Irrevocably HIS

Chapter Eight

"You." The sole word that has my mind reeling from todays events. Seeing Lex again had my insides churning. I didn't want to have to see him ever again. You'd think the universe could help me out with at least that much but, I am highly unlucky when it comes to matters of my torn heart. Did he really think I was going to cave to his mouth full of lies? He pushed me away. He dumped me. He took every detail of the life I had wanted to make with him, albeit the fact that I never truly knew what love could feel like or even look like because of his warped ways, and lit a match to it adding enough gasoline to consume the whole damn universe. He wanted away from me so why would he want me back?

"Hey, where'd you go just now?" Tatum's voice pulls me from my inner thinkings as we take a step into his home. Home isn't even the word for what this place is. I'd say it was an extension to his office. How does he live like this? There is not one piece of furniture that screams Home Sweet Home. Everything is meticulous. Not even a speck of dust to be seen. This is anything but a home. This isn't Tatum at all. This is whoever he is now, a person void of what truly matters.

"Very nice place you have. Very clean. Spotless even." I say wanting to throw out a compliment but the words don't even convey that much.

"Clean?" Tatum says as he places his suit jacket around the chair in the dining room that I presume we are standing in.

"Uh, maybe I should think of another word for what I am looking at. I mean I get this is your home, but, shouldn't this place feel more like a home than a replica of your office?" I say before I can even fathom what the hell I am trying to say. He looks around and just shrugs as if it were nothing, like he is simply just used to merely existing.

"I guess it does look like my office in a way." He says as he extends his hand for mine and I give it to him. He leads me towards the kitchen and nods for me to take a seat at the island while he crosses over and opens the refrigerator that looks more like an oversized computer fortress. Everything here screams lap of luxury. Even my apartment feels warmer than here.

"I'm going to cook us something and while I do that, I want to know everything about Higgins." He says in a direct tone that I flinch to. He must see the way I react and closes his eyes.

"I'm sorry. Please, can you tell me about how you came to be Higgins fiancé?" He says more calmly and softly that I feel the anxiety slowly slipping away at the mention of him.

"Why should we talk about someone who doesn't have a place in my mind or heart anymore? I'd much rather hear about you and what you have been up to. It's been way too long since we had a solid conversation without the need for rudeness and back talk." I say wanting to direct the conversation away from me. I don't want him to see how much of an i***t I was given the fact that I had agreed to marry one of the stupidest men in the world. I don't want him to see that I was nothing but a weak person who thought she knew what love was only to have it ripped out from right under me. I was the stupid one. I should have seen the writing on the wall. All the times I thought it was because of me that he was becoming more distant when it was him all along. I felt as if I weren't worthy of his love and I tried so damn hard to show him that I was more than just a pretty face to drag around to social events. I doubt Tatum would want to hear the fool I had become.

"Are you sure Higgins is a part of your past that you want to lock away? He doesn't seem to share the same thought and I can't stand the notion of you being with him, running back to him, marrying him." Tatum says as if it were an actual option. I stand from the stool and make my way to him to just wrap my arms around him. He seems to tense a the motion, but it soon evaporates the moment he locks his arms around my tiny frame and nuzzles his face into the crook of my neck. This simple moment means so much to me that I don't want it to end. I don't even remember the last time we just embraced one another. He was always my source of comfort back when we were kids wondering why we wound up at foster home after foster home. All we wanted was someone to love us. I know I gained a family that has done just that but what about him? From the looks of it, I don't think so.

"Higgins is my past and it will remain that way. I thought he was my happily ever after but that was because I was nothing but a fool who thought she was in love. It wasn't love with him. It was control. It was needing me to be his arm candy while he fixated on every other thing I apparently did wrong. If I didn't show him up and show everyone that he was gods gift to the world, then I was at fault and he blamed me for ruining his image. I was naive Tatum. I thought that maybe if we moved forward in our relationship, moving in together, that he would finally see the finality of it all and come to terms with the fact that I was his and wanted to be his no matter how much he made me feel like nothing. Then, when it was move in day, he simply stood at the door and rejected me. He got the apartment while I got a swift kick to the curb." I say into his chest, feeling the tiniest bit better about releasing some of my shame. His body immediately tenses once again.

"That's how you wound up in that shoe box of an apartment?! That place shouldn't even be legal to live in." He says releasing me from his hold, storming out of the space. I begin to pace around the kitchen, forgetting about the cooking that was supposed to be done, leaving all the ingredients on the counter as walk away. Of course, I begin to wonder if I should just leave. I knew he'd take the news horribly. Of course he wouldn't want anything to do with me. We are two different people. He dominates while I am just the dumbass that falls for scum. I'm nothing but a weakling. Not wanting to waft in my shame any longer, I head for the door, grabbing the handle to open it when I can feel his presence behind me. The heat radiating from his body has the capability of melting me on the spot.

"Where are you going?" He says in a husky tone that produces goosebumps all over my body. I close my eyes and allow my shame to drown me.

"I don't need your pity Tatum. I don't need you looking at me as if I were the stupidest girl in the world. I fell for a man that never even loved me and here I am telling you about it and all you can do is walk away from me. Of course you'd see me as a fool. A nobody. I don't want to be anyone's fool anymore." I say as I begin to open the door only for his hand to slam it closed. His other hand goes to my waist and skates up to my neck, twisting it, making me look up at him behind me.

"You are far from weak Annie. I would never consider you naive. I only walked away because of the rage that had festered inside of me. The anger that I feel at someone treating you less than you deserve has me wanting to burn everything to the ground. I want to ruin the people that have caused you any harm. I want to soak up your pain and grief and have it in my body to handle. I want nothing more than to show you how much you so rightfully deserve when it comes to love." He says as his lips brush against mine. I turn around to truly assess him. The sincerity in his eyes is too much to handle.

"Tatum." I say as I place my hand on his chest and feel his heart beating a thousand miles a minute. He closes the space between us, pressing my body against the door, making me feel all of him.

"You deserve every ounce of love from a person. You deserve a happily ever after. You deserve...you deserve everything. I want to be the one to give it to you. I've always wanted to be that person but how do I tell a ten year old that? I wanted to say i love you countless numbers of times but I didn't want you to think I meant it in a friendly brother sister manner. I have been feeling a pull towards you ever since I met you with your damn pigtails swinging back and forth. I didn't know what love was back then when we were mere kids but as we grew, it started to all make sense. The moment you vanished from my life I swore I would never love anyone else, that I would never let anyone else in. You were it for me back then and you are it for me right now. Let me be the one to show you what love can be even though I'm far from being the romantic cuddly type. I'm nothing but a grouchy asshole but for you, I'd be anything you wanted. You have captivated me from the first moment when we were kids. I'll make damn sure that our love will last lifetimes because wherever your soul goes, mine will follow." He says, nothing more than love conveying from his beautiful orbs.

That's all I needed to hear before I grab his neck and bring his face down to mine as I kiss him with everything I have. He releases a guttural groan that makes my legs shake. His hands falls down to my ass as I jump into his arms, wrapping my legs around his waist tightly. My body is pressed against the door as we fight for dominance. His hard on pressing against me causes me to tremble against him. He carries me away from the front door and straight down hallway after hallway only to come to a room with a massive bed. He throws me down onto it gently, never once breaking eye contact.

"You sure you want this Annie?" He asks in a tone that is husky, eyes filled with want, need, and desire.

"Yes. I want all of you Tatum." I say breathlessly as he bends down and captures my lips again. He takes the kiss tantalizingly slow and I whimper with need for more contact.

"My needy girl." He says and that just ups the anty for my lust for him.

"Undress." He says and I follow his command, ready to have him make me his in every way possible. Before we both know it, I'm in my birthday suit feeling slightly embarrassed but he growls. Growls, like an animal.

"Don't hide from me. Ever." He says as he begins unbuttoning his shirt and discarding his own clothes, not caring the least bit of wrinkles like he usually does. I stare at him with wide eyes. He is a living, breathing, sculpted to perfection Adonis.

"Like what you see?" He says and all I can do from keeping the drool from flowing from my mouth is nod.

"I wanted to worship every inch of your beautiful body, but right now, I need to be inside of you. I haven't touched anyone or had anyone touch me in a very, very, long time." He says and I sit up leaning on my elbows c*****g my head to the side.

"Weren't you just with Cassandra? You blackened your windows after throwing me a smirk that I wanted to kick your ass for." I said not truly believing him.

"I was jealous. I wanted you jealous." He says sheepishly.

"Jealous? Of who?" I say not caring we are both butt ass naked.

"My brother." He says and my eyes goes wide.

"Brother? What brother? I haven't been hanging out with anyone except for Kaden." I say but then it clicks.

"Kaden is your brother?!" I say on a shriek.

"Adopted brother. The light of our family whereas I'm the dark. Father wanted someone with inner demons to run his company rather than someone that lives like life is full of sunshine and rainbows. You leaving turned me into a shell of a person so I was the perfect "son" to take on his legacy. Father didn't even want Kaden anywhere near his company but once he croaked, I made sure Kaden was set for life and even gave him the IT head position. It wasn't Kadens fault that he was a happy kid. I never truly understood the man who adopted me but if he hadn't, we wouldn't have found each other again. Can't say I regret being adopted." He says and I just swallow the lump that had formed in my throat.

"Why would you allow yourself to fall? I never wanted to have to you feel like that. God Tatum. Because of me you turned into a person that erased the color from his world. Because of me, you were used to take on a company that I'm sure you never even wanted from the start. What am I even doing here Tatum? How can you even stand to look at me?" I say as I try to push him away and get off the bed but he pulls me back down and the weight of his body keeps me from moving an inch.

"You are here because I need you Annie. I need you to bring me back to the person I was long ago. I want to feel again. I want my world to have color in it again. I deserve to be loved just as much as you and I want your love to guide me. I've lived enough without you. If I lose you again, I won't be able to continue living. Like I said, you are it for me." He says as he brings his lips to my neck and begins to suck and lick. His nibble against my skin makes me jolt with a sensation that courses throughout my body. His hardness aligns with my center as he slowly enters, inch by glorious inch.

"Holy hell you're tight. God Annie. You're f*****g home to me right now." He says as he thrusts deeper hitting a point inside me that makes me want to detonate. I match his rhythm and we cascade into oblivion together, riding out the waves of pleasure until we are both breathing heavy.

"I love you Annie. I don't think there is even a point in time where I haven't." He says as he places a kiss on the top of my head as I snuggle into his body.

"You asked me to save you but I think it was you who saved me." I say as I just listen to his heart beat until my eyes fall closed, sleeping better than I ever had in a really long time.