Studying the Teacher

Chapter 1 Charlie The parking lot lights flickered on as the sun dipped below the horizon, reminding Charlie how long he’d been hiding out in his car. What had begun as an attempt to compose himself had quickly morphed into a near panic attack. His breathing exercises weren’t doing the trick this time and his stomach was roiling. Charlie tightened his grip on the steering wheel and took another deep breath, slowly filling his lungs before letting the air out in a whoosh. His head fell forward, the sound of his heartbeat loud in his ears, nearly drowning out the debate raging in his head. The list of pros and cons he’d created raced through his mind, and the con side was growing at breakneck speed. Maybe there was still time to change his mind—he didn’t have to go in. Except he did and he knew it. He’d wanted this for far too long and he’d be thirty in four months. How much longer could he put off something so important? Years ago, he’d promised himself that he’d do it before he hit the big three-oh. Plus, he’d promised Nathan, and letting him down wasn’t an option. It was now or never, so it had to be now. He lifted his head and eyed the nearly empty parking lot before he leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes. If he was going in, he’d need to stop fighting the tics and surrender. After years of practice, he was able to hold them back for a short time, but never completely. It was impossible. Unfortunately, the more anxious he grew, the stronger the need to tic became. Plus, being around strangers in an unfamiliar setting—or rather, a setting that invoked too many unpleasant memories to count—definitely brought on some serious anxiety. Better to get the majority out now than waiting until he was inside around strangers. Not that he’d be able to hide them all, anyway. Once he let go of the steering wheel, his right arm shot out and hit the passenger seat. The grunts erupted as his hand slapped the seat, his left shoulder popping again and again. There were days when the tics wore him out until he was bone-tired, but trying to fight them off was even more draining. In the end, it didn’t matter—the tics always won out. He’d learned to accept it—getting angry about something he couldn’t change only wasted more energy. He grunted a few more times as the demand began to subside. The final tics rolled through him, battering his mind and body, but leaving him with a sense of relief in their wake. Charlie’s breathing evened out, his heart’s rapid pace finally slowing to almost normal. A quick glance at his phone told him he had only ten minutes left to get inside. He gritted his teeth. Entering a room was always difficult for him. On the one hand, he hated being late—or arriving just in time—because that meant he brought unwanted attention to himself. Showing up after everyone else meant all eyes were on him when he entered. Being the first one to arrive was the ideal scenario, but didn’t always work if the fear of the unknown triggered his anxiety. Then things like sitting out in the parking lot for thirty minutes happened. He shook his head and let out a low chuckle. Shit, his life was exhausting. Fairly confident he was through with his tics for now, he opened his door and pulled his six-four frame from the too-small, too-bright red Kia Picanto he was driving. God he missed his Harley, but it was close to being street-ready again. He’d work on it tomorrow after his job, but first he’d stop by Pete’s and see if he’d been able to get in those parts yet. The brick building loomed in front of him and he shook out his arms, rolling his shoulder, which always hurt a while after some of the more aggressive tics. Charlie took a deep breath and followed the concrete walkway leading to the front entrance of the Linnwood Falls Community Center. He was pretty sure this had been an elementary school at one point. It sure looked like one—reminded him of something you’d see in an old 50’s sitcom. Classic red brick, all one level, and those old tilt-out windows across the entire front of the structure. All but one window was dark and he wondered if that was where he was supposed to go. He pulled open one of the glass doors and glanced around the lobby. An easel held a sign reading HSE/GED Class, bearing a green arrow pointing to the right. A bubble of panic started to rise in his chest and he forcefully shoved it down as he made his way along the hall. Shit. How long had it been since he’d been in a classroom? A dozen years? He rubbed the back of his neck as he reached the end of hall and stood in front of the only door ajar. Conversation filtered out and he wondered how many other people were in there. There hadn’t been very many cars outside, but he certainly hadn’t taken the time to count them. Stop it! Just get your ass in there. He took a deep breath, popped his shoulder one last time, and stepped into the classroom. Several sets of eyes immediately turned to him and he bit the inside of his cheek, fighting the urge to grunt. He counted eleven people seated among twenty or so desks forming neat little rows, facing the front of the room. He offered a small half-smile as he slid into a chair in the last row, closest to the door. He’d learned years ago to make sure he was always nearest to the exit. His coat stayed on just in case he needed to leave—another tip he’d learned over the years. It was always good to be prepared for a quick getaway. Footsteps echoing in the hall grew closer and Charlie, not wanting to make eye contact, kept his gaze on the desk as someone entered the room. He realized he’d forgotten his spiral notebook and a pen. Crap. Not the best way to start back to school. Had he even put them in the car? He pressed his lips together in a tight line, feeling the urge to pop his shoulder again and thought about running to the car for a quick check. He thought he might have a minute or two before the class started. Plenty of time to hightail it to the parking lot— “I’d like to welcome everyone to the first night of our High School Equivalency classes. Or GED class. Call it whatever you want, I’m just glad you’re here.” Charlie lifted his gaze and gaped at the cute guy in jeans and a pale blue button-down speaking to everyone. There was no way he was old enough to be a teacher. Was this some volunteer from the damn high school? Shit. He needed to get out of here. As nonchalantly as possible, he rose from his seat and turned to slip out the door. “Don’t tell me I’ve already lost one of you?” Busted. Charlie closed his eyes and took a deep breath, heat spreading across his skin. He hated speaking in front of strangers. He again fought the urge to grunt and swiveled on his heels. “I-I just remembered I left my supplies in the car,” he explained quietly, acutely aware that everyone was watching him. Sure, everyone stare at the big guy who just wants to fade into the background. A smile spread across the guy’s face and he gestured for Charlie to sit down. “No worries, man. We’re going to be using laptops and I’ve got plenty of paper and writing utensils here for notes.” Well, fuck. He couldn’t very well sneak out now. “Thanks,” he murmured and slid into his seat, keeping his head down and hoping the next time he looked up nobody was staring at him. “So, like I said, we’ll be using laptops that you can check out during each class. If you do have your own laptop, feel free to bring it and I can log you in to the online program we’re using. Anyway, I’m Owen Talbot. We’re all adults here, so please just call me Owen. I’m called Mr. Talbot all day at work. I teach English at Linnwood Falls High School and I’ll be honest, this is my first time teaching the GED class here at the Community Center.” Great—a first timer. Charlie tried to listen, he really did. But between fighting the urge to pop his shoulder and the memories of high school flooding his mind, it was a struggle. Vivid reminders of why he’d dropped out his junior year were everywhere, the perception of being scrutinized by everyone being the strongest. Feeling singled out in a crowd overwhelmed him. To have everyone look at him was almost unbearable. He could actually feel their gaze crawling on his skin. It wasn’t always like that. Each situation varied. When he was with friends, he felt comfortable enough to be himself, knowing they would never make fun of him—they all knew he had Tourette. If he needed to tic, he ticked—simple as that. And as far as work went, he was good at his job, so he felt competent in those situations. More in control. So his tics didn’t get out of control at work or with friends. Those parts of his life were manageable. School had been a special kind of hell for him, though. Which reminded him…what was he doing here? And how the fuck was some kid going to help him pass the GED? He couldn’t help but think his sister was wrong about this class. She’d convinced him to enroll, telling him the GED test was supposed to be really hard and that most graduating seniors couldn’t even pass it—which scared the crap out of him. She’d insisted that taking the class would help him. Now that he was here, Charlie was regretting listening to her. Why hadn’t he just taken the damn test first to see if he even needed the class? He knew the answer, of course—school had never been easy for him. He would need all the help he could get. He’d dreaded taking tests. No matter how much he’d studied, the minute the room was quiet and he’d started on a test, his mind blanked. Nothing. It usually took about half the class time just to clear the fog in his brain before he could begin. Which meant he never finished a test on time. “How old are you?” The question from a guy near the front piqued Charlie’s interest and he smiled a little at the chuckles that passed through the room. Clearly he wasn’t the only one to think this guy was way too young to teach. The teacher—Owen—grinned. “I get that a lot. I know I look young,” he began, his gaze sweeping the room and landing on Charlie, “but I’m actually twenty-six.” Owen licked his pink lips and damn if Charlie’s dick didn’t take notice. Even from the back row, Charlie’s skin heated at the way Owen’s beautiful Mediterranean blue eyes raked over him. He visibly shivered and Owen’s lips twitched into a small smile, and for a moment—just for a moment—Charlie was pretty sure the guy was checking him out. Huh. Interesting. He watched as Owen flicked his gaze to the guy in the front row that had asked him his age. “How about you? Why don’t you tell us your name and why you’re here?” Fuck. Charlie’s heart dropped to his stomach, and just like that, the anxiety ramped up again. He knew Owen would get around to him soon and he couldn’t let that happen. Telling his story to strangers was not what he signed up for. “Greg. And I promised my fiancé I would get my GED before we got married.” “When’s the wedding?” Owen asked. “Six months.” Owen grinned, revealing a set of incredibly straight, white teeth. “Oh, you’ve got plenty of time.” As Owen moved around the room, up and down the aisles, clearly at ease in a classroom, asking everyone to introduce themselves, Charlie’s breathing shallowed. He knew he was next and struggled to get more air into his lungs. If he didn’t get himself under control, he’d be in the grips of a full-blown panic attack. Without a word, he rose from his seat and slipped out the door, his head swiveling in search of a men’s room. Spying a sign at the end of the hall, he nearly sprinted for it, eager to hide his grunts, as the need to release his tics built. In the bathroom, he quickly checked the stalls. He was alone. “Unh. Unh. Unh,” he grunted, giving in and popping his shoulder. His right arm shot out and he slapped the wall over and over. Pain ricocheted through him, but it didn’t matter. It felt so good to release, and his breathing calmed. He eyed his reflection in the mirror and shook his head. His skin was flushed and he looked like he’d just been running. How was he going to explain this? He wasn’t. No, he just needed to get the hell out of Dodge. When he stepped back into the hall, he saw an exit just to his right. If he used that, he wouldn’t even have to walk by the classroom. Decision made, he hurried that way, and in seconds, his hand was on the door, freedom within his grasp. “Please don’t leave.” His heart raced at Owen’s voice. Charlie popped his shoulder without thinking and grunted low. He took a deep breath and turned to face Owen. His eyes widened in surprise when he saw the man standing less than a foot away. Charlie guessed he was probably around five-ten at the most. His deep ocean-blue eyes were even more beautiful up close and they looked…kind. Gentle. Owen’s blond—no, more like golden wheat—hair fell across his forehead and Charlie fought the urge to sweep it back. It didn’t help that the guy had pale skin sprinkled with just a few freckles across delicate features. He wasn’t just cute, he was bewitching. Shit. Focus. “I-I…I don’t think this is going to work for me,” he offered weakly. Owen tilted his head and his bangs fanned out like silken strands. “Do you mind if I ask you something personal?” Oh shit. Here it comes. Why are you grunting? What’s wrong with you? But he nodded anyway. He’d been asked so many times before. “Why did you sign up for this class?” That was all he wanted to know? Charlie was okay with answering that. At least when it was just the two of them, not surrounded by the whole class. “Um, my nephew, Nathan, starts kindergarten in August and I wanted to show him how important school was. Plus I’ve always said I would have my GED by the time I turn thirty.” Owen nodded. “And how old are you?” “Twenty-nine. I turn thirty in four months.” Another nod. “So between your looming birthday and your nephew starting kindergarten, a fire was lit under your ass?” This time it was Charlie who nodded. “That pretty much sums it up.” Owen rested his hand on his hip and smiled. “Look, I’d love to help you achieve your dream. I’m new to this—working with adults—and I realize I already made a big mistake in there,” he admitted, gesturing back to the classroom with his head. Charlie wasn’t following. He furrowed his brow. “Mistake?” “I wasn’t thinking about the fact that most of you haven’t been in a classroom for years, even decades, and the first thing I do is ask you guys to talk in front of strangers. I shouldn’t have done that, Charlie. I’m really sorry.” Owen was apologizing. To Charlie. “Wait…how did you know my name?” Owen grinned, revealing dimples in each cheek. “I already checked in everyone else. Your name was the only one left.” “Oh.” He stood rooted to the floor, feeling a little silly. So now what—should he go back in? The silence stretched as he tried to think of something to say. “I’d really like you to stay. I promise not to ask you any questions in class.” Owen sounded sincere. “How did you know that’s why I left? That it was because of you asking us to talk?” “I saw the expression on your face—sheer panic. I won’t put you through that again. I promise.” Panic. And he’d thought he’d perfected the art of hiding his emotions over the years. But he was feeling okay right now. If Owen was willing to work with Charlie’s issues, the least he could do was stay for the first class. He nodded. “I’ll give it a try.” Owen rewarded him with a huge smile and patted his shoulder. “That’s great! Okay, then let’s head back in and make sure the others haven’t destroyed the room. I’m used to high schoolers rolling their eyes at me all day, but I have a feeling adults might be even harder.” Charlie chuckled and tried to ignore the tingle on his shoulder where Owen had touched him. Or the way the freckles on Owen’s skin resembled a dusting of cinnamon. And he worked really hard to ignore how sexy Owen’s ass looked in his Levi’s as he walked to the front of the class a few minutes later. Charlie tried…but failed miserably. This class was going to be tougher than he’d even imagined.