Confessions of a Bachelor

CHAPTER 6

Greg and Karen agreed to meet outside a local mall in town. When he arrived, Karen was already there waiting for him. Her face lit up as soon as she saw Greg.

“Greg!” Karen ran on his arms and hugged him excitedly. Greg was taken aback with the gesture because there were a lot of people and he knew that this town is just a small place. People knew almost everyone. People might talk.

Greg immediately distanced himself, then held Karen on her shoulders.

“Hi Karen. We should be careful. You’re a teacher and your students might see you.”

Karen laughed then held his hands.

“It’s alright. I’m your girlfriend, you are my boyfriend, I don’t think they’d find it weird.”

“Are you sure it’s okay?”

“Yes, of course.” Then they started walking toward the mall, holding hands.

“I thought that since you are a teacher and a single at that, you won’t like being seen with a man.”

“Come on Greg, people here are open-minded. It’s normal to see a man and a woman walking together as long as they are not into an elicit affair. They’d talk if they see me holding hands with another woman or if they see two men holding hands together. That’s unacceptable.”

Greg suddenly stopped. Karen looked at him, unsure of his reaction.

“Why? Did I say something wrong?”

Greg just chose to let it pass then just shook his head. “Nothing. I just remembered something but it’s really nothing to worry about. He held her hand again then continued to walk toward the center of the mall.

Greg had to admit to himself that he was hurt when he heard Karen said that. He thought that the world was unfair to homosexuals. Then he seriously thought about Steve. What if I hold Steve’s hands while walking in the mall? What would be wrong about it? People must see two people holding hands together and sharing the love that they have. What’s wrong with two people being in love as long as they are not having an elicit affair? These questions crossed his mind while they walking.

They sat when they’ve reached the center where benches were scattered all over. As soon as they settled, Karen noticed that Greg became silent. And she knew that he was thinking about something but she decided not to ask thinking that it was about work.

While still holding hands, Karen moved closer to Greg.

“Greg, I missed you so much. Didn’t you miss me?”

Greg wanted to be honest and tell her that he was busy and didn’t think about anything but work. But he held himself at the last minute and told her what she wanted to hear.

“Of course, I miss you.”

“You didn’t call. You didn’t even text. It’s already more than three months.”

“I was just busy. We always go home late and sleep late that’s why I can’t text ‘coz I don’t wanna wake you up in the middle of the night.” Greg lied.

Greg was actually wondering why he didn’t feel any excitement when he saw Karen. It was weird because he was excited to come here. But as soon as he saw Karen, he was expecting to feel that excitement when you see someone special you haven’t seen for a long time. But he felt nothing special.

“Okay, I forgive you. As your penalty, you have to treat me today to a movie and to dinner.”

Greg laughed with the petty penalty. He really planned to watch movie with Karen and to have dinner with her afterward so he didn’t really see it as a penalty.

“Sure. Let’s go.” He stood and took her hands in his. He looked at Karen and saw love in her eyes. He just smiled and then they walked again going to the 3rd floor of the mall where movie houses were located.

I knew that Karen really loves me. I just don’t know about myself. I’m confused. Now that I’m here, I think of Steve. How happy would Steve be if we watch movie together.

“Hey, why are you spacing out?” Karen nudged him with her elbow.

“Oh nothing. I’m not spacing out. Maybe my mind is just preoccupied with work.”

“Come on. You’re with me. Let’s think of ourselves only when we’re together.”

“Okay. Sorry for that.”

Greg apologized just to silence Karen. He didn’t want to argue with her on something that Karen may not understand. How could he tell her that he was thinking of bringing Steve to a movie house? Then how would she feel if he told her that he imagined himself enjoying the movie with Steve while eating popcorn together. Greg shook his head at the thought. Greg knew that he was not his normal self since he started living with Steve.

They were already seated inside the movie house. It was dark and cold. Greg felt Karen cuddled closer then placed her hand on his chest. Greg remained still and focused on the movie. When Karen felt that Greg was not giving her attention, she intentionally removed her hand from his chest in a manner that caught Greg’s attention. Karen moved a little farther away from Greg. He shot him a glance and wondered why she was behaving that way.

Karen on the other hand thought that Greg was so cold. What’s wrong with him? He has changed a lot. He’s no longer the Greg that I know. The man I loved was warm and sweet. Always excited to hug me. Kissed me whenever there was a chance. And we even enjoyed s*x together! All these were only on her thoughts. But Karen was already having doubts if Greg still loved him.

All throughout the movie, Karen sat silently without looking at Greg. Greg did the same. He watched and actually enjoyed the movie. It was an action film with a touch of romcom. Greg found himself laughing at some scenes and cringed on the romantic kissing scenes.

Finally, when the movie ended, Karen gave a hint that they can sleep together that night if Greg wanted. Karen thought that Greg was cold because he couldn’t even hug or kiss him just like the way they were when they were younger.

“What did you say?” Greg asked.

Karen repeated herself. “You can sleep with me tonight if you want. I’ll bring you to our house and introduce you to my parents.”

Greg was shocked and frightened at the same time. No! I’m not ready to marry yet! Greg knew that if he meets the parents, that would be the start of a more serious relationship. Especially if he slept in their house, her parents would expect him to marry her. No! I just can’t! Greg shouted in his mind. But talked in a very calm manner when he responded to Karen.

“I’m sorry but I have to go home tonight. My parents are expecting me, and they haven’t seen me for a long time also.” He checked his watch, and it was only 6:00 in the evening. “Let’s have dinner then I’ll send you home.”

Karen was sad. She was getting angry with Greg’s coldness. She couldn’t help throwing tantrums and she suddenly burst into tears.

“Hey! What’s wrong?” They were already outside the movie house and Greg was conscious of the people looking their way. He gently dragged Karen on the side and placed his hands on her shoulders. “Why Karen? Did I say anything wrong?”

Karen didn’t speak and waited for her emotions to subside before she finally looked Greg in his eyes then said, “You’ve changed Greg. You are no longer the Greg that I know.”

“You’re mistaken Karen. I didn’t change. I was just telling the truth. My parents are waiting for me.”

“It’s not about that. You’ve been behaving differently since we’ve met earlier. I felt that you were not with me, and your mind was somewhere else.”

Greg was not able to retaliate. He thought about it carefully. Was his mind really wandering somewhere? Hmm...I think I just missed Steve that’s why I was thinking about him. I couldn’t get him out of my mind maybe because I’m used to being with him every day.

“Okay, hush now. Stop crying, okay? I’m sorry if you feel neglected. I’ll make it up to you. Let’s have dinner and some more time together before I send you home. But I hope you understand that I can’t meet your parents yet.”

Karen looked at him with those loving eyes and smiled slowly.

“Do you still love me, Greg?”

Instead of answering, Greg grabbed her hand then turned to walk. “Let’s eat, I’m starving now.”

Karen knew that Greg pretended not to hear. She let it pass and gladly walked beside Greg and talked about food and special delicacies in their hometown that Greg might have missed. So, they decided to eat in a restaurant that served local delicacies.

BACK IN THE MANSION, Greg’s parents were talking about him.

“Daniel, I’m happy that we raised Greg so well.”

“Of course. Greg has been a good boy since he was little. And he was already a smart kid back then. I guess he got his genes from his biological father.”

“Shh! Careful Daniel. Someone might hear you.”

“It’s okay. Who else would be here but Mr. & Mrs. Javier and Steve? And they are not here. Steve’s inside his room since after lunch and Greg isn’t home yet. Mr. and Mrs. Javier are probably asleep by now.”

“Still, we shouldn’t talk about it. Why are you bringing it up? Are you still upset that we didn’t bear a child of our own?”

“Rowena...” They were seated on a bench in the garden. Daniel put his arms around Rowena. “I’m not regretting any decision that I made. Past is past. It really doesn’t matter to me that Greg is not mine. I have you. And that’s what’s important to me.”

“Of course. I’ll always be here, Daniel. I would stay by your side forever.”

“Thank you for loving me, Rowena.”

“Thank you for loving me and for raising Greg like your own, Daniel.”

Rowena leaned her head on Daniel’s shoulder. Then silently, she reminisced about the days when she decided to marry Daniel. She was already two months pregnant then with Mr. Javier’s son. She and Mr. Javier had sinned, and it was only for one night and never happened again. She was inside Steve’s room putting him to sleep then when Mr. Javier barged in. As soon as he entered the room, Rowena knew that Mr. Javier was drunk.

She knew that Mr. Javier was eyeing her whenever he came home from the city. They seldom go home because they were staying in their house in Manila near their office address. But whenever they visit Steve in the mansion, Mr. Javier would secretly look at her. She had caught him staring at him several times, but she just ignored it. Mr. Javier started treating her nicely. Her young heart was captivated by Mr. Javier’s charm and slowly fell for him. He became her secret crush but knew her place, so she kept her distance.

That night when Mr. Javier came home drunk, Steve was already sleeping when he entered his room. Without hesitating, he walked toward Rowena and embraced her suddenly. Rowena was stunned and couldn’t move. When Mr. Javier kissed her on her lips, she welcomed it and returned his kisses. She tasted the bitterness of liquor in his tongue then wondered if he came alone. When Mr. Javier started caressing her breasts, Rowena didn’t bother asking if he was alone. She drowned in that feeling of ecstasy which she hadn’t felt before.

Mr. Javier grabbed her from behind and pulled her closer to his body. She felt his hardened manhood against her thigh then she wrapped her arms around him. Mr. Javier lowered his head and kissed her on the neck, slowly removing her clothes. He trailed kisses on her bare shoulders down to her breasts. When his mouth found her breast, he licked the top with his tongue and sucked on it very gently. Rowena was in euphoria. She couldn’t think straight. She knew that this would end to something that she might regret later but she just couldn’t stop him and even herself.

Her soft moans and whispers didn’t help. They were sounds that aroused Mr. Javier more and prompted him to go on. He lay Rowena on the carpeted floor and stripped her clothes off. He stood and hurriedly removed his own clothes also. Then he slowly moved inside her and succeeded in claiming her virginity. The blood stain on the carpet was the only witness to that lovely night that changed Rowena’s life.

Now that they were seated in the garden, Rowena shivered and wondered if it was because of the cold breeze or because of that vivid memory of her past. But whatever the reason, Rowena was glad that Daniel was there when she needed him most. She got pregnant with Mr. Javier’s child and found out about it two months after they did it. Daniel was already working then as the gardener in the mansion. Rowena took the opportunity when Daniel courted her. She asked for Daniel’s help and told him about everything. Daniel’s love for Rowena didn’t falter and even suggested that they marry and raise the baby in her womb like his own. When Mr. and Mrs. Javier visited the mansion the following month, Rowena was already married to Daniel through a civil wedding.

Rowena cuddled closer to Daniel. It was unusually cold in the garden that night. Then they were startled when they heard a car pulled over. When they checked, it was Greg. He just got off from a taxi. Rowena noticed that Greg was sad. She approached him and immediately asked.

“Why Greg? Is something wrong? You look sad.”

“Oh, hi, ma.” He didn't answer but he kissed her mother on the cheeks. Then turned to Daniel who was standing behind Rowena. “Hi pa.” He kissed his dad also on the cheeks. “You’re still awake, it’s late.” Greg couldn't tell them that he was not happy with Karen anymore. He was on his way home, seated inside the taxi, when he realized that he wanted to break it off with Karen but didn't know how to say it.

“We’re waiting for you to come home. Have you eaten?”

“Yes, I’m sorry but Karen wanted to eat dinner with me.”

“It’s alright. We understand. But we’re worried about Steve. Did you two had a fight?”

“Why?” Greg was suddenly alarmed.

“He didn’t get out of his room since the time you left. When Mr. & Mrs. Javier had dinner a while ago, I went to his room but it was locked. I called on him to have dinner but he never responded.” Rowena had that worried look on her face.

Greg darted off and waved his hand to his parents. “I’ll go check on him.” He hurriedly went inside and was worried that Steve hadn’t eaten yet. He knocked on the door gently.

After few seconds, Steve opened the door and let him in. Greg saw Steve going back to his bed. It seemed that Greg interrupted his sleep. Greg felt the urge to embrace Steve. He didn’t know that he have missed him that much and he wanted to lay beside him and just cuddle closer to him. Greg wanted to put his head on his arm and to put him back to sleep.

All these emotions are new to Greg. His heart could burst anytime with the heavy feeling of love and passion for Steve. Now Greg knew that all along, Karen was right. He had changed. He was not the same Greg that she used to know. Greg changed because his heart changed also and was already beating for another person. He had changed because he was now attracted to Steve who’s also a man like him.

Greg sat down on the bed and touched Steve on the shoulder. He spoke softly to Steve that made Steve’s heart flutter.

“Steve...come on. Wake up now. You haven’t had dinner yet. It’s not good to sleep on an empty stomach.” Greg was rubbing his shoulder continuously and Steve already felt it becoming warm to his touch.

Oh Greg, why couldn’t you come closer then hug me? That would surely put me in a better mood. You spent the whole afternoon with Karen. You didn’t even text me. Steve was saying these things on his mind. He wanted so badly to blurt it out but Greg might find him weird and might keep his distance. Steve wanted Greg to just stay close to him. He decided to keep his feelings to himself, at least he was sure that Greg would not leave him.

“Hmm..Greg...what time is it?” Steve pretended to be sleepy despite his heart beating so fast with Greg’s nearness.

“It’s already ten o’clock. Have dinner before you go to sleep.”

“I’m so lazy to go down, Greg. I’m still sleepy.” Steve was craving for Greg’s attention. And Greg just gave what he wanted.

“Okay. I’ll go get your food. Just stay awake and wait for me here. Okay?” Greg was talking to Steve like he was a baby and Steve was loving it and enjoying every bit of it.

“Okay.” Steve answered in a husky voice and sat up. The sheets fell, then his bare chest showed and he caught Greg’s eyes stared on his muscles and on his broad chest. Steve unconsciously rubbed his chest and accidentally touched the two round tips on it.

Greg saw the hardened tips. He was tempted to embrace Steve and wet those two tips. Greg felt his erection starting under his pants. He immediately stood and stammered while telling Steve that he’ll come back with a tray. Steve nodded and motioned for him to leave.

When Steve was left alone in the room, he was sure about Greg’s reaction upon seeing him naked. He felt Greg’s concern when he gently touched his shoulder and asked him to have dinner. It was not only care that he saw in his eyes when he looked at him. He saw love...deep in Steve's heart, he knew that they both feel the same.