The Alpha Killed My Husband

36| Jasmines Are Fragrant

'Dear Lord, please tell me how to unexist?' I groan in the pillow, stifling a shriek that chokes my throat.

Stop breathing. As simple as that! That voice again.

Aish b***h! You are goddamn pricking on my nerves. You wanna get your ass beaten? I retort.

Bold of you to believe I do not wanna die. It retaliates with the same sassiness. It's a million times better than being a Lycan with ya.

‘Who the f**k are you?’ I snap, bouncing up in a sitting position. The messy tangles of blonde hair fall all over my face. My hands still clutch the sheets tightly as I peek a boo of my surroundings. The sun has settled down the seabed, leaving a misty tinge of tangerine and crimson after it.

In the moonless sky, tiny stars twinkle in a cluster chain, marking the shape of a head. I neither have the energy nor the strength to figure out the creature. However, it does seem like a significant celestial occurrence.

I do not care, which makes me wonder if, instead of a queen serpent on vengeance, I had been a she-wolf or a witch or maybe, a vampiress, had life moulded differently? Would it have been as glorious as the starry night of autumn or like a dark cold night of late winter?

If I was not Sarvayoni, the shape-shifter. I'd still be lying tattered in Appy Lanes. Who knows if Mad Manish has been successful in lascivious desires? Or maybe not. It's subjective. Who knows, I would have been a little less diplomatic. A little less bitter. A little more lively. Maybe I would have been stretching under the dark sky, trying to figure out the shape of the head.

Celestial occurrences aren't a daily affair after all. It takes millions of years for the planets to take up the position. The universe is mysterious.

Look at me! Instead of galloping on the chance, I am wasting away such a fine evening regretting my life choices, cursing myself for letting the reins loose.

If I had been in the Samrajya, I would have nagged Acharya Agni (the head preceptor and expert instructor of management, ethics, or any other subject concerning the throne) till I knew the interpretation and implementing facts.

HeadMaster of the Gurukul located in the AnantNath Temple at Hanuman Hill, Acharya Agni has been a scholar and chief counsellor in the kingdom since time immemorial.

He was known to attain the ‘third-eyed wisdom’ after performing a secret penance. Some said he was rewarded a boon by the Lord himself. Surely, he could see the future and chat with the sages and hermits. He was highly respected for his priceless insights, impartial verdicts, and immeasurable guidance.

In a true sense, he was Sarp-Samrajya’s treasure until Vachaspati kicked him out, accusing him of a crime he had never committed.

Why would he kick out such a gem? If someone finds out, please let me know. Much as I have tried, I cannot find the source of it. However, I have always believed it to be otherwise. He might be dead already.

I do not feel the need to dwell on it much. I have got this pool of miseries. I'd rather take a dip in. It has been more than five hours already since Alpha has disappeared, leaving me in the safe perimeter of our bedroom where I can be a rotten omelette, a bean bag, and an over-fried potato all in a single body. I have done every freaking thing I could think of to get some horrible images out of my mind.

I broke the furniture, tore cushions, shredded the wardrobe…danced on the most vulgar track I could find on the playlist. For hours on end, I sat by the window gazing at the vast ocean. I was somewhat amused at the unimaginable depth. The waves crashing and hitting the rocks soothed my soul. I was the wild wind, twirling across the surface.

Sometimes, I would reach the heights of the sky and then, I would travel through the pits of valleys.

It was pleasing for it was the first time I had felt the emotions. On top of that, the reflective talks where I could silence my mind and listen to my heart are cherished in a safe cocoon.

Anyways, even magnificent picturesque beauty has limitations. It could not enthral me any longer before the brain regained consciousness and the stings became penetrating.

The more I perpend over it, the deeper I sunk into the dark hole. Overcome by eternal grief, I ended up curling myself in a ball.

And then I did what any sincere serpent in my shoe would do, I cried.

Granted, the feeling of rage is more expressive, but it cannot stir the heart as tears alone can do it. I felt hot tears on my cheek and broke down. I let it all out till I could not take it anymore. In those moments, I was nothing more than a snakelet craving for her mother’s affection.

I yearned for a hand that would stroke my head and whisper sweet nothings in my ears. I wanted someone to reach out to me to reassure me that everything is going to be fine. That it is just a phase that will pass away. And that one day, I would claim happiness.

It’s the end goal after all.

I cried till my heart shrank to a size three times smaller. I cried till the tangerine in the sky turned dark grey. Flocks of birds flew past the window.

It was lively outside to the extent of mesmerising any layperson with a vibrant heart. I was an exception. I did not bathe in the mist of dusk. I preferred sulking in the bean bag and binge-eating my emotions away. I ate like a starving pig who was having the last meal of its life. I ate like the world would end in the next second and I would be denied food till the heavens fell apart.

Well, in a way, I have been nothing but productive. I have utilised every nanosecond for the mission like the dedicated trooper I am. I fostered, invoked, and accepted the animosity. I recalled the harsh words Rudransh had spat on my face. I repeated them like a mantra and I tried to erase every pleasant memory I have ever had of him.

The good in him has to die before evil takes birth. I cannot tolerate anything less than that. Not my style, seriously! Only, I have another challenge coming.

It's a war of sentiments and sanity.

He is a selfish bastard. There cannot be anything good in him. He is arrogant, ignorant, and narcissistic. He manipulates and has no respect for anyone. He kills for power. He is trouble. A mistake you can never afford. I chant it, seeping it ever so slowly into my conscience so it can forward to my subconscious mind.

It must be firmly engraved.

'Around me, you can just be you without fretting over the opinions. I have none. I love the way you are. For me, you are perfect...' The filthy side of my brain replayed his words, exploding a warmth in my chest. 'No matter how many she-wolves I might see out there. It's in your shade that I want to sleep, Aary.' His husky voice echoes in my ear.

Bastard...he is a self-conceited demon. Demons should not be forgiven. They must be punished. The wolf never considered peace over violence. He initiated the war that cost me my kingdom. I clench my fist to the side, recalling the dead serpents.

‘I am lost in love with you. I can be whatever you want. Never ever doubt my love for you, Aary. The circumstances may make you question it. Know that, it’s just a conflict…’

Greedy, Beast, power-hungry demon...

‘Your love has made me heady. You are my strength. With you by my side, I am always the winner. I am the best of myself. I will paint myself in your colours…’

Cruel, lustful, self-centred...

‘You are my madness. You are my joy. You are my salvation. You are my only freedom.’

'ENOUGH!' I shriek at the top of my lungs as I cover my ears with my hands, dreading the scornful debate between my mind and heart. 'I HATE YOU. I MUST HATE YOU.' I yell and immediately hate how unconvincing my voice sounds.

I am hanging on the edge between the truth and a lie. It infuriates me, breaks me, and challenges me.

I punch the glass headboard, ending its life in a million pieces. I will make his whole empire crumble like this. I am not going to settle for anything less.

Suddenly, I am desperate. I want to be sure of my disputable sentiments towards my nemesis. I have to make a point. Else, I will always be this wandering soul taking a stroll in a paradise full of jasmines at the break of the spring where all of it would be captivating except the fragrance would suffocate me.

How? I chew centimetres of long fingernails until nothing but a few cuticles are left. My hair is assaulted next.

I have watched every single freaking video available on the internet about the ruckus. Not a single one can see the evil in Rudransh. There isn't a single article or comment against that piece of s**t.

And…and…I am a spoiled brat.

That ugly Vampire got married for the seventeenth time and I am the one who should learn to behave. What about them? What about these unleashed dogs? What about their illegitimate desires?

'UGH! AHHHHHHH!' I chug a vase on the opposite wall. Another antique item ceases to exist.

#Thomasdodgesthedog #Supremestumbles #LacklusterLuna #HighshyLuna #Ladiesinaction #futureleadersmyass

I could go on and on about the trending hashtags those morons out there shamelessly add on their pages. It blinks right at me. The saga of my disconcertment has not only been published, but it has also hit the bestseller list. Taking the internet by storm is just a side effect. I am minutely flustered.

‘This addict has become vapid.’ A user had commented with laughing emojis.

My vapidness would love to smack some sense in him.

‘Cheers!’ Another wrote with clinking glasses.

His teeth would look better on the ground or better as toppings.

‘Can I have some?’ The following goes on.

I'd like to have some of your arteries too.

‘Cheap drunks!’

You think you can afford the cheap in the wildest of your dreams.

The netizens had a gala day sharing memes amongst themselves. I have become a laughing stock. It ranges from hilarious to disgustingly vulgar.

For what? For outspeaking and spitting facts at a jerk's face. For standing up by the side of a vampiress who is forced to become his s*x slave. For having opinions that do not reconcile. For wanting to be admired.

For being drunk?

Not now, princess. Not now! I sighed.

I get thrashed for standing up for myself. My mistakes cannot be avoided because I am powerless...and worthless too. I'd be praised if I was perfect eye candy in Rudransh's arms, bowing at the snap of his fingers, and obliging his command with a small.

This world has to change.

The snaps were taken from a different angle and miraculously I was seen brawling something fresh in every single video. I indeed gave that i***t a good piece of my mind. There are dub smashes too. (Excruciatingly annoying!) However, the users preferred the original audio over made-up puns.

It somewhat makes me smug. And what’s up with the cosiness, comfortable feelings, huh? Wasn't I not promised that?

You wished!

A couple of weeks and I am already turning into Patty, the cow who has no better business than grazing green grass and dunking wherever it wants. I look around at the m******e I have created. The sheets beneath me are drenched in my blood. It feels like a troll has just passed through the room and did not like even a single ounce of it.

But…

Should I have done it? Did I really deserve to be hit? Could he not have silenced me otherwise?

It was unacceptable. I am sure if the original Luna were here, she would have been as mad as I was. She might even be heartbroken.

Silence.

I sit cross-legged on the bed to contemplate. There are a handful of things I’d have to figure out.

Since the moment I have shape-shifted, I have been trying to be the perfect Luna that Aaradhya was. I am sure if she had been around, she would have behaved and never been part of such a donnybrook.

Has Rudransh hit her before or is it the first time? I am sure she would never have done anything to deserve this.

You did not deserve it either. A small voice whispers. Stop trying to be Luna Aaradhya! Be the Queen Sarvayoni.

The Queen, I knew, would have completely ignored it and moved about with other important plans like getting ahead of time. Emotions weren’t her cup of tea. She was a very clever cobra, Sarva. She was so courageous that she denied shedding tears or breaking down. She was as complete as a zero. She did not need anything. Nagini elucidates.

Are you back? I gasped, startled. What the hell happened to your voice?

I was trapped. Anyways, it’s time to avenge, because revenge is savoury. She giggles evilly.