Remember Me

Chapter 24

Riley moves to stand in front of me, fixing me with an intense, studying gaze. 

“What was he talking about last night? Was he here?” he asks me. 

“He came to pick up the baby and offered to help with the paper. It was nothing,” I say, trying to brush him off. 

“It didn’t sound like nothing. What happened?” 

“Nothing much.” 

“Did you get the paper done?” he asks, blowing out a breath. 

“Not exactly. I’ll get it done later.” 

“Then what happened? Obviously not homework.” 

“Riley, it was nothing. I’ve got it handled,” I tell him in a stern voice, wishing he would just drop it and let it go. But I know him better than that at this point. 

“He kissed you again,” he states, still studying and watching my face. “Was that all or did more happen?” 

“No,” I rush out. 

“No, he didn’t kiss you? Or no to nothing more happening?” he asks, his voice taking on an edge I’ve never heard before. 

“No, nothing more happened. You called and he left,” I tell him, defeated. 

“He was here that late? You were awake when I called?” he asks in disbelief. “So, you just made out for hours while I was being an i***t and trying to call you for your birthday,” he says, more to himself than to me, looking rejected and hurt. My heart breaks at the sight of him and the sound of his voice. 

“We didn’t just make out for hours, Riley,” I tell him, my voice soft as I reach out and touch his arm. “He came over and offered to help. I told him no at first, but I could tell he wanted to talk about something. So, I let him in and we talked for a little while. I didn’t realize it was that late.” 

“So, you just fell back into old patterns just like that? I don’t get it, Natalie. He hurt you, broke you. I thought you two were done.” 

“You think I’m not aware of this? I am. More than anyone. I’m not just falling back into old patterns. I’m not trying to, anyway. I’m just confused and lost. I spent ten years being his best friend, and only six months pushing him out. Then, out of nowhere, he starts popping back up and I become even more lost. There’s too much happening at once, and too fast. It’s making my head spin.” 

“It’s not out of nowhere. You really haven’t noticed that this started when he noticed me around?” 

I look at him confused but take in what he’s saying and realize that it does seem like that’s how it happened. But why would that spur Colton into all of this? Then my thought process changes and my eyes focus on him. 

“Maybe,” I concede. “But, why do you care Riley? Why is this seeming to bother you so much? Nothing ever seems to get to you.” 

He pauses, taken off guard. “I never told you that nothing gets to me. You came to that conclusion on your own.” 

“I said it never seems to. You’re avoiding the question.” 

“I care about you, Natalie. I don’t want to watch you go back down that road and end up in the same place.” 

“One minute you’re trying to convince me that he’s in love with me, and the next he’s going to hurt me again,” I tell him, narrowing my eyes at him. 

He rubs a hand down his face before stepping closer to me and resting them on my cheeks, tilting my head up until I’m looking directly into his eyes. I swallow nervously and watch as he notices, causing the corners of his mouth to tilt up into a small smile. 

“I’m not saying that I’m not convinced he’s in love with you anymore. Last night, and today, kind of confirm that for me. But I also see that he obviously has to be going through something seriously confusing in his mind if he decided to let you go in the first place,” he tells me gently. 

My jaw sets in frustration and determination. “Then maybe he needs me. And what kind of friend would I be if I abandoned him when he needed me?” 

“He abandoned you, Nat. Not the other way around. You’re looking out for yourself in your time of need, and that’s not a bad thing. You need to take care of yourself and look out for yourself too. Not just everyone else while you stay on the backburner.” 

I nod and feel my eyes start to burn with the tears threatening to spill over. I never fathomed that I would find myself in such a mind-boggling mess. But as I look into the sincerity that runs deep into Riley's bright green eyes, I can’t help but feel just the slightest bit comforted. 

“Now, let’s enjoy your birthday. You deserve that much,” he continues, stroking my cheek.  

Dread fills every inch of me at the thought of having to go back into that party and deal with everyone else. I just don’t have the energy for it anymore. I honestly didn’t have it to begin with. 

“Please get rid of them,” I beg him with my words and eyes. 

He looks at me concerned, but nods and doesn’t question me. I go back inside and wait in my room. A few minutes later, everyone is gone and Riley finds his way to my room. He silently sits on the bed next to me. 

“Are you okay?” he asks after a few minutes. 

I nod and focus my eyes on his. “You promised,” I say quietly. 

“I know. I didn’t think that was making it a big deal. I thought you would like it. I’m sorry.” 

I shake my head and sigh. “It’s fine.” 

He looks around my room and takes in the raw pain that seems to emanate from it. I watch him for a reaction and find understanding in his eyes. When he's done looking around, he looks back at me and smiles that infectious smile of his. My heart warms for it. 

“I got you something,” he says, taking out a small square box. 

I’m speechless. I want to tell him no but can’t make myself because I know it would only hurt him, and just the thought of hurting him fills my chest with a dull ache. He’s so open and vulnerable. People associate that with being weak and stupid, but I realize now that that is part of what makes him so brave and strong. He doesn’t let fear of getting hurt close him up. He knows it could happen, but he isn’t scared and doesn't let it stop him. I've never experienced that. 

I grab the box and open it, finding a silver locket. It's simple but beautiful. It’s perfect and I love it. 

“I thought you could find a picture that makes you happy and put it in. Then whenever you’re feeling down or upset, you can open it and look at it to remind you of the good in your life and that things aren't always bad,” he explains, his eyes like open doors showing his hopefulness. 

How much thought he put into it amazes me and I can’t help but smile. When he sees me, he relaxes and smiles too. 

“Thank you. I love it."

“You’re not mad?” 

“Not this time,” I laugh. 

“I was really hoping you wouldn’t be. Do you need help with it?” 

“I can get it,” I answer, moving to put it on. 

He takes it from me anyway. “Can you let me be cliché for a minute?” I laugh as he moves my hair and puts it on me. “Happy birthday, Natalie,” he says seriously, then leans over and places a kiss on my cheek.

I don’t have time to be shocked because my mom walks in with a small square box of her own. She smiles and holds it out to me. I grab it and open it to see a key. My mouth instantly drops. Is this why she’s stayed so busy? I jump up, look out my window, and spot a black car sitting in the driveway. I can only manage one word. 

“How?” 

“I’ve been saving up for a little while.” 

I rush over to her and smother her with a hug. “Thank you so much.” 

“Now all you need is your license. Which we can get as soon as they’re open.” 

I smile at her, feeling epically idiotic for ever throwing a fit over my iPod. 

That night, when I’m lying in bed, I go over the day in my head. The biggest thing I keep replaying is Connor. For some reason, I’m still bothered by his reaction. I start to wonder if it’s not just the diner that I’m feeling drawn to but instantly stop myself, knowing I’m just being stupid. I’m just sleepy and drained. I wouldn’t care if I never saw the diner or Connor again. In fact, I won’t go back. Filled with new resolve, I drift off to sleep.