RIZ
We got home peacefully, and even though I felt sleepy, I held it back. Justin is leaving for Manila today, and I don’t know when he’ll be back. I went straight to the bedroom and left Justin in the living room because he was still talking to Manang. I decided to take a quick shower because the air felt sticky earlier. I didn’t bother to wash my hair again; I was afraid it would become completely dry. I put on a pair of walking shorts and a T-shirt, feeling a sense of relief.
It was dim in the room, so I pulled back the curtains. Light flooded the space immediately. I didn’t realize there was a sliding door, and the patio here has access to the garden where the swimming pool is located. Even though I haven’t been here long, I already feel like I don’t want to leave. The simplicity of the place and the fresh air appealed to me. It’s far from Manila, where it’s noisy and smoky. Life in the province is different. The pace is just right, and there’s no rush. I noticed there aren’t many flowers in the garden. There are plenty of plants, but they’re all green.
I heard my cell phone ring, so I went back inside the room to grab it from my bag. It was Mom. I hesitated to answer, but in the end, I pressed accept.
“’Nay,” I replied.
“Arizona, where have you been? I called your father’s house, but the maid answered, and she even handed it over to that witch of a stepmother of yours,” she said irritably. Before I could respond, she continued, “Did you run away? Oh my God, Arizona! Things are already good for you there, and you still ran away?!”
I almost went deaf from her loud voice, so I slightly moved the phone away from my ear. I walked around outside.
“I did not—”
“What happened? Do you know that Liberty told me she’s missing some jewelry and you probably took it?”
Blood rushed to my head, but I held back my anger. Running away and being kicked out are two different things. And how could I have stolen jewelry from Liberty when I didn’t even take the things Dad gave me?
“Don’t tell me you’re with a guy and you’re going to blame me for it! What about your sibling’s tuition? It’s due tomorrow, and your uncle just got fired. He had a fight with his supervisor. Even during break time, they made him work. Damn this life!”
With all that she said, she didn’t even bother to ask how I was, like she used to. And nothing has changed: it was all complaints and problems. I didn’t want to blame her because even though she didn’t want me, she still chose to raise me. I still owe her my life.
She passed on her problems about paying for my siblings’ education and her husband’s job loss to me.
“The rent is due at the end of the month, and we’re running low on rice,” she added.
“’Nay, this is how it is—” Once again, she cut me off. Sometimes I don’t understand why she calls me if she doesn’t want to let me speak. She could have just texted me so I could read everything at once. She hasn’t even spent much on the call. But as she said, unlimited calls and texts are the trend now.
“Don’t tell me you don’t have any money? Come on, Arizona, with all the money your father has, can’t you ask for a little? You’re his only heir, and that bastard of a wife he has is barren. It’s no wonder she has a bad attitude; her womb must be messed up.” I could still hear my mother’s mocking laughter.
I closed my eyes and waited for her to finish saying whatever she had to say. She really is blunt and doesn’t care about offending anyone. Donnabelle is someone you don’t bring to a company party; otherwise, you’ll be jobless the next day. Maybe it’s one of the reasons why she and Dad didn’t work out, aside from her cheating on him.
“Arizona, are you still there?” she asked irritably.
“I’m here, ’Nay.” I didn’t even know where to begin. Should I tell her that I’m married and it’s temporary? Or should I first tell her that I’m pregnant and she’s going to be a grandmother?
“Why aren’t you speaking? I feel like I’m talking to myself here, but no one is answering. What’s happening with you, kid?”
“I wanted to—”
“Wait a second.” She covered the mouthpiece, but I could still hear her. “Honey, can you buy me something to eat from the corner? I’m too lazy to cook. The kids aren’t here, and we have the house to ourselves.”
I am officially grossed out. I could clearly hear her flirting with her husband. At their age, my mom still acts like a teenager. She has a great figure and naturally isn’t overweight, even though she has three children.
“Child, maybe you could send me a little something. I’m really short on cash. Just two thousand would help. You can send the rest when you’re able, okay? You have my number.”
She didn’t even say goodbye properly and didn’t wait for my response. Before the call ended, I heard her squeal with a mix of flirtation and teasing with her husband. I rubbed my face and looked up at the sky.
I want to know what I did wrong in the past to deserve such treatment from my own mother. The only thing that matters to her is the family she built. I was never invited to their birthdays or special holidays. I never experienced a sleepover with my siblings.
As harsh as it sounds, my mother treats me like a mere tool. The things she couldn’t get from Dad because of her mistakes, she projects onto me. I am nothing but a tool for her and a forever access to Dad’s fortune.
“Why the long face?” Justin asked me. What’s with his footsteps that I didn’t hear him coming?
“Nothing.”
His brow furrowed. “You’re almost crushing your cell phone, but you’re not angry about anything? You haven’t told me about your family yet.” He guided me to a bench in the garden.
“There’s nothing to tell. I don’t have a family.”
His frown deepened. “Carlos is not your family?”
I rolled my eyes. “He is my father. I’m his bastard.”