Hate To Love You, Love To Hate You

Why Are You Everywhere I go?

I declined Claudia’s offer. As soon as I did so, I saw Austin relax. I didn’t care for him. I didn’t decline her offer because of him but because, one, I didn’t have the time. I was working and, after work, I had another job. I know these two would go to some lavishing restaurant that would be way out of my range. I couldn’t even afford food from my local deli, let alone some expensive eatery. And there is no way that I will let Claudia pay for me. I would rather stay away from things I can’t afford than make others pay for me. I have to keep my dignity and pride alive somewhere.

“Aw, I was hoping to spend some time together, but I guess – some other time? Can we stay in touch?” She asked.

I had the urge to tell her, no, but that would only be a barrier between me and the confession I wanted out of her, so I nodded my head, “Sure”. I glanced at Austin curiously, looking between Claudia and me. I could hear his thought process. A surprised smile curled on Claudia’s face, I guess – she wasn’t expecting me to agree to stay in touch. I would never have agreed to it if it wasn't a necessity.

“Do you have the same number?” She asked. I nodded my head, “Great! I still got it. I will stay in contact with you.” I deleted her number ages ago, yet she still has mine. Right after paying and collecting her dress, she and Austin walked out of the store, but not before he gave me a bitter look. I chose to ignore him and resume my shift. Janet was trying to ask why and how I knew someone like Claudia, but I chose to stay silent on this matter.

After my shift was over, I told Andrew about my meeting with Claudia. Andrew was relieved to hear that. He asked me not to rush into anything and just keep an eye on her. He told me to try to make Claudia feel comfortable around me before fishing out for the confession. I agreed with him. This could be my chance to get closer to her to get my hands on more vivid evidence – maybe – just maybe, I will be able to bring myself to go to her house and try to find something – anything that will help Officer Andrew crack this case wide open.

The rest of my weekend went uneventful. I didn’t see Claudia nor did I hear from her. The weekdays rolled in and she still didn’t contact me. I wondered if she changed her mind or if maybe she was busy living her extravagant life. Either way, I can’t spend my time worrying about it too much. I had other things to do.

For the next three days, I worked and I worked. Neither Officer Andrew nor Claudia contacted me. It was fine by me. As Andrew said earlier, I can’t rush Claudia or she will be suspicious. Austin was already on my case. One mistake and I lose everything, so I kept calm and spend my days doing what I do.

By the time Wednesday rolled in, my schedule for semester exams was out. I only had two weeks to prepare for my exams before the holidays. During those ten days, I will at least have Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday nights to spend with my family. It feels like it has been forever since I last had a meal with mom and Daniel. But for now, I had to focus on my exam preparations. After my class ends, I usually go back home, but tonight I stayed back and decided to go to a library to study.

Since it was 10:10 pm, the small library close to my apartment would be closed, but there is one library near the restaurant I work at. It is open 24/7. It was the only place I could study peacefully, so I went there. The area was quite far from where I lived, so I called my mom on the way to the library.

“Mom, I might not come home tonight.”

“What? Why? Are you working again? Please don’t work that much.” She sounded worried.

I smiled, “No, mom. I am going to the library to study. I have exams coming up,” I replied.

“Why can’t you stay at home and study? I can cook you something and I will also stay up with you and make your coffee,” She suggested.

I sighed. I wish I could do that, “Mom, you know we don’t have enough space for me to study there. It will only disturb your and Daniel's sleep. And, anyway, I prefer studying at the library. Lory comes back home drunk in the middle of the night, and you know how loud he can be. I will not be able to focus.” Lory is our neighbor. He is not a bad person, but he is an alcoholic and each night he returns home completely drunk and decides to be extremely loud.

I heard my mother sigh, “Where will you sleep, sweetheart?”

“If I get sleepy, I will take a nap in the library. Don’t worry about me. I will be back first thing in the morning, okay? Please don’t forget to take your medicine before you sleep. I will see you in the morning.”

After my mom asked me to text her when I reached the library safely, she hung up. I could hear the concern in her voice, but she and I both knew that I had no other option. I have to get good grades to pass on to my final year. I just need to complete this degree next year, so I can get a better job somewhere.

By 11 pm, the bus dropped me near the library. I will have to walk there. It was hardly a couple of blocks away, so I didn’t mind walking. I wrapped my jacket around myself and looked up at the sky. It hasn’t snowed yet this season, but as cold as the night is getting, I am sure it will happen in a few days. Thankfully, back at home, I was able to get the heater fixed last winter and now my mother and Daniel can sleep peacefully at night.

Since it was cold, I was wearing jeans. My feet were covered with two pairs of socks and my old black ankle boots that I hadn’t grown out of since high school. Even with all of them on, my toes were cold – they always are. Even during the heated days of summer, they are cold. I was wearing a blue sweater and over it, I had my mom’s black jacket on. My handbag was strapped to my shoulder with my books, notes, and laptop in it. I kept my hair down, it helps in keeping my ears warm.

I had my head lowered as I walked to the library. Just before I was about to walk into the place. I heard someone take my name from behind, “Luna, is that you?” I turned around to see Theo standing there with his hands in his jacket pockets. I frowned, as I didn’t expect him to be there. I looked behind him to see Claudia, another woman – whom I didn’t recognize, and that bloody Austin standing – all of them looking at me.

“Oh, umm – hi,” I didn’t expect them to be there as well. It is like they are everywhere – as if they can’t stay home or stick to one hanging point.

Theo walked towards me with a big smile on his face. I was confused. Why was he walking up to me? I stood in my place, holding my bag by the shoulder strap. He stopped right in front of me. His eyes went up at the building, “Are you going to the library?” He asked.

I glanced at Claudia, Austin, and the other girl behind his shoulder. Claudia was curiously looking at us as she walked up to us as well, the other girl was following her, and Austin – he just stood in his place. He had his hands on his leather jacket. His eyes were narrowed at me, while he scowled. He did not look pleased to see me here – too bad for him, he can sulk to his death for all I care.

I looked back at Theo, “Uh, yes.” I scratched my eyebrow. I didn’t want to waste my time chitchatting with him or anyone at the moment. I have a lot to study tonight.

Theo raised his eyebrows and looked down at the watch strapped to his wrist, “It is so late. Are you sure you will be okay staying up so late?” He asked. I couldn’t fathom why he was concerned about it. I meant nothing to him. I don’t even know him – the most I know about him is his name and the fact that he is Claudia’s friend. “Are your exams near?” He added.

I nodded my head, “Yes.” I wasn’t in the mood to have this conversation with him.

I looked beside him as Claudia walked towards us. She smiled and put her hand on my shoulder, “Hey! What are you doing here? Are you going back home from work?” She asked. I noticed how she had her hand on his shoulder. Theo kept his eyes fixed on me.

I looked at her and shook my head, “No, I was coming to the library to study.” I answered.

“Oh,” She nodded her head. She chuckled, “You are still the same nerdy Luna. I remember how much you used to spend your time in the library when we were in high school.” Her words were like salt to my wounds. Of course, I used to spend most of my time in the library then, because I had no other choice! I had to work hard to get the scholarship which she ended up snatching from me anyway.

Theo politely smiled at me. He ignored the comment Claudia made. “Hey, do you want anything? Shall I get you some coffee or anything to eat?” He asked.

I couldn’t comprehend what was with him. Why is he so nice to me? I am not going to lie, but being asked if I needed anything sure felt nice. No one ever asks me that, except for my mother. I always have to do everything on my own. It felt nice even when I was unaware of his intention behind it. I shook my head, “No, I am fine.” I could have said it more politely, but I was baffled by his kindness. I am not used to it.

Theo softly nodded his head. I should have said thank you for offering his help, and I thought I would, but before I could speak, Austin decided to step in. Why couldn’t he just stand behind – away from me? I watched him as he glanced at me before he looked at Claudia – who was looking at Theo. She was looking at him in the same way as Austin looked at her. And at that moment, it clicked.

She likes Theo. I looked at Austin, who was solemnly staring at her before I looked at Theo – who was looking at me with a gentle smile on his face. It all started to make sense to me. Austin likes Claudia, but Claudia likes Theo, and Theo – I am not sure what he wants. I squinted my eyes, shall I get closer to Theo to get closer to Claudia? No, that will become messy. And, I shouldn’t even be thinking about it right now – I need to focus on my exams!

“Why are we still here?” Austin dryly asked Claudia, while glancing at me.

Theo heaved a sigh as he softly rolled his eyes. He turned to look at Austin and smiled. I could tell it was a forced smile, “Why don’t you take Claudia and Donna home?” He asked Austin.

Claudia frowned, “What about you?” She asked him – putting her hand on Theo’s arm. Austin and I simultaneously watched her do so.

“I have things to do.” He shrugged.

This time Claudia glanced at me before she looked back at him, “What things?” She asked.

Theo chuckled and politely removed her hand from his arm, “Just some things, Claudia. How about you get home? I will see you all later.” Theo smiled before he looked at me. “I hope I see you soon as well, Luna. It is always nice meeting you.” He said to me before he waved us all goodbyes and off he went. I watched as he walked away from us.

I was confused. Theo is so nice. I always feel suspicious of people when they are nice. The nicest people have always been meanest to me. I looked at Claudia.

“Umm, I have to go in as well,” I muttered and pointed my thumb behind me. Claudia slowly nodded her head. I don’t think she was even listening – she looked zoned out, while Austin was looking at her. I glanced at Austin and Donna before I turned around and walked up the stairs to get into the library.

“Come on, Claudia, let me take you home.” I heard Austin’s voice before I walked into the library.