Holiday Second Chance Romance

2 Crashing Down

Clarice POV

"I agree the guilt is eating me alive. I love Clarice. I can't lose her, Loretta," Trevor says. "Trev, what do you think she wants to tell you tonight? Do you think she suspects what's been going on between us," Loretta asks, and my legs feel like they are going to give out. They have been having an affair. Trevor has been sleeping with my best friend. My best friend has been f**king my husband. "No, if Clarice suspected I'd know. My wife can't hide anything from me," he says.

Anger like I've never known bubbles up inside me. I'm torn between tearing into the room and screaming or just walking out. The anger wins, and I drop everything I'm holding. The place goes silent before the sound of heavy footsteps heads in my direction. When Trevor steps into sight first, he looks horrified. "Clarice," he says just as Loretta steps into view.

When my eyes meet hers, I expect to see triumph, but instead she looks scared. Trevor takes a step toward me, bringing my attention back to him. "Do not come any closer to me." "Clarie, please, let's just talk," Loretta pleads. "Don't ever call me that again. You have been f**king my husband for months. You don't ever get to call me that again." "Clarice, please come sit down and let us explain," Trevor begs.

"This is why you asked me not to leave you this morning. You have been f**king my best friend. There is nothing to explain. I never thought either of you would betray me, but I guess I was very wrong." I can feel the tears on my cheeks, but I refuse to acknowledge them. "Clarice, there is a lot to explain. I love you. I have never stopped loving you. You are my heart. Loretta loves you. She wants to be part of our marriage, our family. I know we went about this the wrong way, but we want the three of us to be together," he says.

I open and close my mouth as his words steal my voice. Am I in an alternate universe? He did not just ask me to be in a polyamorous relationship with him and my best friend after they have been cheating on me for months. "You can't be serious." "We are serious. I have loved you since high school. My feelings for Trevor have grown into love over the years, but it doesn't compare to what I feel for you, Clarie," Loretta says. "Let me get this straight."

"You have been f**king my husband behind my back. You are in love with him, but I'm supposed to be alright with it because you're in love with me too. Is that what you think will make what you have f**king done alright?" A wave of nausea chooses that moment to rear its ugly head. My body moves on automatic to the kitchen and I gag into the garbage can emptying the contents of my stomach. The minute hands grab my hair, I pull away. "Don't f**king touch me," I scream at Trevor as I walk to the sink.

I quickly rinse my mouth and grip the edge to get my bearings. "I want you both to leave so I can gather my things without having to look at you two." "Clarice, no one is leaving. We need to talk this out. I won't lose you," he says. "You already did. There is no way I will ever forgive you for betraying me. Had you had a conversation with me about your feelings for my best friend, we may have been able to get past it, but never would there ever have been a chance I would share you with another woman. We are done."

"You don't mean that. You are angry, I get it. I love you Clarice. We can fix this," he says. I throw my head back and laugh. "You didn't just cheat on me, you a**hole. You fell in love with the woman I considered a sister. There is nothing to fix. Now get the f**k out while I pack. Looking at the two of you makes me sick." He takes another step toward me and, without a second thought, I reach out slapping him across the face. I've never hit another person in my life until now.

I push past him, intending to head to my room when Loretta grabs my arm. "Clarie please don't leave. We love you," she says. "Get your f**king hands off me before I make what I did to him look tame. You are no longer my best friend. You are just some wh*re who f**ked my husband," I say wrenching my arm away from her hold. I quickly move toward the stairs, taking them two at a time. When I finally reach my room, I slam the door shut and lock it. I slide to the floor and close my eyes. I wish this was a nightmare I could wake up from.

Tears roll down my cheeks and my hand goes to my still flat belly. The baby we both wanted growing inside me while everything around me is crashing down. How did everything I thought was the truth turn into a lie? "Clarice, sweetheart, open the door. I sent Loretta home. It's just us. We can talk and figure this out." "How sad your girlfriend left. You should have left with her." "She isn't my girlfriend Clarice. You are my wife. The only one that is important right now." "To bad you didn't think about that before sticking your d**k in her. The minute you did that, I wasn't your wife anymore."

"Clarice, please. I will cut her out. I really thought you would be happy to have us both. You love Loretta. You are always saying you miss her and I thought this would be perfect," he says. "You really can't think I am this stupid. You think I believe you f**ked my best friend for me. F**k you Trevor. I hate you."

"This isn't you, Clarice. You don't curse and hit people. I realize now what we did was wrong, but it doesn't change how much I love you," he says. "And her, don't forget you love her." "Not nearly as much as I love you. I can walk away from her if that's what you want, Clarice. If you forgive me, we can go back to the way things were. I can't lose you, Clarice," he says. We are just going around in circles. I need him to leave so I can figure out what to do next. My life was so perfect this morning, and now it's a sh*t show wrapped in a clusterf**k. Some Christmas this is turning out to be.

"Trevor, I need some time alone to think." "Do you promise if I give you some space, we can talk? I mean really talk about how we move forward together, Clarice. I can't accept anything less. You are my wife. The love of my life," he says. I fight the urge to gag. "Where will you go? Will you go to her?" I don't even know why I'm asking, because his answer won't change a thing, but I need to know. "No, I'll go visit my parents for a few hours. I'll grab your favorite chinese on my way back," he says.

"Fine, give me a few hours." "I love you, Clarice. I know I hurt you, but I promise I'll make this right whatever way you need me to," he says. I don't respond because there is nothing I can say in response to that. There is nothing short of a time machine that can fix this. He knows how I feel about cheaters. My father is a serial cheater. He is why I refused to go home to see my parents. He is a cheater and my mother is his doormat. I wish my grandmother was alive. Although she would probably drive here and shoot both of these ba**ards once I told her what they did, so it's better she isn't.

As I pack an idea forms in my mind. The cottage my grandmother left me is still in my name. I'm sure it will need work, but Trevor will never find me there. He knows that my parents live in a small town nearby, but he has no idea I own the cottage my grandfather built. I haven't touched my book money, so money won't be a problem. Its funny Trevor says he supported my writing, but he never even asked how much I made. He insisted I put my book money in a separate account. He called it my mad money that was for me to spend as I saw fit. Three million dollars is a lot of mad money I chuckle to myself.

I'll probably have to stay at the Kringle Inn until everything in the cottage is fixed. The small town Inn is probably cheaper than staying in a hotel here where there is a possibility Trevor could find me. I pack enough for five days. The rest I can buy after I arrive in Colorado. My heart clenches in my chest when I again think about the baby growing in my belly. The excitement of just a few hours ago is long gone. I know eventually I'll have to tell him, but right now I don't owe him a thing. He did this. He broke us.

As soon as I'm finished packing, I drag my bag downstairs. I laugh when I see the mess of cupcakes still lying on the floor near the front door. Tears start again, and I slide off my wedding rings that I haven't taken off my finger since the day we got married. I set them on the table near the door. I take one last look at the place that has been my home for the last five years.

I fight the urge to sob. Crying isn't going to change what's happened. Besides, I'll have plenty of time to cry when I'm far away from my cheating husband and my former best friend. I quickly make my way to my car. As soon as I'm behind the wheel, a hundred questions swirl in my brain. How did it start? How long has it been going on?

How could they face me every day knowing what they were doing? I wipe a stray tear away and pull out of the driveway. I try to push the pain away and focus on driving. I'll have to call a lawyer, but right now my only focus is getting to the airport. I never expected to be leaving my home. To be leaving California to return to a town that never really felt like home growing up, but I guess plans change.