Break Me

Christmas

Emilia hadn't gone home for Thanksgiving, she had made an excuse not to go home and see her family. Her mother had been understanding, her father? Not so much. Now here Christmas was approaching and she needed to book her ticket. She was sitting in her dorm room, pantsless with a top knot, and one of Carter's shirts. Emilia didn't want to go home for millions of reasons, her time three defining ones:

1. Her mother's obvious loneliness would guilt her like crazy.

2. She would be berated and harassed the entire time she was there about coming home.

3. Emilia still dealt with the paralyzing fear of being in a bubble entire life. She was scared if she went back to the bubble this time, she'd never escape again.

Emilia knew her father wanted her to come home for this holiday purely because he wanted her face to face. That way he could yell and throw shots at her confidence directly instead of over the phone. Looking into the mirror, Emilia's brain went to another time...

She had been thirteen and had just started to fill out. Emilia was curious about her body, and boys. She spent so much time in doors she didn't get the chance to meet anyone. When her mother left for the grocery store and her father got preoccupied by a game, Emilia went into her front yard. She at first used her chalk to draw on the driveway, and even read a couple of chapters of Harry Potter.

It was an hour later when a boy came down the street and noticed her. He smiled at her kindly and introduced himself, "I'm Gemini. What's your name?" Emilia had blushed and introduced herself. Gemini had been fourteen and cute, with big brown eyes and dimples. He had sat with Emilia talking about school, his friends, and family. Emilia envied him and had wanted to have what he did.

It was thirty minutes into the conversation that, Ernesto came barreling out of the house like a bull. He had snatched Emilia up roughly and chased Gemini away from the house. Ernesto had roughly yanked his daughter into the house yelling at her, "Stupid!", "Naive!", and "You could have been kidnapped or worse!" Emilia had sobbed as her father roughly pulled her bedroom door open and pushed her inside.

Emilia had turned and looked at her father as he pointed to her, "Listen here girl, I am the king of this castle and it's my rules or your banished. Got it?" Emilia nodded still in tears and Ernesto looked her over, "Emilia you're not capable of making wise decisions for your future. That's why you have a papa. I will make them ALL for you until your husband comes to take my place." And with that he slammed the door and locked her inside for the remainder of the day. Her punishment for going into the front yard, talking with a boy, and disobeying her father.

Emilia's mother left her in the room to cry her eyes out. She did nothing but listen to her daughter suffer. That was the first day Emilia picked up a razor.

Emilia pulled from her thoughts as a knock sounded at her door. Walking over to it, she smiled widely at Blair and waved her in. Blair sat on Emilia's fuzzy bean bag chair and smiled at her friend, "I wanted to stop by and say happy holidays before I went home." Blair looked over at Emilia's computer. "You booking your ticket?" Emilia shrugged, "I don't even want to go." Blair pouted, "You'd miss Carter? You two have been dating for months now, shouldn't you just take him with you? Introduce him to the family?"

Emilia shuddered at the idea causing Blair to c**k an eyebrow, "Whoa scared it'll freak him out?" Emilia shook her head and turned to her friend, "My father and brother's are too protective of me. My father didn't want me to come to school here, and if he had it his way I'd have been home now married to some jerk off play boy doctor." Blair jerked back and Emilia nodded, " I would love to have my family meet Carter, like him and treat him like family. But my family would scare him away. Not to mention if I even went, the first thing my father will want to know is if I'm seeing someone."

Blair nodded, "Sounds stressful, and you're positive you can't stay here for Christmas break? I'm sure Carter and his family will make you feel right at home." Emilia bit her bottom lip and looked to her computer. "I would have to call my mother and tell her I'm not coming home. It won't be pretty."

Blair grinned, "Well then, I wish you a Merry Ho-Ho-Ho, and I'll be out of your hair." They waved bye to each other and Emilia face timed her mother. When Pamela answered, the dull and drabby look in her eye instantly lifted, "Darling! Ah I've missed you! How are you?" Emilia smiled forcefully, "Good, but I call to say I won't be coming home this Christmas." Pamela froze, "What? Why not?" She demanded. Emilia came up with a lie quick, "I have a class getting out late due to a teacher who had been pregnant going into birth earlier than anticipated. They hadn't had a replacement on reserve for so soon, so the class was cancelled until they could get one. I have one class up until the twenty first and the flights I'm trying to book for that day or any others for later are booked. Sorry momma."

Pamela pursed her lips and tersely said, "Well nothing can be done I suppose. Speak to you soon." And with that the line went dead. Emilia huffed and slammed her laptop closed. She had known her mother would act this way.

Pamela was obviously going nuts with her time stuck in the house with no one but the retired Ernesto. She usually spent her days cleaning, cooking, and watching Soap Operas. But now the eat, shower, sleep repeat cycle was dull and unsatisfying. And with no one but her husband who was so indifferent to her, she was left alone. Not even her daughter there to keep her mind off her miserable life.

Which left Emilia in an uncomfortable place. She knew her mother was lonely, because she had felt that loneliness through her entire being. With her brother's grown and out of the house, she knew her mother didn't have anyone to confide in, to talk to.

Emilia also knew that the cold terror that went down her spine from the thought of going home wouldn't let up. She didn't want to go home and get trapped there again. Her little taste of freedom had made her greedy. Now that she's seen Ireland, she wanted to see it all. She felt at peace, alive, and excited for more.

It was her life, it was time she grabbed it with both hands. Picking up her phone she quickly called her boyfriend and instantly felt better when he answered, "So I am not going home to my family and I was wondering...do you want to spend Christmas together?"

Carter's smile stretched a mile wide, "How about you come over to my place love? I got hot coco and peppermint schnapps, not to mention food galore." Emilia smiled, "Sounds perfect. I'll be there in ten."