Chapter 12 – The Alpha’s Confession
1124 Words
Lucien’s POV
THE STEADY beep of the monitor was the only sound in the room when I stepped inside. The scent of antiseptic clung to the air, sharp and sterile, yet beneath it lingered something softer—her scent. Celina’s. Even now, lying pale against the hospital bed, tethered to wires and straps, she radiated the stubborn defiance that made my wolf restless.
My steps slowed without conscious thought. I had imagined this moment too many times over the past few hours—her eyes closed, her breathing too shallow. I’d been seconds away from losing her. And not just her.
The nurse moved past me quietly, murmuring something about the baby’s heartbeat being strong, but I barely heard her. My gaze was locked on Celina. She looked fragile, but I knew better. Fragile things broke easily. Celina didn’t. She fought even when I didn’t deserve it.
Still, my fingers itched to touch her, just to reassure myself she was here. Alive.
I stopped at the side of her bed. My hand hovered over hers, the heat of her skin a whisper away, but I didn’t close the distance. Not yet. I’d hurt her enough without adding the weight of my touch when she might not want it.
Her eyes opened slowly, focusing on me.
I should’ve spoken first, but for a moment I just stood there, taking her in. The shadows under her eyes. The faint crease between her brows that always deepened when she was annoyed—or worried.
Finally, I forced the words out. “I should’ve protected you.” My voice sounded rough even to me. “But I don’t know how to love what I might lose.”
It wasn’t rehearsed. It wasn’t planned. It was the truth, stripped bare.
Her lips parted slightly, but before she could speak, the door swung open again.
Rhys.
Of course. My Beta didn’t knock when it came to her. His gaze swept the room, landing on Celina, then on me. His jaw tightened.
“What the hell happened out there?” he demanded, striding closer. “She almost—” He cut himself off, but the fury in his voice was enough to finish the sentence.
“She’s fine,” I said, keeping my tone level.
Rhys’s eyes flashed, wolf glint just beneath the surface. “Fine? You call this fine? Lucien, you dragged her into this mess. You—”
“Careful,” I warned, my own wolf rising, voice dropping low.
He stepped closer, close enough that the tension in the air thickened, our wolves testing the boundary between challenge and obedience. “I’ve followed you into battles, I’ve bled for you. But if your pride puts her in danger again—”
“That’s enough,” I snapped, the Alpha command curling under the words.
Rhys’s nostrils flared, but he bit back whatever else he wanted to say. Still, his glare lingered on me for a heartbeat too long before he turned to Celina, his tone softening. “You need anything, you call me. Don’t wait for him to figure out what matters.”
My jaw clenched, but I didn’t stop him from brushing his hand lightly against her arm before leaving.
When the door closed, the silence between us shifted.
Celina’s gaze was unreadable, but I could feel her pulling away in ways that had nothing to do with physical distance.
“You didn’t have to silence him,” she said quietly. “He’s right.”
The words shouldn’t have landed the way they did. I’d been challenged before, accused before. But not by her. Not like this.
I exhaled slowly, dragging a chair to the side of the bed and sitting down. My elbows rested on my knees, my hands clasped loosely between them. “You want the truth?”
Her eyes searched mine. “Yes.”
For a moment, I looked at the floor. Because if I looked at her while I said this, I wasn’t sure I’d get through it. But then I forced my gaze back up. She deserved that much.
“My first mate—” The words stuck in my throat for a second. Even after all these years, they cut deep. “Her name was Maris. We were mated at twenty-two. She was… everything. Strong. Clever. Stubborn as hell.”
Celina’s expression didn’t change, but I saw the way her fingers tightened around the blanket.
“She got pregnant two years later. We thought—” I broke off, pressing my lips together. The memories came in shards, jagged and merciless. “We thought it would be perfect. But the pregnancy was hard. Complications from the start. And the night she went into labor… something went wrong.”
I swallowed hard. “The healer said it was too fast. Too much blood. They couldn’t save them. I lost them both within minutes.”
The beeping of the monitor was suddenly too loud. My voice dropped, the next words barely audible. “I held her hand while she took her last breath. I felt our bond snap. And there’s nothing—nothing—like that pain. You can’t imagine it unless you’ve felt it. It’s like your soul gets ripped in half, and you’re still expected to keep breathing.”
Celina’s gaze softened, but I could see the ache in her eyes.
“So I locked it down,” I continued. “Everything. No bond. No love. No risks. If I didn’t let myself want anything, I couldn’t lose it.”
Her breath hitched, just barely.
“But then you walked into my life.” My eyes locked on hers, unblinking. “And suddenly, I wanted again. You make me want too much. And that terrifies me, Celina. Because if I lose you, it’ll be like dying all over again.”
The truth hung between us, raw and unpolished.
She didn’t speak right away. I didn’t blame her. I’d handed her the ugliest parts of me, the ones I’d buried for years.
Finally, she said, “You can’t protect me by keeping me at arm’s length, Lucien. That’s not protection. That’s punishment—for something I didn’t do.”
The words struck harder than I expected because she was right.
I leaned forward slowly, resting my palm gently on her stomach. The warmth beneath my hand was more than heat—it was life. The fragile, fierce reminder of what we’d made.
“I lost one mate to love,” I said, my voice low, but steady now. “I won’t lose another by not fighting for her.”
Her eyes widened slightly, but I didn’t move my hand. Not yet.
Because for the first time in years, I meant every word.
- Writer
