The Omegas Second Chance

Chapter 11

Shayna

Way to go, Shayna. Insert foot here. I wanted to mentally smack my cheek to see if I was really that stupid, and idiotic enough to invite this conversation. Patrick stood there waiting for me to give him an answer and, if I was honest with myself, he seemed a bit sheepish. I didn't see any way out of this, so I bit my lip for a moment to gather my thoughts and prepare myself for this. I needed to heal anyway, and I had been through far worse than bullying in high school.

Patrick gestured towards the bench I had been sitting on earlier. I took hesitant steps towards the bench and took deep breaths. I wasn't scared. Not truly. I was more so dreading bringing up painful memories and the emotions that going through them again would bring up. He took slow and measured steps towards the bench, and I was shocked by the way he seemed to make sure all of his movements were noticeable and small. He sat close to me but enough that I still had some distance, my own personal bubble.

The smells of basil, tomatoes, and Italian seasonings fluttered all around me, causing my mouth to water. There were leaves falling around, marking the change in seasons. The air was constantly moving with a breeze, and it felt chilled on my flushed cheeks. People walked all around us, focused on their day. This town was much larger than I remembered. It used to be so small, everybody knew who you were. The gossip chain ran so fast that you had minutes before the whole town knew about whatever you did or didn't do, who you did or didn't sleep with. It still has a small-town vibe, but there is a hustle and bustle about the city that seems to have started to plant seeds here in Tamino Falls.

"So...." I peeked at Patrick from under my lashes, unable to quite look him in the eye. Genetics and designations were hard to overcome. "I" I started, but he interrupted me at the same time.

"I'm sorry" he didn't stutter, didn't mumble. It was direct and clear to the point.

"What?" I couldn't stop myself from looking at him this time. His green eyes were filled with regret and another emotion I couldn't quite put my finger on. Perhaps remorse? Remorse invokes deeper feelings. Guilt, sorrow, regret, grief all tied into one package with a pretty little bow on it. You can regret something but not feel remorse for it at the same time. But was this what Patrick was truly feeling? Was he only apologizing to feel absolved of all the pain he put me through before? Was he doing this for himself or because he was truly sorry?

"I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. For everything. I mean that is a pretty blanket thing to say, and it doesn't really paint me in a good light. Not that I'm trying to paint myself like anything. I'm messing this all up" he said while scrubbing a hand down his face and back up and into his red hair. "There's not one specific thing over the other that I'm sorry for more. I can't pick just one because, unfortunately, there were so many. I..I don't think you want to relive them all and listing them all wouldn't make it any less true or change the past. I don't have an excuse for how I treated you back then other than I was a dumb and idiotic teenager. I was a boy who didn't understand the consequences of my actions and, looking back, I am ashamed of my younger self. I could blame it on hormones, or my designation hitting me, but that would just be an excuse and only add to the stigma that Alphas already have. That we're just dumb mindless breeding machines. I guess similar to Omegas. Not that I'm calling you a dumb and mindless breeding machine because you're not. f**k. I really am putting my foot in my mouth here."

I chuckled a bit at his twist of words and the way he seemed to be tripping over what he wanted to say mentally, and it was translating into our conversation. I was starting to realize he was nothing like the cocky teenager that I knew. And while I was so angry at them growing up, and still kind of hurt by their actions, I can kind of understand them. I have a teenager. I see their attitudes, their struggles, their personalities every day. Miles is an amazing kid, but he absolutely has his bad days. He definitely has days he makes me want to ring his neck or pick him up by his scruff the way I would a puppy.

"I really am sorry for the bullying. The torment that I put you through. I can't speak for anyone else and I know you deserve an apology from more people than just me, but it's a start. I know a lot of people regret their actions from our younger years. We've grown and evolved. We've learned that our parents were right when they called us little shits and told us that we would regret our behavior in the future. I never thought they would be right about that, but boy was I wrong. I have changed. I am still a jerk, but I don't derive pleasure from causing people pain. Not anymore. Not that I ever did. I just thought I did. Working in the industry that I do, seeing the way people treat my employees, my family, friends, and even other customers really put things into perspective for me. It had me reevaluating everything about what I do, how I communicate, and how I treat others. I am only an asshole when people deserve it, and you definitely didn't deserve it."

I took in his words, savoring each apology and analyzing every point he made. I couldn't sense any lies on his tongue and I couldn't detect any hidden malice in his aura. He had made eye contact with me the entire time he spoke and when he stopped looking at me, I reached out and grabbed his hand. His face jerked to mine before looking at where I placed my hand. I gave him a shy and timid smile.

"We are all working on changing. I am not the girl I used to be. I've been through far worse than what you put me through. Than any of your group of delinquents put me through back then. Not that it's worth going into because that is not a story I'm ready to divulge yet. But I guess what I'm trying to say is that I accept your apology. It will take me some time to not remember all the cruel things said to me and done to me but I can start with forgiveness, and we can go from there. So, truce?" I asked and held up my hand.

Patrick smiled brightly and took my hand and squeezed it in confirmation. "Truce" he said, and then frowned.

"I know you said you don't want to talk about it, or that its not worth talking about. I will respect that boundary, for now. But, Shayna, are you in danger?"

I jolted a little bit at the directness of his question. My eyes widened, and he seemed to realize my line of thinking before I could say anything.

"It's just I remember the other night and I saw..." he shook his head as if he wanted to rid the image of me without make-up on, covered in scars and bruises from his head. "I just want to make sure you're safe. I NEED to make sure you're safe, both for my sanity and my wolfs. I couldn't ever forgive myself if I knew something was happening and didn't do anything to stop it"

"I.." I started trying to think of a lie but couldn't. So I decided to go with the best truth I could think of. "I'm safe, for now."