The Alpha Killed My Husband

42| What's The Point? (Tarifa's POV)

‘Twenty and a half years since that dreadful night when everything changed, Aaradhya. It has been twenty years.’ Tarifa breaks down. Her hiccups break my heart.

‘Twenty years of su-suffering.’ I wail as much, nodding my head like a lunatic as the thing starts to make much more sense than ever.

I never knew it was possible to time travel and be available in the present all at the same time. I am shivering pathetically in anticipation.

‘Twenty years.’ Tarifa starts without sparing me so much a glance. She was travelling down memory lanes. Her eyes are focused afar. Her head wobbles and her shoulders are slumped.

‘What exactly happened that night? How did my mother die, Tarifa? Tell me everything. I must know everything for I deserve nothing less.’ I highly doubt she has heard even a single tinge in my voice.

Tarifa is in her own world. Had she not been, she would have pinned me under a million questions. On anything, she is rather nonchalant.

‘Nakul was my only pup and Trupti was the only snakelet of her folks. She was lovely. She was my pup’s sunshine. In just six months she had become the daughter I have always wanted but never had. Honestly, I could barely differentiate her from any she-wolf out there. She was one amongst us. She was fascinated with all the things that made me happy, made us happy. There were no clashes of opinion. No difference. She was a normal being in her own world—just like us. She was not an enemy, Aaradhya. She did not deserve it. None of it.’ Tarifa wails at the top of her voice.

Her sobs echoed through the walls of this miserable room. From the eerie silence, I could tell that the room is used to it. It might have witnessed a mother’s tears countless times. It’s warm but not enough to comfort a heart going through the deepest of agonies.

‘You know, she made my son happy like nothing. I have never seen him so free and himself before he met her. Maybe in his childhood when he wasn’t a Pack Warrior. I was genuinely happy for them both. Vinayaka was happy for them. We have accepted them with open arms. But our races did not.’

‘How did it start? I want to know everything…from the beginning.’ I beg, joining my palms together.

‘You don’t know what I have been subject to, Tarifa. No one knows it but I and my soul. The humiliations, hatred, shame, agony, objections—I cannot bear it any longer. Tarifa!’ My despair is eternal. I deserve to know my past. My mother’s past. I am bound to unfold my destiny.

I want to understand the bitterness in my father’s heart who almost sold me out to a king who only wanted me for my vent. I want to know why I am so bitter and dreadful. I want to know about the female who birthed me and my biological father who has been forgotten by the clan he had served with his sweat and blood.

I pat grandma’s back, trying my best to console her when I, myself, need all the consolation in the world. My brain stopped working long ago. It’s better that way.

I watch her as she wipes her tears and pats the place beside her. I quietly get up and slid into the space. It doesn’t comfort me. An urge to put my head in her lap arises. I want to be pampered. I simply give in. Grandma doesn’t object. She lets me slide in her arms and pats my head as we flip through the pages of the past together.

Twenty years back...

(Tarifa’s POV)

The night sky illuminated the streets alongside the passing cars. The weather was as cold as it could get. I watched him intertwine his hands in hopes of warming up just a bit. I do not mimic his actions. Instead, I rub my palms all over my arms.

A small grin radiated on his face.

‘I do not understand you, mother. You yelled at me for being so loud when you were trying to sleep and now you are walking me to the store in thirteen degrees. Why are she-wolves so complicated?’ Nakul chuckled, looking over my shoulder. His instincts were alert as always when both of us knew we were strolling in the safest of the places out there.

Cape Comorin was our own town. It was the wolf’s territory but Nakul was trained to doubt the smooth waters. Being a spy, he has learnt to be alert and over-cautious. In his books, anything could be dangerous, even walking beside the she-wolf who had born him in her womb for three months. It was instilled in his instincts.

‘You’d leave tomorrow. I don’t know when I’ll be able to see you again. I want to spend time with my son. Is it a crime?’ I asked. I was not ashamed of whining in front of my only pup.

Once he was part of my body. He ate through me, drink through me, and lived through me. I went through eleven hours of labour to welcome him into this world. I had earned that right.

‘Ma!’ My pup sighed, shaking his head. By then, he had gotten used to all of my tantrums but I was not used to his absence which was rather frequent.

Down the years, only success had kissed his boots. He was sixteen when he joined the defence and at twenty-seven, he was far more accomplished than the wolves of his age. I was always proud of him. He was responsible, intelligent, and sincere in everything he did.

My heart always craved for him when he wasn’t in my eyesight, but it also used to swell in pride. I remember how I used to pray day and night for his well-being and safety and fight like anything when he was back.

I was a mother after all.

Travelling to places had become part of his routine. I hated his job. It was just way too risky for me. I’d rather have him in the cocoon of our two-storey home at Vignaharta Street but I respected his choices. Besides, the pack needed him more than I did.

For a mother, their pups are their whole life. They’d sacrifice themselves. I was helpless. I’m sure motherhood is the same between the seven heavens. Be it serpent, wolves, or any other race out there—mothers are mothers.

Thrice I had almost lost my son when he went to missions but each time, he was back with a few wounds and a tantalizing smile instilling the faith that Moon Goddess was taking care of him.

A whole room of our house was dedicated to his trophies and certificate. My son was very dedicated to his work. Besides, he was patriotic. He was following his father’s footprints. Like him, he too wanted to serve the pack. Our race had been through a lot in the past years.

Cape Comorin wasn’t the most developed nation back then. And serpents were just too powerful.

Each ceasefire at the border used to be a blow to our economy. Whenever a body was discovered, the pack used to weep. In the challenging times, I was happy that at least he was helping his pack.

He was an identity every one of us was proud of. My Nakul Rao. He was admired, appreciated, and loved by millions of mothers.

‘When would you be back?’ I asked him politely, trying to cover the hoarseness in my voice. I was always unsure whenever he went on a mission, but at that time I was specifically restless.

Now looking back, I think it was a mother’s instinct.

‘Soon.’ He replied, averting his eyes. I knew he was hiding something. Yet I did not push too much.

Reflecting, I think my pup knew the destiny ahead. He had felt that he would never be out of it. Still, he smiled like a hero.

And my, His smiles! My world used to light up when I saw him smiling. It was rare but always pleasant. Apparently, the training did not teach them to smile and live and be carefree. I was happy that my son had not forgotten it.

He was almost mechanical, surrounded by threats all around. I hardly doubt anyone can smile in those situations. But he was strong.

‘I will find you a mate by the time you’d be back since you aren’t promising. You will settle by the end of this year. I am tired waiting for you everything.’ I had commanded him in a stern voice, ignoring the darkness in my heart.

‘So, you are gonna search for someone to wait for me? How wonderful, mother!’ He chuckled playfully. He was always like that—teasing his mother privately and obliging her publicly.

‘Yes.’ I fumed. I did not like how lightly he handled those matters. Just like other mothers, I wanted to see my pup settled with a mate who’d keep him happy. Alas, I was so wrong.

‘Ma, what if I fall in love with a serpent?’ Nakul asked me casually. He was looking at the other side, making it harder for me to decipher his expressions. His voice had come out in soft mumbles.

‘You’d fall in love with the enemy?’ I asked incredulously, more like gasped in astonishment listening to it coming out of my patriotic son’s mouth. ‘They kill us. You have to be away from me for months because they are unbearably cruel.’ I reminded him.

‘Not all of them are enemies, Ma. They reciprocate what we serve them. They are just civilians like us. They too laugh and live and are afraid of wars. They too have sorrows and problems just like us. They are no different than us, Ma. Their ruler is our enemy. The clashes are political. Anyways, what’d you do if I bring a serpent home some day?’ He persisted playfully.

I thought over it for a while before answering.

‘Could it be you’ve already found a girlfriend in Sarp-Samrajya?’ I raised my doubt, making my pup c***k into chuckles. He shook his head disbelievingly but did not deny it.

My heart dropped in my stomach.

‘I just want to know if I bring some deviliously gorgeous serpent female home some day. Answer it as a hypothetical question, Ma. What would you do if I bring a beautiful serpent home?’ He shrugged his shoulder. ‘I have heard their females are unimaginably beautiful.’ He winked at me. ‘In fact, I have confirmed it with my own eyes.’

‘And ours are ugly?’ I pushed harder, dodging the question that I have no answer to…even hypothetically.

‘No, we have stunning beauties too. But females are...umm...you know what I mean. Don’t make me say it. You are my mother. I only want to know how desperate you are to find someone who would wait for me.’ His ears had turned crimson. ‘Can she be a female? An enemy as you put it?’

‘Why would you?’ I deadpanned.

‘Why not? I may fall in love with her as an individual. Love is a strong emotion, Ma. It can overlook her status as a potential enemy.’ Nakul explained the obvious but the intensity in his voice is tremendous.

It did something to me.

We walked for some time in silence. I was still going through his proposal. What would I do if my pup brings a crawling creature into my house tomorrow that my pack dread so much? The she-wolves society would have my head. I would be a laughing stock. Many would even deny seeing me ever again. It would be considered treason.

It’s unacceptable given the prevalent circumstances. Would I still accept her because my pup is in love with her? Would I be able to love her? Would I be able to protect her from the wolves of my society?

This hatred was much deeper twenty years back. The wounds were fresh and bleeding. I was terrified of the humiliation. But was the derogation more impactful than my pup’s happiness?

Does it even matter? Oh, it had to matter. It concerned the future of my family.

‘You wouldn’t be able to get her pregnant. What’s the point in a relationship that cannot make something as beautiful as a pup?’ I blurted out aloud, catching my son off guard. ‘You must continue the legacy.’

It was my final stroke. If he had an answer to it…the look he gave answered it all. It still gives me goosebumps.

My pup was different from the rest of us. How could his love life be ordinary? I think I had offended him in more than one way.

Destiny was taking an ugly turn disguised as a blessing. Blinded in my son’s affection, I could not see the apparent truth.

Lost in thoughts, I did not realize we had stopped talking. The store was about ten seconds from where we were standing but I did not see a need for me to enter it. It was getting dark and isolating and chilly too but there was a fire in him.

Nakul was burning in her love. How could I have been so blind to not notice it early?

As far as I am concerned, I despised darkness and isolation but fire? Could I have prevented the burn myself? My she-wolf proved me wrong that night. Her shivering fingers clasped the handle and she slightly pushed the door open ahead of our pup. The welcoming bell chimed as she slowly made me step in.

Nakul was silent, but I could read his eyes.