Silent Shot

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

Days passed and I haven’t seen Viggo again. And on those days, I figured more and more how I like him so much.

This is not just infatuation I feel. It’s much more.

But is this love? Mahal ko ba siya?

Not yet. Hindi naman. Hindi PA naman.

My feelings for him are somewhere in between like and love. It’s greater than the former but not yet reaching the latter.

Though, all I’m sure of is it does grow. Everyday.

“I guess we should host it at a five-star hotel,” Daddy suggested. We’re eating dinner and he and mom has been talking about my birthday venue.

“Here at home is fine but it would be more classy if-”

“Honey, why don’t we ask our daughter about that?” my mother smiled at Dad.

“Oh,” Daddy’s brows raised. “Of course, of course.” he turned to me then. “I’m sorry, hija. It’s just that, I invited some business partners and colleagues. But where you want is what we will do.”

“I’m fine everywhere, Dad. Host my birthday in a hotel, it’s more formal that way. Plus, sa debut ko na lang po saka ako magdedecide ng kung ano ang gusto ko. I don’t have a preference yet.”

“Wonderful!” pumalakpak pa si dad. Mommy shook her head with a smile. “I promise, anak, ikaw na ang bahala pagsapit ng debut mo.”

At iyon na nga ang napagkasunduan. My birthday is a week from now, at sa kulang-kulang tatlong linggo ay hindi ko pa ulit nakikita si Viggo.

Jacob said he’s so busy with the thesis and OJT.

But I’m not comfortable. I think I’m a bit paranoid since he’s not my age and he’s old. I mean, he can start dating anytime.

Whoever he wants and whenever he wanted.

It scares me.

What if malaman ko na may girlfriend na siya? Will I take it? Can I take it even? How can I face him then?

I slept with those thoughts in my head.

**

“Grace, may dinner mamaya sa bahay kasama ang pamilya nina Jacob. I already told my mom that I’ll bring a friend and she said it's okay.”

I watched as my friend’s eyes glistened. She sure is excited for it!

“Oh my! Lira!” kinilig kilig ito sa harap ko.

Nawala na ang sobrang pagkamahiyain ni Grace. Hindi na ito gaya ng dati kung makitungo sa akin. Maybe because we got used with each other’s company. Noong una kasi ay nagkakapaan pa kami ng ugali.

Now, we’re like an open book.

But I never mentioned to her my feelings about Viggo.

“Will he come? Andun pa siya?” she asked enthusiastically.

I nodded furiously and watched her jump up and down in excitement.

“Oh my god! I don’t know what to wear. What do you usually wear? Is it formal or what?”

I laughed. “It’s not formal. Just a friendly dinner. Don’t overdress, Grace, okay?”

“Sige! I’ll take note of that! I’m excited to meet him up close!”

I smiled but sadness was there in my eyes. Nakakapa-sana all na lang. Kung hindi lang busy si Viggo, makaka-attend sana siya sa dinner mamaya. Ganito din sana ako kasaya ngayon.

“Lira!”

Napalingon ako sa tumawag. I looked at Grace who stiffened beside me. Si Jacob yung tumatawag at palapit sa amin ngayon!

I suppressed myself to smile wide. Masyadong maagang dininig ng tadhana ang hiling nitong kaibigan ko.

“Bakit, Jacob?”

“Uh,” nagkamot ito ng batok at tumingin sa kaibigan ko. Tila nahihiya magsalita dahil may tao.

“A-Aalis muna ako… Lira.” sabi ni Grace na parang naunawaan naman ang reaksyon ni Jacob.

“No. Miss, its okay.” Jacob smiled and turned to me. “Pahiram naman ako ng notes sa Science, oh.” medyo bulong nito.

I laughed hard from his favor. Kung ako lang may crush dito, turned off na ako panigurado.

“At bakit naman kita papahiramin?”

“I ditched the classes. You know…”

“Dahil nakipag-date ka.” I sighed when he grinned boyishly which means he admit it. “Hay naku, I won’t. Wala akong pake kung bumagsak ka diyan. I’ll even sumbong you to tita and tito later.”

“Lira naman!” nagdadabog ito. “Pleaseee!”

“Y-You can b-borrow mine…” suhestyon ni Grace sa tabi ko.

Agad na pinanlakihan ko siya ng mata at namumula ang pisngi na napatingin na lang ito sa sahig.

“Really?! You’re so kind!” bigla akong inakbayan nito. “Meanwhile, this friend of mine is so heartless.”

“Ano ba!” sinikmuraan ko ito kaya napabitaw sa pagkaka-akbay sa akin.

“Ow!”

Grace was busy looking for her science notebook inside her bag while I argue with Jacob.

“H-Heto, oh.”

Inabot ni Jacob ang notebook at ngumiti ng malaki. “Thank you! Uh, what’s your name?”

Namula na naman ang kaibigan ko. Kuuu.

“G-Grace.”

“Thank you, Grace!”

Aba’t ang kumag! Hindi man lang nagpakilala pabalik! He is so boastful that everyone in the campus knew him, huh!

I decided to butt in.

“This is my good friend, Grace. Grace, this is my childhood friend Jacob.” I introduced them both.

Pinandilatan ko ng mata si Jacob nang hindi man lang nito iniaro ang kamay para makipag-shake hands kay Grace! Nagets naman agad nito iyon at agad naglahad ng kamay.

“I’m Jacob. Thank you for this. Ibabalik ko din sayo ito bukas.”

“O-Okay.” sagot ni Grace at ngumiti.

Nagkamayan ang dalawa pero saglit lang. Halata ko na sa kaibigan ko na malapit na itong mag hyperventilate.

“Uh, inimbitahan ko si Grace mamaya sa bahay. She’ll join us to dinner.”

“That’s great!” Jacob smiled. “But I can’t return this to you later tonight, mahahalata ng parents ko e.” he grinned wide again.

“O-Okay lang. Kahit bukas na lang.”

Jacob smiled and nodded. He turned to me next.

“Nga pala, Kuya won’t be able to join us later,” he informed.

I felt sad though I expected that already. Agad kong ikinunot ang noo ko to hide what I really feel.

“Duh. And so?” pasupladang umismid pa ako dito.

“Uh, duh? You keep asking about him these past few days so I think you wanted to know-Aray! Lira, nakakadalawa ka na!”

“Umalis ka na nga!” baka mamaya, baldahin ko na talaga to!

Umalis na din si Jacob at agad ko namang binalingan si Grace. Arching one of my brow to her.

“Yiiiieee!” kilig na kilig na sumigaw ito nang wala na talaga si Jacob.

“Anong yiee? Bakit mo siya hinayaang kumopya ng notes? Didn’t you know that he was failing to attend his classes because of his flings? You just helped his lust life!” I nagged.

“That’s fine, Lira!” she grinned. “He looks so cute!”

“Anong fine doon?”

“Ganito, I like him. I have a crush on him. But I know my place, I know he won’t like me back so its okay. Masaya na ako na makita siya, makausap, ganon. Wag mo na nga akong awayin! Kinikilig pa ako! Hindi ako maghuhugas ng kamay nito!”

Bumuntong-hininga na lang ako dahil mukhang nagde-daydream pa din ito.

I suddenly asked myself…

Am I the same? Ganon ba dapat?

Kaya ko ba na maging masaya lang dahil makita ko si Viggo o makausap lang ito? Kahit may iba itong babae? Magkaroon ng girlfriend o fling? Either serious or not?

I don’t think so.

I think I’ll die with jealousy and insecurity if that time ever comes.