PHOENIX

2. WHAT WENT WRONG?

When you are in a relationship with a person you love, you learn to love their flaws. Jackson was not an ideal guy to be in a relationship with and he knew that too.

That being said though he couldn't help but ask himself what went wrong in his relationship with Melissa. She was always so carefree around him and they will talk and do a lot of things together, things he can't even bear to look at or do anymore because they always remind him of her, and every time she pops into his mind he is always a mess.

He had so much planned out, he knew he was going to marry her one day and have kids. He knew if he was financially stable from the start, they were going to get married, and then he would've found out she was playing him from the get-go.

On the other hand, he was grateful he got to know the kind of person she was before it was too late. He couldn't help but wonder if all this happened when they already had a child or two. What was going to happen to their kids?

In other words, this was a blessing in disguise. Maybe she never even wanted to have kids with you, pretence or not. You're just imagining things, she never wanted you. His subconscious told him.

No matter how much he wanted to tell his subconscious that it wasn't the truth, he knew it could be. If Melissa ever loved him then having kids, in the long run, was something she also wanted but if she never did then kids were not even part of the equation. It was a sad truth but it needed to be told.

All his life he knew he was different from other kids, knew he was never going to like them and maybe living a normal life was also something he could never have.

He used to think that living in foster homes while growing up was what fucked up his life but the truth is it was even better during that time because not only did he have a home to go to every day, he had people surrounding him, maybe not the ideal family but still he had a family.

Especially the ones that took him in during the senior year, they were nicer the all the previous ones combined. They understood he needed a home and they also needed the money he was coming with but they weren't willing to use it for unnecessary things.

He supposed he should thank them because even though the money that was left was not going to last him even a month in college but it was there and he knew if he was still staying with the previous foster family he wouldn't even have a single penny. For that he was grateful.

He still remembered the day his landlord told him he couldn't keep him around any longer because he was patient with him for two months, hoping he would pay the rent. He was left with no other choice than to go look for a job.

He went around every street corner in town looking for something he could be able to do until finally, he received a job as a waiter in a small diner, though the money good, at least with it he was going to be able to pay rent. As for the food, he had to come up with another plan.

That was when he got a job in a bar around college and met a few friends, with them he started going to clubs and parties, something he never thought he would do. Everything went south after that, it became his life.

He felt like he belonged there and there was no other way around it. He started bunking work at the diner and the owner was forced to fire him and he was left with one job. When he started slacking off at the bar too, the manager fired him.

His landlord chased him out of the apartment and he was forced to the streets. When he turned to people he considered his friends, they all turned their backs on him and that was when he met his best friend, Robin.

Robin was there for him when no one else could, he made sure he was okay and that he not only had a roof above his head but food in his too.

He taught him so many things about life, brought him to a new world, a world full of people who cared because they wanted to, not people who pretended to care because they wanted something from him.

He never had to worry about anything when he was around them because they assured him that he was safe with them, he was loved and he always wished he could find a way to repay them for all their kindness.

Even when he started drifting away from them, they didn't abandon him, they made sure that he was on track with everything. They helped him secure a job until he was out of college.

Robin would always accompany him every time he had an interview up until he got a job as an engineer. Even though it wasn't a big company where he would earn what he was worth, at least he had a job and he was grateful.

He knew that if Robin and his friends were not there for him he would've been on the streets and never got any job, a small company or not.

After he met Melissa, he had hopes that he would get a decent job that would pay him enough to be able to take care of a family. He was going to propose to her and right now he felt like a fool.

He was so blinded by love that he couldn't even see that his love was unrequited. Maybe if he just stopped asking himself what went wrong then maybe he would be able to understand that Melissa never loved him as much as he did.

He may lie to himself for as long as it takes but he knew he still loved her, even after what she did and what he went through because of the decisions he took after that fire.

He became void, he received great pleasure in seeing other people suffer and it was his everyday life. He desperately needed someone to pull him out of the darkness that he was in but he convinced himself he didn't need any of that.

He was walking down the streets to a small diner when he heard someone calling his name. When he realised that he shouldn't have stopped it was too late.

"Sorry, I thought you are someone I know. Everything about you is him." Sue said as soon as she was in front of him.

Sue was his sister from one of the foster homes he grew up in. She was adopted by that family and she was always nice to him. He knew he could trust her.

"What are you doing here? Are you not supposed to be in Singapore? You always wanted to study there. What changed?"

"Jackson? So it's you? I missed you brother." She jumped into his arms and Jackson had to try to balance his feet more to not fall. "When you left home I thought I would never see you again. I've been looking all over for you. You've changed, you're still handsome but you've completely changed, you look like someone else."

"A lot has changed over the years. I've changed too."

"I can see that. I was always worried about you."

"What about school? You're supposed to be in school. What happened?"

"That's something we can discuss over dinner. Come to my place tonight and I'll cook."

"You'll cook?" For as long as Jackson could remember, Sue was a terrible cook.

"I've improved a lot you know. I know what you're thinking, none of us will end up in a hospital after dinner, I promise."

"I just want you to know I don't have anything you'll gain after my death. In case you were planning on killing me." He said laughing and it felt strange. It has been too long since he last laughed so easily.

"I would never do that. Not to you at least. I took classes at a culinary school. My cooking skills were so horrible that even I, myself was embarrassed by it. It was just for a few weeks and I left once I learned what I wanted to learn."

"That's impressive. I'll come and have dinner with you. I could use a change of scenery. Give me your phone, I'll just put my number and you can text me your address. I'm going somewhere for now."

She hugged him before she left. After a few seconds, Jackson got a text from her with her address. He couldn't wait to taste her food because from what he can remember, her cooking had the power to get you sick.

He went to the diner where he wanted to have his lunch and then headed back to his hotel room. He figured it was time he bought an apartment and maybe put it in the name that he was currently using as his undercover, Zachary Stone. He wanted to go with Stanford, his original surname but then he figured it will make people suspicious.

Later he went to the address that Sue sent him for dinner. He knocked a few times before his sister came down to open the door for him. She was wearing an apron and he could tell that she was busy preparing dinner for them.

"You're a bit early. I wasn't expecting you to be here for at least fifteen minutes. I'm glad you're early though, you can help me with dishing up. I'm almost done with cooking. Come in and make yourself comfortable. I would love to give you a tour but I'm still cooking. You can look around if you want to."

"You still love purple I can see."

"Why wouldn't I? It's a beautiful colour and it's making my apartment look lovely and alive."

"I can see that, you have a beautiful home." He looked around and saw pictures on the wall. He saw a picture that they took the week he left the foster home where they both met. He was smiling.

"I decided to frame it and put it there when I bought this apartment. It was the only way I could feel close to you. I never expected to see you again, not after trying to look for you for nine long years and always meeting a dead end.

I gave up and decided to buy an apartment here, it was cheap and close to town. I also needed a home for Ethan, we've been moving a lot and it's not good for him."

"Who's Ethan?" He hoped as hell his little sister wasn't a mother. He couldn't even picture her as a mother or having sex. If it was up to him, she'd stay a virgin all her life.

"He's my baby brother. Mom gave birth to him a week before she died." He realised a sigh of relief, even though he didn't like the fact that she was raising a child alone.

He looked around and saw pictures of a small boy, there were too many of them and he couldn't hide his own smile when he saw how happy he looked.

He looked so peaceful and innocent in those pictures and he wished that the boy stayed that happy and that nothing should happen to him in life.

What surprised him though was that even though the kid was a boy, he looked just like Sue and there was no mistaking it.

The last time he knew, Sue was adopted in that family and there was no way the boy could look just like her unless they had the same parents and Jackson wanted to ask about it when she suddenly went to the door opposite where they were standing.

The door opened and a boy around four or five years ran to her and hugged her legs.

"Hey buddy, you're awake. I was beginning to think you would sleep the whole day. Antie Sarah said you weren't feeling good so she had to take you to see the doctor. How are feeling? Your sister has been worried." The boy flashed her a smile.

"I'm okay. The doctor said I should sleep and stop playing games late at night."

"The doctor was right, from now on you will have to sleep early. No more late nights for you."

"That's not fair. You always sleep late and sometimes I don't even see you when you get back."

"I'm sorry buddy, I'll try to be here every time you go to sleep. I promise." She took the boy's hand and went over to Jackson. "Jackson, this is my baby brother Ethan and Ethan, this is your big brother Jackson, the one I've always told you about. The one in that photo in your bedroom."

"Yay, We're going to have so much fun together. I have so many games in my room and we can share my bed."

Jackson couldn't help but smile at the kid, he couldn't wait to see the bed that they could share. A man his size, in a bed of a five-year-old? Now that was something.

"I can't wait." He gave the boy a smile he never thought he still had and that should've scared the shit out of him but it didn't.