Valentine's Recipe for Love

The Weight of What If

♡ Shane ♡

By the time I got to Ironworks Gym, I had already spent most of the morning replaying last night in my head. My clients barely noticed that I was distracted during their sessions – probably because I kept my game face on. But inside, I was a mess. Every time I tried to focus, Megan’s laughter and the way her eyes lit up over dinner would sneak back in. I had no right to think about her like that. Not when I had Casey. The moment Caleb spotted me from across the gym floor, he waved me over. He was wiping down one of the squat racks, his typical post-shift ritual.

“Lunch?” he called out.

“Yeah, let’s do it,” I replied. I waited until he was done before we headed to our usual spot. A small sandwich shop down the street called Sub & Squat. It was a favorite among gym-goers, mostly because it offered high-protein options that didn’t taste like cardboard. We slid into a booth near the back, and Caleb immediately gave me a look.

“You have been weird all morning. What’s up?” he asked curiously. I had a feeling he had forgotten our little discussion last night. I sighed as I ran my fingers through my hair.

“It’s…complicated,” I said just as he leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Complicated? Dude, you aren’t exactly a complicated guy. So…spill,” I hesitated. “Wait, is this about last night?” he questioned as he seemed to recall our brief conversation. I knew he wasn’t going to let it go. Not only was he my best friend, but we had practically grown up together. We told each other everything.

“Ugh…so…last night, Casey didn’t show up for our Valentine’s dinner,” I started as his eyebrows shot up.

“No s**t…seriously?” I nodded, and he groaned as he unfolded his arms. “What was her excuse this time?”

“She said her boss needed her to stay late and do some filing. By the time she got home, she was too tired to come out,” I explained as I watched him closely. Caleb wasn’t Casey’s biggest fan, and he had often told me over the years that I deserved better.

“Ahuh…and are you buying that lame excuse?” he asked, which only confirmed his dislike for my girlfriend. I shrugged because that wasn’t what this was about. This was about Megan.

“I don’t know, and I don’t even care…you haven’t even heard the crazy part,” Caleb immediately leaned in, intrigued.

“Go on,”

“Well, I was super embarrassed by the way, and I wasn’t exactly going to leave since I had booked so far in advance that…well, I mean, you know me, man, I was looking forward to it,”

“Yeah…ok?”

“Anyway, I was sitting there trying to act like I wasn’t bothered by the fact that I had clearly been stood up…then the hostess came over and explained that they were overbooked, and would I mind sharing a table with someone else…someone else who had gotten stood up,” Caleb was truly invested in the story now as his eyes sparkled with interest.

“No way…let me guess, you said yes?”

“Yeah…well, I figured why not, you know? It was certainly better than sitting there like an i***t…plus, I was starving, and again, I had been looking forward to it,”

“Right…yeah, dude, that makes sense…so, who was your new dinner companion?” he asked. I couldn’t stop the blush even if I had tried.

“Her name is Megan. She owns a bakery here in Rockland. And…we kind of hit it off,”

“Hit it off how?” Caleb asked, and his grin turned mischievous. “Like, you made a new friend? Or like we hit it off so let’s get dessert?”

“Ah, no. Nothing like that,” I said quickly. “We just talked. A lot. She is funny, smart, and really easy to be around. Honestly, I haven’t laughed like that in a while,” I admitted softly, and Caleb’s expression shifted from teasing to serious.

“And what about Casey?”

“I don’t know, man,” I remarked as I leaned forward and rested my elbows on the table. Before I could continue, a server appeared to take our order. As soon as he was gone, I sighed loudly. “That’s the thing though…being with Megan last night…it felt different. Like I wasn’t actually trying to connect with someone…you know? But with Casey…I mean, I have been with her for three years. I can’t just throw that away,” Caleb tapped his fingers against the table thoughtfully.

“Look, dude, it sounds to me like you are already halfway out the door. If you are this hung up on someone you just met…I mean, I hate to say it, but maybe you need to take a long hard look at your relationship with Casey,”

“It’s not that simple. Casey and I have a history. We have been through a lot together,” I said, and it was true. I wasn’t even sure why Megan had gotten under my skin the way that she had. I loved Casey. I was in a committed relationship.

“History doesn’t mean you are happy,” Caleb pointed out bluntly. “I’m not saying ditch her for some random bakery owner. But if you are feeling this way after one night with Megan, maybe there’s a reason for that,” I sat back and rubbed my hand over my face.

“I don’t even know how to explain it. Megan…she felt like a breath of fresh air. Like I could be myself around her,” I said. Our server returned with our order and silence fell over us as we started to eat. Caleb and I had been coming here for years, and we always ordered the same thing. Roasted beef sub-sandwich loaded with veggies and a creamy strawberry smoothie for me. Oven-roasted turkey sub-sandwich loaded with veggies and a banana and mango smoothie for Caleb.

“And with Casey?” Caleb asked between bites. I didn’t answer him right away as we continued to eat. We polished off our sub-sandwiches and relaxed as we enjoyed the smoothies. “You are in deep…and you know how I feel about Casey…but my advice is to forget about Megan, look at your relationship, and do what’s best for you,” I had no idea what to say to that. “Are you going to tell her about last night?” Caleb then asked.

“It was just dinner, there is nothing to tell,” I said as I shook my head.

“Right…because you aren’t acting like it was just dinner,” he remarked, but I waved him off as we finished up our lunch. As we headed back to the gym, I couldn’t forget about Megan. For some reason, I just refused to let her go. Plus, I couldn’t stop wondering if she was thinking about me too. I was playing a dangerous game, and I knew it.