The Alpha Killed My Husband

40| Schlong Shenoy

With shaky fingers, I open the inbox. My heart thumps at an imaginable speed in anticipation while sweats clamp my hand and tickle my forehead.

The sizzling breeze ruffles my hair, blocking the vision for a fraction of a second yet it could not slither my concrete determination. A new emotion overpowers. Its intensity doesn’t leave space for fear, doubts, or moments to contemplate. Unfortunately, it is too much for me to name. It’s a line drawn on a surface to be never erased.

I am nervous, excited, jittery, heavy-headed, and... giddy. I want to dance, cry, giggle, weep, live, and die simultaneously. It’s insensibly sensible and unbelievingly believable. My thoughts are wrecked, and my brain is going through havoc. Still, my soul is at peace.

There was something about the wiggling icon that was oddly satisfying. There is a little part of me that has been waiting for a word from Rudransh. The part that has been dying to read his thought, listen to his concerns, and know how much I mean to him. It’s the part that has been dreading the abandonment. It is the part that was hurt, exuded night.

I want to understand him, his emotions. I want to know how he feels after wolfhandling me, harassing me—hitting me at his disposal and making me feel like trash. I want to listen to how his heart bleeds from the agony that he has pushed upon me.

The cosy cafe, crowd, my two assistants, the essay, competition, revenge, strategies, frustration—everything has vanished. Only desperation remains rigid.

Rudransh regrets it.

If I am not mistaken, I have read him like an open book. He does. It was written all over his face the moment that despaired friction between us evaporated. It wasn’t intentional, rather it was an emotional fit. I know every bit of it. I have seen it passing by But I am curious. I am giddy to know what he feels now when hours have passed away and anger has subsided.

How he’d explain his actions and beg for forgiveness. Or whether he’d justify his acts, accusing me like all the other times my, good for anything but fatherhood, father had done it.

‘Is everything alright?’ Somewhere my brain registers a familiar voice. I look up to find Avika and Lixin craning their necks my way. Lixin is more concerned, all gushy and I-will-forever-be-there-for-you type while Avika has pretty complex expressions.

It could be she has read the recipient’s name. Whatsoever, my reaction does not please her. I do not care. It’s my moment. I must live in it.

Gosh, my hands itch to open the email. I won’t unless I am in the right state of mind and perfect solitude.

Open it, goddammit. Nagini commands impatiently. It makes me coy. At least there is somewhere to reconcile our emotions. I cannot blame her when my state isn’t any better either.

With shivering fingers, I click the email open.

____________________________________

R

{Theirresisablewolf@AlphaR.com}

16/4/2022 5:20 PM

To the Queen of my heart,

I have left something with Tarifa for you. IT IS IMPORTANT.

I AM EMPHASISING NOT COMMANDING OR YELLING OR DEMANDING.

IT IS URGENT AND VERY, SUPER, DUPER, BUFFER IMPORTANT. PLEASE DO NOT IGNORE IT OR THROW IT.

I know I am asking too much when I have been nothing but a rotten potato. You have every right to be mad at me. Stay mad. No, don’t. Just a little bit—ugh! I am horrible. I know. Still, please don’t tear it up before giving it a thought. You will be doing me a huge favour.

We have been through so much together, my love. I know we will go through these testing times too. I promise.

Words cannot express how sorry I am, Aary. Actions can. I will be back in no time—all yours—only yours—at your mercy.

I know you’d rather burn your fingers but reply. And had I texted you on your phone, the poor device might have met its holy end. Which is why I am emailing you. You would rather smack me in the shine but throw your laptop. Tehe. Jargon obsession! I agree he is cuteeeeeee.

You see what I did there.

For his sake, I will shamelessly ask you to reply. I will keep flooding your inbox till you do. You can spam me, block me, flag me. It won’t stop.

I only want to know if you have read it.

—Rudransh Schlong Shenoy

The Wolf at your mercy, packed in the jet with utmost safety.

P.S: I love you to Pluto and back.

________________________________________________________________

I blink. Again. One more time. What is the burning hell was that? Is it how the most intelligent and handsome wolf on the planet apologizes? I swear even a toddler can do better than that.

I am silent for a second. Maybe longer than that. He has left something with Tarifa that he wants me to go through. Okay. What could that be? A present? There are chances he’d make it up with an expensive gift.

This is how the male works, isn’t it? They think expensive perfumes, exotic lingerie, and tempting chocolate can solve the ozone layer depletion if it were a female.

It’s darn irksome.

‘Both of you, go get the car ready!’ I snap at my head maid and Omega. ‘A match this Sunday. Prepare! Winner will be rewarded. Loser will be punished.’ I pant, fanning my face.

I try, really hard, to avert my eyes. I simply cannot. The email is still there. All real and concrete of my stupendously s**t beggar antagonist.

His alibi skills suck big time. No kidding. Nagini is hostile.

You tell me. I agree.

‘Are you okay, Luna? You are shivering and... red?’ Lixin bows at my level. He peers at my face intently. His straight eyebrow knits in hagride as his slanted almond eyes go through my face.

‘I am absolutely fine, Lixin. Just get the car ready. I want to go home,’ I tell him firmly. ‘Now.’

He nods and gestures with his fingers. In a second, our chauffer comes running. I don’t bother checking up on his appearance or even acknowledging his presence. I am more interested in my property with Tarifa. Nevertheless, I am allowed to ponder deeper for a whole minute.

The rather chummy chauffeur is trained to perform his duty professionally.

In less than a minute, he humbly bows, collects my belongings and exists with a scruple moment. Clearly, handling twenty-something volumes in one hand and my bag in another is a cakewalk for him.

‘What was that?’ Avika asks once we were out of Lixin’s earshot. I shake my head and hop in the car. She makes a face that lets me know the interrogation isn’t over and that she will be on my back sooner than I can count to a hundred.

It gets dark by the time we are back in the Mansion. Tarifa greets us at the patio where she is arranging the dishes on the table. As I walk past her, she looks up and gives me her iconic wrinkled smile.

Please give me what Rudransh has left with you. Pretty please.

‘You are back?’ She coos, patting my head lightly as she ruffled my hair.

‘Tarifa.’ I giggle like a schoolgirl when internally I am on toes impatiently, the familiar tinges in my body can be ignored, but for the time being, the nerve-wracking anticipation cannot be.

However, I can never be rude to this she-wolf. My conscience does not let me. It compels me to respect her, obey, and give her all the affection in the world. This she-wolf has a soft spot unknowingly.

‘What have you prepared? Oh, let me guess! Kimchi?’ I squeal excitedly to see her face break into one of the most beautiful grins I have ever seen. It flatters my heart.

Come-the-f**k-on. Get on the point. Apparently, Nagini doesn’t agree.

Tarifa shakes her head, making me pout and I want to jump in her arms.

‘It’s lobsters. I will cook it tomorrow if you are craving. You were never into Kimchi. How was your day, Dear? Did you finish drafting the essay?’ She asks, arranging the dishes. I slam the laptop on the table and plop on a vacant chair. Avika and Lixin stand at some distance with other staff. I ignore Avika giving me the dirty eye and fidget with the hem of my dress.

‘Nah!’ I sigh, strolling a little bit.

Sarvayoni, I am going to slap you. Get the thing already. I will crap my pant.

Gee, calm down, Nagini. I am on it.

I can see that. Kimchi? How can that be in your mind right now? I’d rather want to see you calm when I’ll be smacking your head on the wall. ASK. YOU HEAR ME! ASK.

Okay. Okay. Give me a second. Ahem!

‘It is more complicated than I thought, Tarifa. I thought for hours but could not finish a single line. I don't know where to begin.’ I whined, putting my head on the table.

I am gonna finish you off in a single line. Wait!

Tarifa giggles. ‘You are always a drama queen, my child—’

And a pain in the ass.

‘—How hard can it be to write about one's self and soulmate?’

‘You have no idea.’

Ask me!

I roll my eyes. ‘You are fortunate, Tarifa. You don’t have to go through this torture. But I did read several essays. Some of them were okay-ish. Three were awesome! Such heavy vocabulary, philosophical, and engaging. I could not put them down. I am so very impressed. It was perfect.’

‘Oh, really! Which one are you talking about? There are quite a few that have fascinated me.’

I raise my eyebrows at her chiming tone.

‘You have read all of them?’ I gape. This old she-wolf is impossible.

Not more than you, you b***h.

‘Rajaprakash Wick Rimesaruke.’ Her mouth forms an ‘O’.

‘Umm Tarifa, do you have something that’s mine?’

Finally! Nagini sighs.

Tarifa pauses for a fraction of time which feels like an eternity. She gives me a soft look and then nods slowly.

‘He gave me before going. It’s in the lower cabinet in my room. Go get it. Be back shortly. The food will turn cold.’ Her voice is melodious.

I am up on my feet. Speed? Chase me, wolves!