Forgiveness For My Dark Angel: Angels of the Apocalypse # 2

7: Angles Aren't Much Better

Time seemed to speed up on me. Amy visited with food and supplies for the Colony, we’d go for walks in the chilly winter air. It only snowed a few more times on us, but we did get quite a number of rainy days. Amy rarely visited on those days, so I found them to be the most disappointing. However, as the months passed and spring rolled around, showing itself with the returning birds and plantlife and warming days, my little outings that left me with flushed cheeks and a happy grin began to garner attention. Especially from the guards.

“Oh-ho, sneaking out to see your mystery lovere again?” One guard sneered, blocking my way as I tried to exit the gates one cool spring morning.

“I am off to forage and meet a friend. My chores get done, what business is it of yours where I spend my time so long as I’m contributing?” I replied sharply, trying to side-step him

“It becomes my business when it endangers the colony.” He snapped back. I gaped.

“Nothing I have done endangered the colony. In fact, my acquaintance has been able to help me in my foraging efforts, because he knows plants better than I.” I argued.

“Uh huh, sure. And why doesn’t your mystery companion ever come inside? Why not move here or you move with him?” He spat.

“Laurel.” Amy’s voice interrupted from the other side of the gate. It was calm, but still had a chilling effect to it, and the guard in front of me froze. “Are you alright?” I leaned to the side to look at Amy through the barbed wire.

“Yeah, I’m fine. This guard here was just concerned I might be getting myself in trouble out there, and decided to check on me for my safety.” I smirked at the guard, who had straightened and moved a step to the side. “He was wondering why you don’t ever come in. Would you like to?” My grin widened as the guard looked Amy over to see how threatening he might be. To be fair, Amy was almost too ‘pretty’ to look scary, but yet, when he was angry, there was this aura around him that would make most sensible people keep their heads down.

“I thought we were foraging today.” Amy responded carefully, still eyeing the guard with a dangerous look in his eye. “I don’t want to lose too much light.”

“Yeah, don’t wanna lose the light.” The guard echoed weakly. Amy sneered.

“However, if you feel I should come in and introduce myself..” Amy’s attention wandered to me, but the threat was clear.

“No, no, that won’t be necessary! Have a good time!” The guard yelled for her help and the two men pulled the iron bar out of the ground to swing open the gate, ushering me through quickly. Amy extended his hand and I reached out and grabbed it as soon as I was within distance. He pulled me under his arm against his body, casting an angry glare over his shoulder, and together we walked away from the colony and the harsh voices of the men exchanging words.

When we had gotten a distance away, Amy sighed.

“Well, I had wanted to make this a pleasant day for you..” He veered off suddenly, tugging me along. “Might as well make the best of it, I guess..” He led me into a clearing where tiny flowers had just started to open among soft, deep blue-green grass. I wanted desperately to take my shoes off and walk barefoot amongst it all, but Amy distracted me with an apologetic look and a flourish as he revealed a blanket and lunch spread out waiting for us.

I couldn’t suppress the squeal that worked its way out of my throat and giddily raced to the blanket, kicking off my shoes at its edge.

Amy’s meals were the best. He always went above and beyond, had so many options and things I hadn’t had in years. I perused the offerings of sandwiches and sides, nearly dying when I came to a glass dome covering a serving tray of brownies.

“Ok, I totally love you for this!” I blurted, racing to give him a kiss before diving back towards the food. He held me to him by the back of the neck, though, surprising me and making my Mark erupt with little jolts of electricity.

“You loved me already.” Amy murmured, a small quirk to his lips.

“True.” I conceded.

“I.. visited with my friend Stolas again..” He massaged the back of my head with his fingers.

“Did you have a good time?” I asked, not sure what he expected me to say. Amy looked away from me, his gaze going distant.

“That visit, combined with today’s incident just furthurs my resolve.” Amy stated quietly, as if he hadn’t heard me.

“Ok.. for what?” I pointedly tried to bring his attention back to me.

“Laurel.. The reason I set this whole thing up.. Only I wanted to do it better than this.” He scoffed to himself. Abruptly, his gaze met mine intently.

“Laurel, will you come live with me?” Amy had never been serious like this with me. My heart stopped.

“Are.. are you sure? Won’t I.. lead you astray?” I tried to look away from him, but he used a knuckle to gently tilt my face back towards him.

“I don’t honestly know. But what I do know, is that my friend and his love gave birth to a Nephilim. That’s going to attract attention. Worse, it puts him and those closest to him in danger. Homeworld will try to kill his family and associates. Demons will try to recruit him, using any means necessary, even if it means tactics involving his loved ones. Failing that, they will kill him and his family and all that surround him.” Amy explained solemnly.

“So, you’re in danger because you’re his friend.” I whispered. Amy nodded, a single slow dip of the head that showed how worried he was.

“Not only that, I’m afraid. I fear they may use you to get to me, because you are Marked as mine, and I do not keep you close enough to protect you..” Amy informed me quietly, but something else had occurred to me.

“Amy, how does this affect your chances of forgiveness? Of getting back home?” I asked, horrified. He winced, searching above my head for a moment or two.

“I’m not.. We’re not certain. But there is a larger issue at stake as well. If we don’t want to get drawn into this war, fighting one side or the other, having our family or friends drawn in as well.. We may have to form our own little rebel faction that answers to neither side.” Amy let his hand drop, and with it, my heart fell as well.

“So that means..”

“I will probably never make it back home.” Amy stated regretfully. I felt tears spring to my eyes on his behalf. This was just wrong. He was being kept from so many things! He couldn’t love, couldn’t go home, couldn’t just live his life peacefully!

“It’s ok Laurel, I’m used to it.” He wiped the tears from my cheeks.

“Did I say that out loud?” I swallowed hard and he smiled weakly.

“Yeah. But I think I’m done waiting around for impossible things.” Amy leaned in and gently kissed me. “If my choices are always going to land me on the wrong side of someone who threatens my life and that of the woman I love.. I’m not waiting anymore. I’m not giving up whatever time we have together for fear of punishment, knowing there’s more than one sword hanging over our heads.”

“What does that mean for us, exactly?” I asked, searching his face.

“I don’t entirely know.” He laughed, kissing away another tear. “I suppose we let it work itself out, but I’m not leaving everything up to fate. So what do you say? Will you move in?” His tone was light and teasing, but I could sense the undercurrent of nervousness and fear. I offered him a big grin.

“It's something I’ve wanted for a long time. Of course I will!” I enthused, but despite the fact that Amy relaxed visibly and started chatting with me on  inconsequential matters, the tightness in my chest didn’t ease. I could feel the anxiety nearly stifling him as he plucked a brownie from the serving dish.

“Normally I’d encourage you to eat something healthier first, but since we’re celebrating..” He brought the decadent chocolate square to my mouth, but I pulled back slightly.

“There’s something else, isn’t there?” I murmured. Amy chuckled, dropping the hand holding the brownie to his lap along with his eyes. He ran his free hand through his hair, tugging it absently out of his face.

“Blasted Mark gave me away, didn’t it?” He sighed before meeting my gaze again.

“It’s really nothing. It was a thought Stolas had, horrible really. What’s worse is I’m not escaping the fallout from his decisions.” Amy had begun to pull apart the brownie in his lap absently, his eyes settling on the crumbs as they fell. “I don’t know what to do, but I do know what I don’t want to do..”

“Then don’t do it.” I interjected, and Amy’s head jerked up. “Amy, if there’s one thing I’ve learned about you, you have remarkable instincts. If you feel like something is wrong, don’t do it. I’ll support you, if it helps any.” I waved a hand briefly, then grimaced, but Amy leaned forward and pulled me into a hug.

“It does help. Thank you.” Amy mumbled next to my ear.

“Hey, are you getting brownie in my hair?” I demanded. Amy laughed.

“Way to ruin a moment Laurel!”

I had wanted to just go directly with Amy to his home, but that isn’t what happened. With flushed cheeks, I reentered the colony, luckily to a new guard. I went about my duties for the next several days, packed what I wanted to keep, and stared at the walls in between times.

I got more anxious as the time went on with no sign of Amy’s return for me. Had I unwittingly told him to leave me behind when I told him to do what made him feel right? Worse were the feelings haunting me through our connection. Panic, anger, fear, anxiety, pain. Sometimes Amy cycled through them so quickly, I couldn’t keep up. Other times, the depth of them were enough to knock the breath out of me, rending me speechless or waking me up at night. I sent out little desperate prayers for his safety, which was ironic, after so many years of believing any Divine being that might have been looking out for us had abandoned us.

And then, just as suddenly one day, I was called to the gate. Confused, I followed the pre-teen who’d been sent to fetch me. It wasn’t Amy at the gate, of that I was sure. I couldn’t feel him anywhere near me.

“There’s someone here to see you!” The guard yelled as I hurried along behind the kid. He skipped off with a quick wave at the guard, and I looked beyond him, trying to see who was visiting me.

“Who is it?” I called back, seeing no one.

“Says he’s a friend of your lover.” The guard returned, shrugging. I blushed.

“We aren’t technically..”

“Look, I don’t care. This guy is some bigshot, brought a ton of stuff for the colony. Honestly, I think he’s one of them.” The guard’s eyes glazed over. I recoiled.

“A Demon?” I whispered. HIs attention snapped back to me and he grabbed my wrist to stop me from backing any further away.

“Of course not. If there are Demons, then there have to be their opposites, yeah? I think that’s what he is.” The guard began pulling me towards the gate. I yanked my wrist, trying to get free. “So be a good girl and play nice with the pretty boy.”

“Angels don’t usually have genders.” I muttered. The guard threw an angry glare over his shoulder.

“Just stop dragging your feet! Everything he’s done-he just wants to talk to ya in exchange. Said you knew him.” The gate was already opening as we approached, but I couldn’t see anyone on the other side.

“Wait! This seems like a trap, don’t you think? Something about this feels wrong! Where is the guy? You can’t just throw me out there-!” But throw me he did, even as I protested. I stumbled, the force of being flung by my arm through the open gate finally sending me to my hands and knees. “Ow! Dickhead!” I complained as the impact made my palms sting and knees ache.

“My my, what language. I hope you weren’t referring to me.” Said a soothing voice. A hand descended in front of my face. “Would you care for a hand up?” I looked up, and up, at the tall, stupidly attractive man in front of me. Shoulder length light brown hair, the top pulled back in a small bun, nordic features, tall build, obviously muscular but not excessively so. He was every woman's Viking wet dream. Except for the cruel smile plastered on his face. I scrambled backwards, shoving myself to my feet.

“No thanks, I’m good.” I replied, brushing my hands and knees off and picking pebbles out of my skin. The Viking retracted his hand slowly and hummed softly as he placed that hand in a pocket of his worn denims. At least he tried to semi-blend.

“So you’re Amy’s Marked.” He mused, looking me up and down. I recoiled yet again. “Oh, don’t be like that, although..” He was suddenly in my personal space, circling me. He ran his nose up the side of my neck, making me jump forward several steps.

“Just as I thought. He Marked you, but he hasn’t bothered to do much else with you, has he? He’s not impregnated you, or enslaved you, hasn’t even drained your soul dry. Why’s he keeping you?” The Viking purred, advancing on me. I backed away swiftly.

“I won’t, that is to say.. We agreed not to risk his chances of salvation.” I mumbled. My heel struck a rock and I nearly fell again, spinning around with my arms out to catch myself. Unfortunately, it was the Viking that caught me. He chuckled cruelly.

“His.. salvation? Oh you mean re-entering Heaven when he’s served his term in Hell. Yeah, no. That’s not likely to ever happen. Poor thing’s confused. Just because he was sentenced to a particular number of years to serve, doesn’t mean he’ll ever be allowed to come back Home. It just means he won’t be confined to Hell anymore. I.e., he can choose not to be a Demon in Hell. He’ll still be Fallen.” The Viking smirked.

“W-What’s the difference?” I stammered, momentarily forgetting to try to pull myself free.

“Hmm, not much really. In one case he can serve Hell, in the other, he can be in an unfortunate Limbo of serving both. Like Azrael.  But honestly, don’t you think that him leaving Hell and coming here violates the terms of his punishment?” The Viking’s grin grew wider and more malicious.

“That’s sick. How could you?” I whispered. There was no way for Amy to win. The Viking’s expression hardened and his grip on me tightened.

“You’re just a human! How dare you judge things above your understanding?!” He shook me and I yelped, trying harder to pull from his grasp. My head snapped back and forth on my neck like a ragdoll’s, and I clenched my teeth for fear of biting off my own tongue.

“Let. Go!” I spat through gritted teeth, and suddenly, he did. Letting me crumple  to the ground dizzily, he advanced on me again.

“Listen here, you human worm. We have no use for you, do you understand? The only thing that matters to us in this situation is your womb. You find a way to get Amy to impregnate you and you birth a Nephilim to fight for our cause, and we’ll forgive your trespass of aligning yourself with Hell.” The Viking snarled, bending over me. He straightened abruptly and flipped a hand in the air, offering me a snide sneer. “Hell, if you manage to bring us more than one, we may actually forgive your Amy after all.” I stared at him in shock, then forced my aching body to my feet once more.

“Never.” I growled. The Viking glared at me murderously.

“What did you say?” He grit out. I took a step closer to him.

“Obviously Heaven doesn’t offer hearing aids with their medical program, so I’ll say it louder for you. NOT ON YOUR LIFE.” Before the last word could fully leave my lips, I was backhanded and wasn’t even aware my feet had left the ground until I landed several feet away. Stunned, and suddenly scared, with my ears ringing and the taste of blood on my tongue, I rolled to my hands and knees.

“Such disrespect.” Tsked the Viking. I could almost feel his footsteps reverberating in the ground as he paced slowly towards me. I crawled forward dizzily, but the steps kept following, eating up the ground I was having a hard time gaining. By the time the Viking grabbed the hair on the back of my head, I had just about resigned myself to my fate.

“Amy.” I whimpered softly before a sob could escape me, imbuing the one word with all my love and hopes for him.

“There’s no use calling for him now. He’ll just have to find another womb while we try some other options we’ve been keeping an eye on.” The Viking sneered. He lifted me off the ground by my hair and I nearly retched from the pain.

“Goodbye, Amy.” I whispered, finally allowing myself to cry tears of regret.