Forgiveness For My Dark Angel: Angels of the Apocalypse # 2

6: Bears Are Just Bears

Only one person commented on my blush, and I quickly shut the guard down as I walked past. That night, as I lay on my freezing mattress in the women’s hall, I could still feel Amy inside my chest. His emotions flowed through me, sometimes swiftly, sometimes lingering, but I could always tell when he was thinking of me. Warmth blossomed in my chest and my Mark tingled like it was awakening. I held my hands clasped over my chest in those moments, trying to hold onto the sensation for as long as I could. I hoped he could feel me sending my love back towards him. Maybe then he wouldn’t feel so lonely.

Going about my chores the next few days was distracting. A sudden burst of anger from Amy would unsettle me, or I’d find myself giggling as laughter seized control of me that wasn’t mine. There was definitely an adjustment period to the Mark, and a bit of a learning curve to pushing Amy’s emotions out of my own head and heart. He felt everything so strongly.

It was all worth it though, for those glowing moments of warmth. That, and the day I somehow knew he was coming to see me.

I was like an eager puppy, waiting at the gates before he even got close. But once my eyes confirmed the flash of strawberry blond behind a tree, I practically climbed the guardsmen trying to get past them and the gates to get out. I sloshed my way through the melting slush towards the treeline where I’d seen Amy last, drawn by the feeling of my Mark burning even stronger. The joy in my heart buoying me up wasn’t just mine. I felt like I could practically fly. Everything seemed brighter, clearer, more intense.

Amy’s arms abruptly shot out and grabbed me from behind a tree.

“Turn it down, will ya? You’re going to give us away, you’re like a beacon. Hell.” Amy cupped the back of my neck and I simultaneously froze and saw my surroundings dim. Amy chuckled as I gaped, his laughter and amusement so much stronger now that he was so close. I would soak in this feeling, this emotion, if allowed. I felt an answering smile on my face and Amy’s hand tightened slightly. “Damn. Your soul is bright.”

“I.. uh, you mean that was me? Was I glowing?” I tried to spin out of his grip, but only managed a half turn before Amy had clamped his hand tightly over my nape again.

“Oh Hell.” He moaned. “Stop moving, please. It calls to me. I just want to feed.” Amy swallowed so hard I could hear it, but he didn’t expect me to meet his eyes calmly, take his wrist, pull down my hood and slowly slide my hair aside. The light intensified, as did the draw between us. I saw Amy’s throat work, his eyes slowly became stained with black.

“Then feed. I’m offering you some of my energy. I want you to be healthy. I want to do something for you, you’ve done so much for me. For us, the colony.. I.. want to be closer to you. However I can.” I barely got the words out before Amy had gripped me by the shoulders. He spun me so my back was fully against him and wrapped one arm around my ribs, the other barred across my sternum so he could grip my shoulder. And then his lips touched the Mark, and I let the world go.

I felt the draw from the Mark like roots spreading through my body. They touched everything, digging deeper until.. A suge as the energy within me was pulled up this root system. I was shocked by the first tug, but by the second, I had yielded, tossing what I was at the filaments spread within my body. They sparked and lit up, overloaded, the backflow pulling me under and flooding me with heat. In my mind’s eye, the sparking, tingling warmth became like Amy’s fingers travelling over my skin. 

I let the fantasy play out in my head. Amy’s fingers feathering over my skin, the feel of his lips on my neck, my shoulder. One hand gliding down over my stomach to slip between my thighs, the other gently caressing a breast. A nip of pain below my earlobe coinciding with the rubbing of my clit. His warmth spooning up behind me. Every place he touches tingling with warmth. His thighs caging mine ever so slightly, I can feel the warmth of his chest against my back, and that’s not all. That impossible erection, throbbing between us. Amy crouching slightly and pulling one of my legs up a little, then slipping his arousal between my legs before straightening most of the way. He doesn’t have to tell me to squeeze my legs together, I’m already doing it, and rocking my hips over a girth that seems impossible, and a length that allows me to rub my clit deliciously over the head with each thrust. Still, Amy’s fingers come back to stroke my clit and I orgasm, though I try to hold it back. And then he’s spinning us, making me place my hands on the tree at his back as he finally allows himself inside me. I’m not over my first orgasm, so my body reacts with extreme sensitivity. I whimper as his arousal passes over my g-spot, and give a small shocked cry as it bumps up against my cervix. 

“Please, Amy..” I beg, though I don’t know what I’m begging for. He does, apparently. He starts to move, taking it easy at first, his fingers returning to strum my clit. And then he’s going faster, pounding into me. His length stretching and touching everything, bottoming out until everything in me is tensed so hard I’m nearly in tears. Just when I think I can’t take any more, the orgasm explodes through me, and the scream I was choking on dies in my throat, held silent as my muscles lock in place. I hear a goan. Is Amy climaxing? I can’t tell. No.. wait..

I was ripped from my fantasy abruptly. The groaning was real. Amy held me tightly, the exchange of energy had slowed, but the lust between us had spiked to impossible levels. I was burning from the inside, my clit throbbing. The orgasm had been real. I could feel the after-effects still pulsing through me. I was soaked.

But Amy’s reaction left me unsteady. He was breathing hard, a soft growl rattled out of him and I was pretty sure he had his teeth in my neck. The energy draw tapered off until it slowed to a stop. Meanwhile, his hands tightened on me, sharp nails digging in through layers of clothes to still somehow jab at me.

And behind me, oh dear God, pressed into my back..

That throbbing..

Oh he was definitely excited. Had I gone too far? Had my little fantasy pushed him over the edge somehow?

“Laurel.” His voice seemed to come not from his throat, but all around me. “I’m going to release you, and I need you to run, as fast as you can, back to the colony.” Amy instructed. His grip on me tightened momentarily before he practically threw me away from himself. I took a few stumbling, running steps away and happened to look over my shoulder at Amy. He stood there in a defeated posture, shoulders slumped, head down, arms hanging loosely. His hair hid his face, and I.. just couldn’t leave him.

I stopped running and turned around, staring.

“Go Laurel.” Amy whispered, and though I was several feet away, his voice carried.

“I refuse.” I answered. His head snapped up and solid black eyes met mine.

“Go now!” He roared.

“No.” I stated firmly, crossing my arms. Amy’s hands clenched, his whole body stiffening, muscles taught, sharp teeth bared.

“Don’t you understand? You are in danger! I am in danger!” In a blink he was right there in front of me, one hand cupped my face as he leaned in close to my opposite ear. “The temptation you present is too great.” In a disturbing move, he licked up the side of my neck. “I want to consume you. To f**k you. To take and own every part of you. Damn the consequences. I want to have you in every way possible, even if it means I never see an end to my punishment. Because right now..” Amy drew in a shuddering breath. “Right now, it would be worth it.” He released me just as abruptly as he had grabbed me, backing off several paces to stare away from me into the trees.

“But you won’t.” I said simply. He spun to face me again.

“What’s wrong with you? What ever makes you think that? I’m a Demon! A Fallen Angel! There’s a reason for my-” I cut off his rant by placing a gentle hand on his chest.

“What you feel, I feel. You’re so much better than that, Amy. If you were such a monster, would you have warned me off and let me go? The emotions inside you are all churned up, I know. There are the things you want, but the person you are at your core.. He trumps all.” I moved closer to Amy, and he stiffened, but despite the raging lust and fear on the surface of his emotions, I knew what I said was true. I could feel it, the undercurrent of his emotions, his drive to protect me. His love, the love that easily ran rampant over every other emotion.

“Laurel..” He groaned. And this time, instead of the wild, frenzied lust of a Demon, I could feel it change into the slow simmering lust driven by love. Love so strong it nearly knocked me off my feet as it came through our unique bond. The love of an Angel. “What if you’re wrong?” He whispered, but I fell to my knees in front of him. I wasn’t worthy of his love. It was too powerful, too strong. No wonder it was banned. This kind of love could change worlds. I curled my hand against my own chest like it had been burned, bowing over it as if to protect it. Silent tears hit the messy, sloppy ground.

“I’m not.” I choked out. “I’m not..” I barely stopped myself from rocking back and forth, but cradled my arm close to my chest regardless. I tried to hold up a mirror in my mind to show Amy what I saw in him, but it was too blinding, and I gasped a breath desperately.

“Laurel.” Amy murmured. When had he crouched down in front of me? When had he taken hold of my upper arms? I offered him a weak smile.

“I don’t deserve you.” I croaked. “Your kind were right to ban relationships between us.” Amy’s face fell. He stood up swiftly, pulling me with him so fast I got dizzy. He yanked me against his chest.

“No.” Amy spat. “They were wrong. Are wrong. I’m not too good for you Laurel, that’s ridiculous! Xenophobic? Speciesist? I don’t know. Either way, it’s wrong. You were made for me, Laurel. You’re perfect! Your energy, your soul calls to me. You happily feed me, understand me.. We met before the world fell apart, and bonded over flowers and books of all things! Even your name is a flower! It’s like every move I’ve ever made has driven me towards you. No. I refuse to believe that something this powerful is wrong.” I craned my head back to look at him as he finished speaking.

“Do you mean that?” I breathed.

“With every fiber of my being.” Amy responded with a determined look. As if to prove his point, he lifted my chin and let his lips meet mine in a scorching kiss. But to me it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself than me. I sighed and melted into the kiss anyway. I would happily take whatever part of Amy he felt he could give, even if it meant I spent my life alone, trailing after him like a lost puppy until I died, faithfully loving him from afar.

Amy suddenly spun us, pushing my back against a tree. His mouth left mine to trail kisses from the corner of my lips down my neck. I moaned involuntarily and let my head fall back.

“Why are you sad, Laurel?” Amy murmured against my skin. I jolted. Somehow, I had forgotten our bond went both ways.

“I’m not sad.. So much as resigned, I guess.” I replied honestly. Amy straightened to look down into my eyes.

“That’s an odd reaction to have to a confession of love.” Amy snorted, trying to lighten the mood. I smiled weakly and reached up to touch his cheek. He leaned into the gesture, kissing my palm, and I nearly melted all over again.

“It wasn’t because of that.” I said softly. “It’s just.. You know I would follow you anywhere? As long as I am able? Even if you decided we could never be together, I would stay by your side. I’ll never.. Love.. anyone else, Amy.” I confessed quietly. His eyes filled with some unfathomable emotion and he jerked me forward, into his arms.

“I would never play with your emotions like that.” He mumbled into my hair. A statement I found ironic, because wasn’t he already doing so? I nodded, however, and hugged him back.

“Come on, let’s go for a walk or something. I didn’t come out here to see you to be all depressed.” I teased. Amy slowly let me go, except for my hand, which he held tightly.

“Alright, but I lead. The ground is all wet and I don’t need you getting sick or destroying your clothes in the muck.” He used a light tone, but I heard the concern behind the comment.

“Agreed.” I laughed, gripping his arm. “Lead on.” And he did, and as we walked, he pointed out various kinds of winter-hardy plants, some of which he made a special point to tell me were edible. We talked about life before the ‘Demon Apocalypse’ and he told stories of his life before that. I couldn’t fathom everything he’d seen in two thousand years.

“You look good for your age.” I joked as we neared the colony gates again.

“I have led an exceptionally exemplary life, leading to a complexion as flawless as my soul.” He quipped, tossing his hair over his shoulder. Although it was supposed to be funny, I knew somewhere in my heart that there was also some truth to the first part of the statement. He had been so afraid he’d never see his home again.. Still was, if truth be told.

“Well Mr. Flawless, I really must leave you here. Unless you want me to move in with you.” I elbowed his side and instead of the reaction I expected, Amy looked surprised, and then thoughtful. “I was only joking Amy! I don’t think either of us are ready for that!” I stammered quickly.

“Right..” He murmured, still looking thoughtful. I hadn’t meant to pressure him, but I was afraid I’d do more damage if I kept talking, so I stood on tiptoe and darted a quick kiss to his cheek before slipping away swiftly.

However, Amy caught me in a few steps, pulling me back. In a nimble move, he turned me and tilted my head so he could capture my lips with his own.

“Don’t leave without saying goodbye.” He breathed against my lips.

“Yeah..” I answered, foggy-headed. “Sorry.” And with a stupid grin, I reentered the colony to try to go about my life for a few more days until Amy visited again.