ROYAL CONTEST

17| CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

ALYSSA'S POV

I messed up and I can't believe that I did it all by myself. The look on Owen's face when he spoke to me yesterday will always haunt me. I failed to sleep the whole night because of what he asked me. I didn't mean to hurt him.

I have been worried about losing him after I told him how I feel about him that I ended up messing up everything. Amber promised me that she will help me win this competition but I can't help it.

I feel like if I go in too deep, I will never recover from it if something happens.

I should have given him an answer after talking to Amber. Everything would have been avoided. I know he wasn't going to let everyone know that he loves me, but it would have given him and me peace of mind.

He would know where he stands. I hate that I hurt him, but I am not a fool. I have only been here for like two minutes. Even though he has told me how he feels about me, I don't know if he will still feel the same after spending time with all the other girls.

What will happen to me then when he decides he wants someone else? This competition is for him to choose a bride. Someone he will spend the rest of his life with.

I don't know if I am that person. I am no princess and I don't think I will ever be princess material. Eventually, he will realise that and choose someone else. Love is not enough.

It's true that his parents want him to find someone he will love, someone who will love him back but they also want a crowned princess, a future empress and I know that will never be me.

I have always been a carefree person. I have always done what I wanted, even as a child. I am not used to people telling me how to live my life or people having expectations of me. It's just not me.

I don't want Owen to regret having chosen me after we get married if we even get to that stage.

I know what he said to me, he doesn't want me to change who I am just to be with him but if we do get married, I won't just be his wife. I will also be the crowned princess of Harrington Empire and that is a big deal for me.

It is enough to make me want to run the other side and never look back. The only reason why I still want to be here even after knowing all this is because I love Owen and I really want to be with him.

I also don't want to disappoint my mother. She wanted me to be here and I will do this, if not for anything, just for her, wherever she is.

I can't go on like this, and I'm well aware of it. I need to summon the confidence to keep going, to show myself and everyone else that I am worthy of being a part of Owen's life.

It makes no difference who I am or where I come from. I, like every other woman in this palace, am deserving of being here and winning.

I spent the entire day trying to figure out how I could win the competition, and I almost missed dinner.

I am aware of the royal family's importance of meals. It's one of the rare occasions they get to spend quality time together, just like back home.

Unlike the royal family, however, we only have dinner together at home, not lunch, because my father is constantly at work and Matt is occasionally at the university or the hospital at that time.

I immediately dressed and made my way to the dining area. The majority of the girls were already there, and I joined Amber as soon as I spotted her.

As soon as she noticed me approaching, she grinned.

"I was thinking you wouldn't show up today; you're rarely here at this hour. You're always on time." I couldn't help but grin back at her.

I'm not sure why, but her grin always makes me smile. I'm not sure if it's because it's obvious that it's not forced. She sincerely wants to be my new friend, as you can tell.