Paradoxical Love

Chapter 22: Lies

"Reyer... Ahh... This euphoria of feeling your body... You're mine..." Her moans were brimming my ears, an exotic pleasure, and mild discomfort as she was riding my lap was what I initially felt.

I couldn't even move an inch nor push her back as I was defenseless taking advantage of what little pride I have left behind.

It was so cold my upper shirt was missing, my whole form trembled at the signal of my awakening from my slumber, even though I could not see what she was doing, all I could feel was her warm pecks on the delicate part of my chest.

"Matilda. What would you achieve by doing this to me? Isn't what you did to me before enough?" I asked, letting her dominate all over my body.

She's ignorantly not listening to what I have to say as she continues her business on top of me. Now she tried biting a part of my collarbone to silence me, I restrained my moans and steeled myself, a faint voice of mine shows I couldn't resist her temptation.

"Ugh... ahh..." I can't allow that she managed to see my embarrassing state, I thought I can push her now that I woke up, it seems I'm still weakened tremendously that she can easily pin me down again.

"They say boys like being sucked on their chest, no?" Just what kind of absurdity she's spouting.

This girl is the embodiment of lust, craving for physical intimacy showing her true colors behind her figure as the respected and revered Student Council President of Saint Legacy University.

"Who gave you that idea?! Please stop it... Because..." I can't say it out loud.

"Because what...?" Matilda got curious, she's an unstoppable train fuelled by mortal desires.

I can't tell her that the sacred sword I keep between my legs is harder than the earth's bedrocks. Once she discovers I'm actually getting turned on by this s****l stimulation, she'd definitely devour me alive.

"I know you're as hard as your muscles. 'Cause I have been touching you down there this whole time." Matilda bit her lips and flickered my forehead, she's reading my mind, there's no way that's possible.

"W-What?!" I shifted myself backward, my shoulders had hit the bed's headboard which means I'm at an impasse. I can't escape nor resist any further, my doom is imminent, I've become her plaything just as she had planned.

Aggressive as she was, Matilda boldly placed her hand on my solid crotch, she wanted it and so she merely reaches for what she sought. She buried it up and down as if she were really holding my sacred sword. In fact, the demon that lives in my body almost got stirred up.

Why am I getting aroused? She's taking advantage of me yet why does my heart is responding to her? I can't believe how such a fool I am, what did I even do to deserve this? I have lost hope and reasoning, there was only one left for me to do before she crosses the line.

"Stop..." I begged for her to stop this madness, she never listened.

I took away her mischievous hands, I backed off until my back's touched the cold wall in the corner, the side of her bed. But, when I turned to the right side where her pillows are set aside, I found my sister lying there unconscious.

I remembered Kiana and I sipped a glass of tea at the same time, she should be conscious but unfortunately, she's not showing signs that she'd wake up.

I just don't expect to come to the point in my life where I will be exploited by a young lady and no one else but the Student Council President herself. This world is forsaken as it is, her wickedness is immeasurable and beyond changing back in innocence.

"Are you really that dense? I'm letting you violate me. Are you really a man?" Matilda's provoking me, I won't tolerate how she can just give into pleasure.

"Of course I'm a man!" I declared confidently, I intimidated her a bit and I see it was effective, she clenched her fists and put up the act that she's tough.

"Then why can't you even touch me or look at me? Am I not enough for you?" She squeezed my cheeks and forced me to look into her eyes, I was speechless for a moment, unable to respond to her sudden question, not when she's about to cry.

"It's not like that... I'm not that kind of man in your dreams. My feelings for you were admiration and respect. No more, no less." I answered honestly, the silence took over again, maybe she took my words and reflected upon her actions. Although, I was wrong again.

"I... feel lonely... so I want you..." Matilda's tone was meek, her arms and legs were shaking, the traces of forlornness was evident in the way she prevents herself from shedding tears.

"Matilda..." I was in awe, she must have been lonely standing at the top, alone without anyone to tell her worries and hardships. She linked her forehead on mine and looked directly upon my soul.

"I have a last request. If you ever grant it, I will never do this again." She proposed a very intriguing offer. I'm aware this is one of her antics, yet here I am fooling myself clinging to the faint hope that she might change for the better.

What else can I do to stop this nonsense other than facing her head-on? I can say it's a double-edged sword since I'm not sure what is it that she wanted, but for me to have my control back; it's the wisest decision for the both of us.

"Spit it out. I can trust you in this." I believed her, she unlatched her forceful arms on my restricted form, prepared to yield her wish for me to end her delusion that she owns me.

"Then... I want you to act like you're abusing me." Matilda brushes her hands on my chest, she longs for me and it'd be rude to not reciprocate what she sought for all this time.

I held both her shoulders and answered. "If you say so, I'll gladly do it for you―" Then that's the instance I realize she's an incorrigible masochist who I hated the most, I tried shoving her so we'd switch places though her lust was empowering her to such an extent I can't oppose her will.

"No! Are you crazy?! Why would I do that?!" This time, I exclaimed honestly, I'm done with her, I won't allow this anymore.

"I really love you... And I want to become one with you... Acting is all I need so please..." Matilda pleaded, at this rate, she's going to cry just so she can get what she desires.

"Are you sure you're going to stop?" I'm asking for a peaceful compromise.

"Yes. I promise." She nodded and I took her sincerity as an agreement.

Those closed eyes of her, beautifully hiding her deepest secrets. She promised and for me, a promise is the materialization of a person's kindness to fulfill one's wish. So I believed in her with all my being and hope she has a reason to stoop so low.

"All right, I'll start." This is all just an act, I should endure this until the curtain calls. For this very purpose, I slowly brushed my finger down her neck.

"Ahh! Reyler, no!" Matilda was right on the performance, she crawls until her head touches the wall, just like what she did to me earlier.

I further pushed her hard horizontally on her bed regardless if I hurt her or not, this is what she craves, taking pleasure in pain was a part of her delight.

I climbed on her body as if I was really trying to violate her and I really made sure the act looks like I'm taking advantage of her frailty.

"Touch my bosom, undress me so..." She's been whispering since we began acting, enough for me to hear her voice along with her moans.

Exactly doing what she had instructed me to, I mercilessly took off her upper clothes that matched her white, sleek complexion.

However, I was surprised when I found the thin layer of linen fabric wrapped around from her stomach up to her chest, I thought it was her brassiere but now seeing it up close, I was curious as to why she has such an uncomfortable thing coiled on her torso.

Still, I behold her topless figure, it's white as the freezing snow, traces of her grapes were protruding on her white linen fabric, I was so embarrassed internally that my outward appearance completely stopped functioning.

Not only is that what my sinful eyes see, down there, where the river flows, her lingerie is also somewhat so wet that it is leaking like a broken dam. I've never seen something like this before, I was so amazed and bewildered at the same time.

"Ahhh... Reyler..." Matilda winked her left eye, she's telling me I should go for it.

"Huh?" I was about to cross the line and touch her down there when I notice an unusual pattern from her demeanor.

I was so focused on her idea that when I agree to perform this act, she would stop this farce and end our relations once and for all, I was already touching her softness regardless of my own volition.

This day and year, for the first time, I truly violated a girl and touched her nether regions.

This means even though this is all an act, the fact I violated her myself won't change. Now that I apprehend, what I'm doing is so risky since Kiana is just next to me and she can wake up at any time.

"Ahh... More, Reyler, you are mine now!" Matilda thirst for more, I spoiled her too much.

Holding her forearms and pinning her down, I was going to kiss her in accordance with our skit, but then she deviated from what we had agreed upon.

She gently pushed me aside and I unmounted from her lap, I suppose the act had ended. To my surprise, she stood up with her head down, walked to the cabinet, and arranged some things there behind the shadows.

"When will my sister wake up? And you promised to let me go, didn't you?" I fulfilled her request, there's nothing between us anymore, I can finally forget the things she had done to me and live my life to the fullest.

"I gave your sister a more potent dosage of the sleeping pill. Maybe the effect will last until morning. Too bad for you, you brought her here." Matilda sounded very hostile, the light was off, yet I can tell she's holding something.

"She's the one who insisted anyway... Wait a minute, what are you holding?" My curiosity's bugging me again.

For me to clearly see what she was holding in her hands, I first rubbed my eyes to confirm if what I was observing was really correct. And from where I remained, a stream of fire flowed through my veins up to my head when I perceive what exactly the gadget she has.

She smiled rather calmly but later became a vile grin that I hated, it was filled with evil intentions, I almost forget that her strings were still attached to me, and therefore she can pull anything off in her will.

A mix of negative emotions painfully returned to my heart in those moments, it manifested in hatred I never considered possible before to the point I'd want to get rid of her.

"You... What is the meaning of the camera in your hands? Did you record the entire scene?" My heart is worn out, weighing the heavy feeling of being duped, I clenched my fists and bit my lower lip until it bleeds out.

"I..." Matilda can't even say a word or two, guilty of what she had committed.

"So what are you going to do with the recorded video? Did you actually ask that act so you can watch me doing it to you? Are you planning something with its use? Have you gone senile?" I grilled her for lying to me. Her true goal was so she can capture a scene where I'm violating her when it was her who asked for it.

"No. Actually, I have another proposal." She even had the gall to offer another proposal.

If she's serious, then it means there is one conclusion. Now I understand how much of a demon she is.

A beast, a snake, whatever kind of fiend she becomes, Matilda is the scourge I should avoid at all costs. It was a mistake I took her love letter, it was a mistake I met her, I've never regretted a decision in my life, and here I am deluding myself that she can change.

I understand now, of all she has shown me, this side of her is the only thing I discern quickly before she can even speak up the truth.

"Let's say, or to be blunt. I'd blackmail you using this video I recorded." Matilda had no reason to hide the truth.

"Blackmail me? What do you really want?!" I slammed the bed with my fists, I bent down, harboring a burning hatred towards her; the instance I raised my voice, she was a little frightened and backed away in guilt, although, she was mentally prepared for it and expected things to turn out this way.

She went beside me, waving around the camera that she used to record, but I'm sure she already removed the memory card earlier, she'd never let such an important gadget get near me.

"I want you... to be my faithful boyfriend. If you try to disobey me, I'd put this video up on social media; with the caption of a man forcing a woman. You probably don't want to get arrested, don't you?" Matilda's trembling all over, yet not even hesitation was apparent from her ego.

No words can describe how I resent her. Why would she do this to me? Why are unfortunate things kept dragging me down? Disgusting. Bothersome. Depressing. I want to hurt her but such an effort isn't a part of my vocabulary. Rage solely swelled within me, an anger that can't be quelled after what she had done.

"Tell me... You lied to me about your last request, am I right?" I questioned her one last time.

Right now, I want an answer from her. I'd leave her once she spouts a different response.

"Yes, I lied. I lied just to do this. This is how much I love you! Don't you understand Reyler?" Matilda's outspoken, I can confirm in her diamond-like eyes she's telling the truth, but it can't change the fact she lied to me after she promised to free me from her suffocating grasp.

So now she was able to lie for her to be satisfied with her self-centered proclamation of love towards me. Will she do anything even if she hurts me as long as she only gets what she wants from me? How foolish am I to dance on her palms.

She even dared to trick me with that cheap words she had been using since I had met her. I loathe her, without remorse, I never disliked a person this much before the dawn of time.

"I hate you! You lied. You promised me yet you did this to me! I thought you were true to yourself, you deceived me just for this nonsense!" Even those words of mine do not want to subside like a running river.

This is how I am when it comes to being sincere to myself; I shout those feelings within me so that it reaches her closed heart; I didn't even care shedding tears in front of her, I was so devastated and crushed from her lies.

"Reyler, No... I didn't mean to make you cry... Please not like this." Matilda considerately approaches me, I bet she's fooling me again. I no longer trust this wicked girl who shattered what little hope I have left for her.

I believed in her words and revered her for being an exemplary student, but, in the end, a broken promise was what she gave back. She tried to pat my back and console me but I would never let her touch my body ever again.

"Reyler I–" Before she could trick me again, I shoved her aside forcibly crashing her on the bed's headboard, she managed to cover her back to reduce the impact.

"Silence! Don't you dare touch me!" I struck my fist right on the wall next to her face, my blood's dribbling on it, I bore a dent on it as it was made out of wood.

"Please listen, I swear I didn't mean to..." Matilda tried to explain it in words, she just can't.

Is that what she will show again? Supposedly she was also shedding tears, the painful part of her guilty expression is that I can't figure out if it's really true. But right now, everything about her is lies, nothing to retain at all. Because of that one broken promise, I can no longer trust her for who she was.

After wearing my shirt, I gave my sister Kiana a piggyback ride making sure she's comfortable even though she isn't awake, as to not let her wake up in this nightmare.

I certainly have nothing to gain from her; I should just have ignored her since she declared her false love. I just hate people who manipulate someone's feelings deceiving them for their own benefit, and most of all, those who'd never hesitate to break a promise after it was set to stone.

"I am getting out of here. Don't follow me." Before I could pass through the door, Matilda's firmly tugged my shirt's hem, she's unmistakably shivering, unable to utter anything nor explain herself.

"Let go of me," I warned her for the last time.

"No." She persisted stubbornly.

Balancing Kiana on my back, I drove her hand off of me, I left her and went out of her house. But, she still declared something that even her voice reached me from a distance.

"Remember the agreement! You are mine, Reyler." That was the last thing I heard from her.

I tried to look back, she was crying and sobbing, in that moment, did it seem like I saw myself in her? I must be wrong. She lied and she is evil, much worse than a brute.

I walked home even though my sister was heavy. Until I disappeared into their street, she didn't even close the door and waited for me to turn the next corner. I can still observe her lamenting state until she knelt from where she stood, I can't tell anymore if she regretted it or not.

What do you really get out of all this Matilda? May this enigma get added again to the hundreds that dwell in my heart. Just like me, her heart is in a paradox. So perplexed that there is a chance I had misunderstood her and even hated her for my selfishness.

If only I'd console her and heard her story about why she lied, about why she wants me so badly, but she's just prostrating in front of her house, probably weeping all alone under the blanket of starless sky.