to tactics and devious methods, fit to her title as Council President.

"Got it." As she advised, I just remained on the chair where guests or visitors were usually sitting.

When she unlocked the door, a familiar boy appeared having his golden hair shimmering full of hair wax. His height was only about my neck and I am aware of who he is.

He's the Student Council Vice President of SLU, Brendan, a conceited person that I want to throw off on a cliff during the student council election.

"How beautiful you are today Council President. The sun was the witness of your extraordinary beauty." He's disgusting as always, nothing new about it.

"Stop with the flattery. What brought you here?" Matilda's tone was bitter, she wasn't in the mood, that's just the right reaction.

"You are as cold as snow when uttering a word, but it is as hot as the blazing furnace when it came to me." He's impressing Matilda using his old-school pickup lines, how pitiful he can get, he should just get lost.

"Wait, who do we have here? The infamous delinquent of our university, Reyler." Brendan's ticking me off, I might dislocate his limbs once I hear him say a word again.

"I'm going now, Council President." I bid farewell passing between the two of them, my hands on my pocket walking straight to the entrance.

"Hey! Pay your manners! You bastard!" Brendan exclaimed, I didn't even touch a single strand of his hair yet he's this aggressive. He's all bark and no bite, I might teach him a lesson once in a while to let him experience who he should fear.

"Stop Brendan! People change too, don't just insult him like that!" Matilda scolded him and that's what he gets for blindly picking a fight with me.

"I do apologize, Council President. I became rude to your guest." Brendan only withdrew for that moment so I didn't care much and went on my way. 

"Forget it, what is your purpose here?" Matilda's getting straight to the business, she's actually pissed off I wouldn't wonder if she let out her rage to the vice-president.

"Oh, right, Ma'am Rivera just gave me these documents earlier, she said they were for you." Brendan immediately switched back to his position and addressed the reason why he visited the council office.

I didn't hear much of what they were talking about because I was far away from them as I walk in the corridor.

Still, I went back to my classroom wondering if everything that happened was true. I don't need to pinch my cheeks to determine that this is the reality, Matilda really became my girlfriend, and I unknowingly agreed under the pretense that it was for her sake.

On another note, for some reason, why is my heart tightening for imagining the vice-president Brendan is alone with Matilda in her office? I'll just forget everything about her for now, I want to take a proper respite from the heavy burden hanging on my chest and try to cope with this miserable state that I am in.