Half life

The Big Bang

“Mum no! Please don’t do this to me, I am begging you. Trust me, he is going to change. If you leave now who is going to take care of me?You told me you will always be here for me, why are you now leaving us? I thought you said you loved me?” I kept ranting breathlessly, amidst the tears running down my cheeks like a bust water pipe. Mum stood motionless. Perhaps, if I had look up I would have seen the tears on her face as she kept sobbing silently. Heaving loudly after a long silence, she moved close to me stopping only but a hairs breath in such a way that I could feel hot air from her nostrils gush over my face and cupped my face in between her palms with her breathing almost bated.With a reassuring smile she began, “you have to believe me sweetheart, I really want to stay but your dad doesn’t want me anymore. He… She made to speak but the tears wailed up in her eyes won’t let her as they threatened to fall off her eyes if she attempted to. She swallowed hard, trying to stop them from falling but it was too late as she busted into fresh round of tears sniffing at intervals.It didn’t just make sense to 8 year old me. I mean, how dad would suddenly want mummy to leave us. I thought he loves Mummy. Besides, Aunty Joyce taught us in school that husband and wife stay together forever. That they give birth and grow old together. She told us so when we were treating family as a topic last summer. ‘Is Mum not Dad’s wife?’Breaking out of my thoughts, I looked up in space with my grayish tiny eyes darting left and right as they scouted around the walls of the spacious sitting room in search of my parents wedding portrait. There it is I muttered at last, breaking off mum’s grip in the process as I pointed my tiny fingers towards the gigantic portrait in the middle almost overlapping the sixteen year old clock hanging loosely on the wall. Mum, brightly smiling to the camera was wearing a Bateau; elongated gently at neck, following the curves of the collarbone as it extends nearly to the shoulder tips and cuts straight across to show less of the décolletage area while dad was on a burgundy two piece tuxedo suit with a pair of black Italian shoes and a very low haircut to match. He looked rather too smart in it as he flashed a fake smile at the camera. That was over a decade now, two years or so before I was born. “I am sorry but I have to go sweetheart, I know I promised to stay but I am very sorry dear. I wish I can make you understand but you are just too young and won’t be able to. However, when you grow up and become an adult dear I assure you will understand perfectly. You will have all the answers to the questions bothering you mind now. Do take care of yourself for me my princess. Always remember mummy loves you so so dearly”. Mum said, smiling wearily as she kept sniffing to control her tears. And she plodded out of the sitting room. Mum’s shrill voice rang through my head, jerking me out of my thought. I was even too tired to dash after her.My body was visibly shaking as I wrapped my arms around myself amidst the sudden unforgiving cold chilling my skin with my teeth chattering relentlessly in my mouth. I couldn’t hold it anymore as I left the tears fall off freely from my eyes. I wasn’t too sure if I knew why I was crying but I was certainly saddened by the fact that I was going to feel the absence of my very best friend; my mum. ‘How was I going to cope all alone in this horrible house?’ Nobody really cares if I am alive or dead except mum. Dad was always away on silly business trips, leaving mum and I behind in this empty house. He only appeared once in a blue moon and when he did, he came home with all manner of stupid and annoying trash he calls presents. It didn’t matter to him, if I was sad and needed someone to talk to. Even when he was around, he was only concerned with work. Working, all day and night even on weekends. He never really had my time and literarily ignored me when I try to talk to him. If he did answer me, it was on special occasions and they occurred only on rare days. And on these days, he treated me nicely. Most often, if I persisted with many questions he will simply order me to go and ask my mum instead. And now, here was mum leaving me to rot in this Godforsaken hell of a house. A lot of questions kept running through my head as I kept sobbing lightly. My best friend is now gone!I hate every one of them for been too selfish and inconsiderate. Especially my dad, how on earth will someone be this cruel and wicked?He gives orders like an army general and treats every one under him like a slave. He respects no one at all. How will he just order my mum to leave us just like that? I will never forgive him for all these pains he has caused me and mum. Sinking into a sofa nearby, I winced and tightened my brows and continued to sob endlessly, ignoring the migraine threatening at the back of my head. Obviously, the headache must have resulted from my unending sobs. I didn’t care if I was hurting or not. I won’t stop until dad comes back and explain to me why he decided to take away my only source of joy, Why he has decided to hurt me so bad and treat me like a piece of trash. Why he makes decisions without even considering my feelings for once. I was still lost in thought when the heavy hands of sleep concealed my eyes and I went out like a light in a thunderstorm.