CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
1638 Words
ELINA
I turn in bed with my back to Zane who is sleeping soundly, I still feel the pain in my chest, and it is that after Zane came to the room with all the intention of having s*x with me, I could not simply refuse because weeks have passed since the last time we slept together, and although I tried to rack my brains to find a convincing excuse to say no, I just couldn't find it, and after what happened in the woods he seems to have started to suspect me.
I tried not to react too badly when his hand began to travel my body, and his lips planted kisses on my neck, but my stomach immediately turned, and I know that my reaction is because since we had that moment with Bastian in the forest, it feels like my dislike of other men have intensified, so I tried not to think about it, tried to rid my mind of any thoughts that might cause me to react negatively to Zane's closeness, and the best thing I could think of, was basically close my eyes and remember the last time I had a real o****m, and that is, of course, that time in the woods with Bastian.
It didn't help the fact that Zane seems to be an expert in this area, and knows well how to touch me or what to do to create pleasure, so before I could be fully aware of what was happening, I felt that little by little that sensation in the lower part of my abdomen was starting to build up, and for a moment I remembered the great org*sm I had in the forest, which helped the c****x to approach quickly, only, as usual when I have been with Zane, instead of an org*sm the only thing I felt was pain, a sharp pain in my chest that brought me back to reality, and made me open my eyes to find Zane's sweaty face instead of Bastian's, and if not because he himself was reaching its c****x, I am sure he would have noticed my disappointed face.
I need to find a way to fix this, Bastian seems to be convinced that our bond was never broken, and it's quite likely that if this is true then the pain is due to it, and it is not like I want to have s*x with Zane, but I can't spend the rest of my life feeling pain, and now I don't find it as satisfying to know that Bastian is feeling it too, even though I don't plan on going back with him, I also don't want him to be aware of how many times I have s*x with Zane, he just thinking about it bothers me.
I guess I will have to pay Alex a visit tomorrow, since he helped me with the birth of the babies I have not seen him again, as he is in the front line with some groups of the Red Army, and is usually too busy to come here to the palace, besides that he has never really agreed with my marriage, he tried to persuade me numerous times to turn down Zane's offer, and refused to attend to the wedding, and even got into a fight with my uncle after accusing him of trying to sell me to get an army, something that my uncle did not find very funny, and that is why he prefers to keep him away.
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"Well, I think it's pretty obvious what is going on," Alex responds.
"Well, enlighten me because I don't understand," I tell him.
"He never accepted your rejection," he replies with a shrug.
"What? Accept my rejection? I didn’t know that this should be done, usually it is enough to just say the words out loud and in front of that person,” I say confused.
"Well, that would be enough for normal wolves, but you two are not just wolves, you have Lycan blood, especially you, that's why your wolf is so strong and unpredictable at times," he tells me, and I shake my head.
"And what does that have to do with the rejection?" I ask him.
“After we got to the rogue castle I decided to go exploring it, or well, what was left of that place, one of the least affected rooms was the library, and in it the old King Vark had a whole section dedicated to the Lycans, he was apparently obsessed with it, and that section was inside special containers that protected the books to a certain extent, some were totally ruined, others only partially, and the book in which I found information about the bond between fated mates was intact,” he tells me.
"And what did it say?" I ask curiously.
“Essentially that it is a very powerful bond, that connects them at levels that normal werewolves could not even dream of, and that it is practically indestructible, it requires you to reject your fated mate and he accepts it, in human form and also in your wolf form,” he tells me.
"But we never completed the ritual in our wolf forms," I tell him.
"Well, in that case he would only have to accept your rejection in human form, but the wolves of both of you will continue to maintain their connection although they will not be completely mates because the ritual has not been completed, to definitively cut the bond between you, either of the two would have to die, although I must warn you that if he doesn't accept your rejection first and either of you dies, the grief of the loss could kill the survivor,” he tells me, then adds:
"I tell you this because you are about to enter a war where both are going to be leading your armies, so there is a great possibility that one of you will not come out of it alive, it is best that you convince him to accept the rejection, or else if he dies you could also die, and the same will happen to him if you die,” he tells me.
"But, there is something I still don't understand," I tell him, trying to ignore the pain his words cause me.
"What is it?" he asks.
"My she-wolf attacked his wolf recently, he surprised us and she just got on top of him, I couldn't control her before she pierced his skin with her canines, right into his shoulder, if they are supposed to have a connection too, then why my wolf attacked his?" I ask him, and he laughs.
"Elina, everything you feel your wolf will feel it ten times more, if you love someone your wolf will protect them fiercely, if you hate someone, she probably wants to kill that person," he tells me, and I look at him without understanding still.
"That means you don't really hate him, you are just mad at him, if you really hated him he would be dead right now, your wolf probably just wanted to unload a bit of the anger and frustration that you have been feeding her all these months, but be careful, because in the same way that she takes your anger and multiplies it, so will she with your love for him, if you do not rush to make him accept the rejection, you are at risk that your wolf wants to get back together with her fated mate,” he explains to me, and I feel my heart stop.
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