Rugged Men Series 6: Jackson Cruz (TAGALOG)

Chapter 3

“NO OFFENSE meant, Cruz. But your longtime girlfriend is wicked, she's toxic, and you know that,” wika ni Alejandro at tinapik ang kanyang balikat. “Imagine it, Cruz. You sneaking out just to come here. Man, you literally can’t come anywhere you want because of her. You have no freedom. Dinaig niya pa ang asawa ko.”

“I'm aware of that,” sagot ni Jackson. “It's just... it’s the way she is as a person, I can't do anything about it.”

“Of course, you can,” pagsalungat ni Kyron para mapatingin siya rito.

When his friends all looked at him with the same reaction, they knew that they agree with Kyron.

“I can't do that,” ani Jackson at sumulyap kay Heather na ngayon ay tahimik lamang sa kinauupuan nito kagaya ng nakagawian.

He gaze at Heather and his heart smile out of a sudden. For a moment, he wonders what it feels like to be with Heather and not minding anyone's opinion at all. She seems so calm, well-collected, and especially quiet. Just like the way he expected her to be. He could already tell that he could feel peace with her, like calm sea water in the deep blue ocean. Him riding on a boat with her, sailing through the gentle wave. How lightweight could that be?

But just because, he likes a person doesn't mean he needs to pursue it and embrace it. It doesn’t work that way. It never works for a man who has been committed for years now.

“I can't...” dugtong ni Jackson sa sagot at nagbawi ng mga mata nang dumating na ang kanilang order.

“I mean, it’s up to you, Cruz. All we can do is support you. But if you think you can’t do it anymore, save yourself from that toxic relationship. Man, give your heart a break,” ani Alejandro at lahat ng kanyang kaibigan ay napatingin sa kanya.

Tinanggap niya ang order at dinampot ang ilang baso at bumalik na sa mesa bilang tugon. Iniwan niya na ang mga ito na marahil sabay-sabay na naikiling ang ulo sa pagkadismaya sa kanyang tugon bago ito sumunod sa kanya sa mesa.

He was trying so hard not to glimpse at Heather but he ends up kidding himself. The moment he arrived at the table, he was gawking at her like he never reminded himself that Heather was off limits. f**k, if there's anything he can't control then it's how the way he acts when it comes to Heather. Kapag malapit ito ay nawawalan siya ng control sa sarili. His eyes would automatically tum on her well-being, afraid that he might lose his cool and surrender to temptation one day.

Muling napasulyap si Jackson kay Heather at husto ang pagtama ng kanilang mga mata. He felt his world went slow mo and every blink Heather made as she talked with her friends left a tugged in his heart. Napasipat siya sa tila kulay-rosas nitong labi at napalunok bago ibinalik ang mga mata sa kabuuan ng dalaga.

Damn, if he only felt that attraction from a meter away in between them then he will bet his entire career as a lawyer. He was certain that his friends are wrong about Heather's feelings toward him. It was all about body language and he perfected learning it. Pinag-aralan nila iyon sa kolehiyo. The way Heather looked at him is the same way he looked at her. Wistful. Nostalgic. Sentimental. They are attracted to each other but they were holding back. No matter what Heather said, no matter how she denies it or what he does, he knew that it was more than being acquainted. An undeniable spark.

They were invisibly bound with a gentle flame. He could feel her motive from a meter away as he is to her. He could feel his blood raging as he stare at her and she feels the same, he was sure of it.

He was never been sure all his life.

And that’s why it was so hard for him.

Abala siya sa pagnakaw ng titig kay Heather nang tumunog ang kanyang cell phone bandang alas-onse ng gabi. Agad na tiningnan niya ang mensahe at napabuntong-hininga nang makita niya na galing iyon kay Ivina, ang kasintahan. It was a message saying she was outside the bar and she needed to talk to him. Hindi na siya nagpaalam sa mga abala na kaibigan at dumiretso sa labas para puntahan si Ivina. When he saw her with a furrowed eyebrows, he knew that he did something wrong.

“Hey,” bati ni Jackson sa kasintahan sabay halik sa pisngi nito.

“I recall you saying no to this night out with your friends, Jackson,” ani Ivina sa mariin na tono habang matiin na nakatingin sa kanya.

“Well, I changed my mind,” diretsahang sagot ni Jackson at tinagpo ang mga galit nitong mga mata.

When she slapped him on the cheeks, he didn't flinch... because he expected it. It was Ivina’s way of saying she didn't agree with his ways and that she heard a wrong answer.

Jackson gritted his teeth before looking back at her. “I didn't let you know because I know this is how you react. And I’m not going to say sorry for not telling you because I don't see the reason why you need to use violence. We could have talked it out.”

“What?” tanong ni Ivina sa hindi makapaniwala na tono. “Did you just... did you just defy me? Me who is your long time girlfriend. We had an agreement, Jackson. You are not allowed to hang out with your friends without my permission.”

“Alam mo ba kung bakit hindi ako nagpaalam ulit? Kasi alam kong 'di mo naman din ako papayagan,” asik ni Jackson sabay natawa makalipas ang ilang segundo nang makitang nagtagis ang panga ni Ivina. “You know what, I’m sick with your attitude, Ivina. Instead of joining me inside and hang out with my friends, you prefer to be a sadist. I am human, Ivina. I can be inflicted with pain too. And for the past years, I endure it for you... because I loved you. Please, don't give me a reason to let you go.”

“No matter what I do, when you really love me, you will endure it, Jackson. You won’t do anything that would make me mad. And when I said no, don't ever think of disregarding me. The last time you did that, I remember you begging me to take you back...” tugon ni Ivina sabay duro nang mariin sa kanyang dibdib. “And I did. I have heard every wail you did, every please you said, saw every tear that crawled from your eyes because you can’t live without me. I did it because you want me back.”

“And I regretted it,” sansala ni Jackson para matigilan si Ivina sa kinatatayuan.

“What?” she asked, irritation and disbelief was in her tone.

“I want you back, yes. But you didn't want the same,” dugtong ni Jackson at hindi na napigilan ang luha na tumulo sa kanyang mga mata. “And I regretted it because you have taken me for granted. I love you, Ivina, I really do. There’s not a time I didn't even if I didn't deserve to be treated this way. But I have been saving this relationship by myself and I don't think it was worth it anymore. I have enjoyed every moment with you even if it weighs less than your white heat. But I can't do it anymore, Ivina. Naaawa na ako sa sarili ko sa tuwing naalala ko kung gaano ako nasasaktan sa piling mo. I can't be like this forever with you.”

Hindi sumagot si Ivina kundi malakas na sampal muli ang ibinigay nito. “You beg for me once, you will beg for me again. I will give you months to do that. And if you do, you know where to find me. I know how much you love me, Jackson. As you say, you can’t find someone like me.”

Dahil sa mga kataga na iyon ay hindi na napigilan ni Jackson ang paghikbi. Every words that came from her mouth was true. The longer she utter those words, the more his heart break. Dahil doon ay hindi niya na napigilan ang sunod-sunod na paghikbi sa harap nito. Just like between them, it was only him who show his weakness in their relationship.

Humakbang palapit si Ivina at inilapit ang bibig sa kanyang tainga. “I am the only me, bear that in mind, Jackson Cruz. If this is the game you want to play, I’m in. You will lose and you will beg for me again.”