COWARD
1356 Words
-I'm not a coward – Yarinthza muttered. Her glassy eyes staring blankly ahead of her as she sat on the frozen dirt – I had never run away from trouble before!
-Drink this – The Nevarehan prince offered instead, placing a steamy cup in her hand, and deliberately ignoring her rant – It will help to keep you warm.
-Thanks – The Xiblenean sniffled, giving him a melancholic smirk while taking a cautious sip from the sour drink – You're a good boy, Kholut. You know… Your mother is far from perfect, but at least she did one thing right.
-Don't blame yourself, Your Grace – The young Nevarehan murmured, patting her shoulder briefly, before taking a seat across the fire and reaching for his own cup – What happened that day was not your fault.
-Wasn’t it? – Yarinthza cried out in anguish. Anxiously tugging at a loose thread on her sleeve with increasing force – Oh, trust me, honey… I'm sure it was, because I raised that kid! And now he has turned evil and made a joke out of me!
-He is not evil – The bearded youngster lightheartedly opined – He is just very gullible, and I believe he’s been brainwashed. I think that the Lowlander rebel is the real mastermind.
-Ugh! That pest! What was his name again? – The Xiblenean monarch puffed out in disgust, snapping her fingers repeatedly as if trying to recall – I should have seen this coming after that shitshow in the warehouse… And how did I miss that snake’s presence in the caravan?
-Kai… Kaionte? I think I heard Dahro call him that once – The Nevarhean mumbled with a little uncertainty – But the name is not important at this point, Your Majesty. All that matters is how he is going to act. Because they sold him an ideal, a very dangerous one!
-I know that! And I ran, like a coward! – Yarinthza exclaimed in utter despair, raising her hands up and letting them fall defeatedly on her lap again – I should have stayed to stop him from doing any worse!
-We are not running. We are just getting reinforcements so we can fight back – Kholut patiently corrected her – I already told you so.
-But I abandoned my post! – The monarch bitterly complained – I…I should never have listened to you, boy! I’ve lost my entire realm!
-Calm down – The youngster groaned in a slightly commanding voice – We’ve already gone through this, Your Grace. It’s like my mom always says… Sometimes receding is the only wise move left to make.
-Your mom… Your mom did a good job raising you – Yarinthza enviously wept, angrily scrubbing her cheeks red – And honestly, I always thought I had done a fine one myself, until that awful day.
- Listen… Would it make you feel any better if I told you that I don't believe that this has anything to do with your son's upbringing at all? – Kholut asked as he distractedly stirred the contents of the pot that was now boiling over the fire.
-Well… A little – The Xiblenean quietly murmured, nervously twisting her fingers and looking expectantly at him.
-Good – He sighed. Carefully pouring some of the resulting stew into a bowl and passing it to her – Because I do. This is not about your parenting methods, Your Grace. I am afraid it's a lot more complicated than that. Dahro is nothing but a pawn in their intricate game.
-A game of power and hatred – Yarinthza agreed, hungrily taking a spoonful of her food, and instantly closing her eyes in delight – Oh Gods! This is delicious! Who taught you to cook so wonderfully, uh? You are barely a child!
-My father – The young prince humbly shrugged it off, pouring himself a large portion and blowing on it – He says that it’s a basic skill that one must learn in order to survive.
-Hah! My son would have already starved! – The woman chuckled, her laughter soon devolving into a gloomy whimper that became silent a moment later when she nodded at him, adopting a more serious stance – Your dad sounds like a very clever man.
-He is one – The bearded teenager simply responded. His attention then shifting to his meal, which he proceeded to eagerly gobble down.
-Sometimes I wonder if Dahro would have turned out differently if he’d had a father – Yarinthza whispered after a long, quiet pause – Maybe he lacked the guidance of a man.
-Does that mean that you miss your late husband then? – Kholut frowned with piqued interest, raising his sight.
-Of course not! – The queen chortled, choking a bit with a piece of meat– Not Ashrae, please… Any other fatherly figure but that!
-Was he as awful as people say? – The youngster curiously wondered. Pouring himself a second bowl and greedily digging into it.
-I guess – She mindlessly mumbled, scratching her chin and winking an eye at him – Thankfully, I never got to know him that much. I was nothing to him but a means to perpetuate his lineage, and once I finally got pregnant, he happily left me alone.
She paused. Taking a deep breath and looking up at the stars for a second, before staring back at him and composing a smile.
-I was honestly relieved when they told me that Ussi had killed him – She confessed in a sorrowful tone – I thought that he wouldn't be able to taint my innocent baby with his hateful ways if I just raised him with love. But maybe it wasn't enough. Or maybe Ussiariah is right, and blood is thicker… So, I never stood a chance after all.
-Oh, I’m sure Ussi never said that – Kholut remarked, shaking his head scoldingly at her – At least not with those words… You are simply reading into it all the way it suits your own remorse. But self-pity is pointless right now. So, you better save it for after this war.
-You're so righteous!– Yarinthza amusedly snorted at his claim – That, and the full beard almost trick me into forgetting that you are just a baby sometimes!
She then averted her sight and looked towards the shadows of the trees that surrounded the path they had been traveling for what felt like a month now.
In reality, it hadn't even been that long since that weird, bearded teenager had tossed a change of peasant clothes into her bewildered face, and fled Xiblen's grounds with her in tow.
And she was utterly grateful that he had done so... That young Nevarehan prince had jumped into action and effortlessly taken the lead when she had been cripplingly consumed by doubts. So, regardless of what she had been forced to leave behind, she knew deep inside her heart, that Kholut had been right. After all, he'd had to abandon his own unit himself.
“We can’t save them on our own!” – He had sternly shouted at her when she had stupidly refused to go – “Not with just the two of us!”
It was true. This was their only chance. Yet, every single day that passed made Yarinthza´s anxieties grow.
“What if they were too late, and she never got her realm back?” – She tortured herself thinking at night – “What would become of her son after what he'd done? Would he ever come around?”
-Staying up late won’t do you any favors – Kholut´s grunting voice reminded her and brought her back to the camping site – You better rest now.
-You are a good kid, Kholut – Yarinthza yawned, gladly taking the prince's advice, and tiredly rolling on her side – Don't you forget that.
-And you are not a coward, Your Grace – He groggily responded, lying on the ground and turning his back towards her – Or such an awful mom... Don’t let them tell you otherwise.
- Writer
