The 10 reasons why

? LETTER ONE to mom

song for chapter : When She Loved Me

by Sarah McLachlan

Bex p.o.v

Dear mom your my first reason I know you wont be able to read it. but I had to write in any ways. The day you died was one of the worst days in my life.

I watched you for y month slowly fade away and yes I know ot not your fault but i felt like it was mine. I always thought i could have done something more. Little did any body know that the day u passed i made my first cut ot wasn't so I could kill my self or anything like that i just did want to feel the pain of losing you.

so now it been exactly 1,460 day since you passed we had this big funeral for you but I didn't go because I was scared and I was not ready shit im still not ready to except the fact that your dead i miss you so much it not the same no more around here it feels as if the colors are slowly fading away.

If im being honest i think you would be very disappointed in the way I turned out after you died. I think that honestly my biggest regret is the fact the I did do what I promised to do. I mean at least i graduate right nah im kidding i barely passed school. I was an hot mess.

Now that that's out the way I really want to tell you i love you. i honestly loved everything about you. and i couldn't have asked for a better mom thank you so much for rising me.

❤ love your daughter Bex