JAMES
One of my nurses is due soon to watch over me while I shave. In front of the mirror, after showering and changing, I rub at the thick stubble coating my face. I look like s**t. I’ve lost weight, my hair needs cutting, my skin is pale. I can’t help wondering how Grace will react to me. I look nothing like the man she fell in love with.
She loves you, I remind myself. I need to hold onto that, to believe it even when my mind is telling me not to.
When my nurse arrives, I make the effort, for the first time, to read her ID badge that’s pinned to her shirt. “Thank you, Jackie,” I say, taking the disposable razor and shaving foam from her. I’m grateful she lets me go into the bathroom alone, although she asks that I keep the door ajar.
It takes me a while to remove the hair that I’ve
