15
1511 Words
Substitute
That was all I am, all this time. I have seen the red flags, but I chose to ignore it. Hindi ko pinansin ang mga sinabi ng iba. Hindi ko pinansin ang mga tingin nila. Kahit alam ko sa sarili ko na may mali.
Hindi ko siya tinanong, because I trusted him. He made me feel na ako lang. Na I was his world. Hindi pala. I just look like her. Honestly, I did not know how I was able to survive the dinner. I was barely talking.
Sumasagot lamang ako kapag kinakausap nila ako. Pinilit ko kainin lahat ng pagkain na binigay niya kahit halos masuka na ako. Nang maka uwi ako sa bahay, I did not even bother to kiss him.
I smiled at agad ako pumasok sa bahay. He texted me a couple of times pero I did not reply. The moment I woke up, I saw his texts pero I replied to a different person.
I will meet you later at starbucks. Explain everything to me.
My hands were trembling pero wala na akong pake alam. Kailangan ko lang malaman ang totoo. Jolo has been hiding me in the dark for so long. Gusto ko malamang ang lahat. All his lies. All his secrets.
I was eating my cereal when I recieved 2 texts. One from Jolo.
Bub? You have been ignoring me. May nagawa ba ako? Is it because pinilit kita na kainin ang kare kare? Talk to me. Answer my calls. Reply to my messages. Fiona.
So you decided to be free from his bullshits huh. Alright then. I will see you later.
There is no turning back now.
I drove to starbucks. I got inside and looked for the girl who texted me. Sabi niya she was near the window. I immediately saw the girl, she was wearing a red tube top and she paired it with high waist jeans. Her figure was carved because of the high waist jeans she was wearing.
Agad ako pumunta sa pwesto niya. I expected her to look shock or something pero parang kilala niya ang mukha ko. She faced me and smirked.
"Nice to finally meet you" she offered her hand pero tinignan ko lang iyon. She coughed and she placed her hand on top of the table. "I ordered for you already. If that is okay with you" she started. I nodded at her.
"Damn. Are you mute or something?" she raised her eyebrow "Ayaw ko tumagal dito. Just tell me everything you know" she played with her drink while looking at me intently.
"You do look exactly like her. But your eyes are different" naguluhan ako sa sinabi niya "Your eyes. It shouts confidence, but at the same time, it longs for comfort and security"
She chuckled "Sige. Alin ang gusto mo malaman?"
"Everything. Sino si Aiana"
She sighed and she adjusted her position "Aiana Dela Paz, kababata ni Jolo. She was a year younger than him. She was Jolo's first girlfriend, obviously before you. Jolo was inlove with Aiana. And mahal din ni Aiana si Jolo. Well, they both love each other."
"2 years ago. Jolo proposed to Aiana. And she said yes. They were doing good. Walang problema. Walang away. but everything changed 3 nights after Jolo's proposal. Aiana was found dead. She got in a car accident. Pupuntahan niya sana si Jolo during his basketball practice. She was very supportive of him kaya kahit umuulan, pumunta pa din siya. Nahulog sa bangin ang sasakyan ni Aiana."
My hands trembled. Hindi ako makapag salita. He proposed to her? Nakita niya kung paano ako manginig kaya hindi siya agad nakapag salita. I looked at her and told her to continue.
"Tanggap na ng lahat na patay na si Aiana. But Jolo was the only one who has not yet moved on. Aiana's parents moved back to Spain para hindi na maalala ang mga nangyare dito sa pilipinas"
"Paano mo alam ang lahat ng to? Sino ka ba?"
She looked at me and smiled a bit "My name is Emily Dela Paz. I am Aiana's older sister." Napako ako sa upuan ko. She's her sister? Akala ko ba move on na? Bakit siya andito? Mukhang alam niya ata ang nasa isip ko "Nasa bakasyon ako. I visited my sister's grave one time. Kaya nagkita kami ni Tita Rose. She invited me sa wedding anniversary nila. Doon kita nakita. At first glance akala ko ikaw si Aiana pero alam ko na hindi ikaw kasi Aiana had a birth mark behind her ear"
Kaya pala everytime we cuddle, he keeps on touching my ear!
Umuwi na ako sa bahay, hindi ko alam kung paano ko haharapin si Jolo. I am too broke to even look at him. I blocked his number kaya hindi din siya makatawag sa akin.
I finished my night routine when I heard someone banging our gate. Sumilip agad ako sa bintana and I saw Jolo, shouting.
"Fiona! Ano ba! Talk to me!"
Agad agad ako bumaba at hinarap siya. The moment he saw me, agad niya ako niyakap. Kumalas ako sa yakap niya.
He looked confused.
"Jolo. Let us end this"
I was about to go inside when he pulled me back "What the hell is wrong with you. Babe if this is about that f*****g kare kare I am sorry. Hindi ko na ipipilit sa iyo"
"Why did you tho" kahit ako hindi ko nakilala ang sarili kong boses. It was colder than ice
"W-what?"
"Why did you force me to eat it"
"Kasi I cooked it babe. Gusto ko lang ipatikim sayo ang luto ko. Baka sakali magustuhan mo"
"You know my favorite food is adobo hindi ba. So bakit hindi adobo ang niluto mo?"
Nabitawan niya ang braso ko. I raised my eyebrow. I tried to look tough. Kahit alam ko anytime, babagsak na ako.
"Babe"
"Aiana"
I saw how he stilled. I smirked. So he does know. "Does that name ring a bell, Jolo?"
"P-paano"
I showed him my phone, it was a picture of her. He looked terrified. "We do look a like. Kaya pala ang bilis mo ma in love sa akin. Kaya pala sobrang alaga mo."
"Fiona let me-"
"That is why you almost made me her? Tama ba? Balak mong buhayin ulit si Aiana gamit ako" I know my word pierced right through him.
He grabbed my hand pero agad ko ito tinulak "Do not touch me!"
Tears began falling from my eyes "I am not her Jolo! Hindi ako si Aiana!" I shouted all my frustrations out
"Baby. Baby I know" his eyes started to water as well. He tried his best to hold me pero I keep pushing him away.
"Then why? You unknowlingly force me to be Aiana! Jolo, ayaw ko na. Please. All this time. Ginawa mo lang akong substitute ng ex fiance mo"
I saw how his eyes widened. I smirked. He was about to touch my cheek when I forcefully wiped my tears away. "News flash Mr. Bustamante, hindi ako ang patay mong fiance. Kaya paki usap. Spare me all the lies! Let me go. I do not want to be her double body anymore. I am tired of pretending to be someone I am not. You told me that before hindi ba?"
I cried my heart out, "You said, for once, try ko maging totoo sa sarili ko. Jolo, whenever I am with you, you make me feel like I am myself. I am free to be myself. To do stupid things. Pero tangina! You decieved me! All this time, you loved me, because I look exactly like her. You loved me, because all this time, you think of me as her!"
He was silent, he tried to go near me but everytime he steps towards me, I step back
"No more please. Ayaw ko na Jolo. Let me breathe please"
I ran inside the gate at agad sinara ito. I was about to go inside the house when I heard him yelling
"Won't you listen to my explanation?" he was crying
"What is it there to explain?"
He laughed, he brushed his hair "Guess not"
Pumasok ako sa loob ng bahay. I clenched my chest. It hurts so much. Ang mga tawa niya, ang mga ngiti niya. Para pala kay Aiana ang lahat ng iyon.
"My love for you"
I heard him shout
"I admit, I did think of you as Aiana. But my heart, my heart fell for Fiona. My love for you was real. I know nasaktan kita. Pero mahal kita, Fiona. Mahal na mahal kita. I am sorry for hurting you, my love"
I was covering my mouth, suppressing my sobs. I heard his car leaving. Agad ako lumabas ng bahay. Nakita ko ang sasakyan niya, unti unti itong nawawala sa paningin ko.
This is it
I am free at last
Hinawakan ko ang tiyan ko
"It is just going to be you and me, my love"
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Happy reading, my Aella's
xoxo,
cyleaor
- Writer
