Frozen Memories

Self-Assured

The morning of preparing myself for school was distressing enough with Max staring at me after I told her what happened the night before. Ever since our late night conversation, she’d pick glances and ask random questions concerning it. 

“So where do you think he came from?” Max randomly asked, while I stood in the closet picking out a black collared t-shirt. “Roman Dharke.” She clarified.

    I sighed, shaking my head, pulling my shirt down over my body, silently taking notice of the snugness of the clothes that Dr. Byrne and Lisa Jones had given to me. “I told you, I am not sure, Max.”

    “Well am I the only one that thinks it’s a little weird that Roman Dharke just randomly shows up while you’re on your way home?”

    “I do think it a bit odd.” I returned. “And I did ask questions, but in between being attacked and then running into-”

    “Wai-what?”

    Realizing what I just said, I shut my eyes in complete annoyance of my unintentional confession. I opened my eyes and saw Max standing in front of me, eyes wide in discontent.

    “He attacked you?!”

    “What? Roman Dharke? No! Of course-no!” I rectified. I exhaled in hesitation before I decided that I might as well tell her what happened, considering I had already relinquished partial truth in the first place. “There was a guy, right before I met up with Roman Dharke.” I said, sitting back down on the bed to put on the black and gray shoes that Dr. Byrne gave to me.

    Max sat next to me, clear inquisitiveness in her eyes. “What happened?”

    “I don’t-I was on the phone with Dr. Byrne. When I ended the telephone call I got the texting message from you-then, some man attacked me and shoved me into a dark corner.” I left out the part where his body nearly froze over from-what? I had no idea. “He then suddenly ran off.” I skipped to the end.

    When I looked at Max again, I noticed the curious look on her face. She was about to ask another question. The most obvious question. Why? So I had to counter her thoughts before she asked.

    “It was dark but we were out in the open and there were cars around.” I added, hoping that she would put two and two together.

    A moment more, her gaze was on me before she looked away and nodded in understanding. “And then too, he probably heard Roman around the corner.” She sighed. “Well at least you’re okay.” She got up from the bed. “Time to go.”

When we finally got on the bus that morning, I tried to reply as if interested in the discussions; that is, until my eyes reflectively turned to that spot at the corner of the street. My silence had since drawn the evident attention of Max.

    “Is that where it happened?” I heard her inquire. At first thought, I felt somewhat clueless as to why that would be the first question she asked as I could have just as easily been taking in the scenery. Then the thought occurred that while I was not completely into their subject of conversation the whole time, I still hadn’t been as quiet as I was at that moment. In thinking of so much, I did not bother to answer verbally and instead decided to nod my head yes.

    Silence filled the air between us, though on my part, there was nothing left to say. “Are you alright?” she suddenly asked in an awkward tone.

    I hesitated for a second to compose my thoughts and turned around with an assured smile. “I’m fine.” I half falsified. In truth, I had no clue as to how I really was. But I knew that in taking all that had happened to me in consideration, I was far from alright. Though, not for the reasons one might think.

    I turned back to the window and in the reflection saw the meaningful look in Max Powers’ eyes. It could have been conceived that I noticed her look, but avoiding any form of emotion, for her sake and my own, to be perfectly honest-I decided to keep quiet and avoid direct eye contact through the reflection of the window. Shortly after, she turned away and reluctantly started back her conversation with Laura and the others, chancing a glance between them and I every so often, until we arrived at the front of the school.

    We reached school early and decided to hang outside while others rushed into the eating area to grab a breakfast doughnut or some eggs and toast before the morning bell rang. I sat down on one of the benches, opened a blow pop, my new favorite form of gum since the introduction of it from Max, and began to read through the history book.

President Kennedy’s reign of presidency granted quite the interesting read. Along with such enlightenment, I read a plethora of other happenings in history; some of which were very eye opening.

    “Hey! Watch out!”

    The familiar distant call, caused my gaze to wander up just in time to see the ball coming toward me. I started up from my seat when I lost my footing and fell, knowing the ball was about to make contact with my face, I prepared for impact.

    “Hey, are you alright?”

    Max’s voice made me open my eyes to see a large hand in front of my face. Looking up, I saw Roman Dharke standing over me with the ball caught in his grasp. The tug of Max on my arm, assisted me in getting up from the ground.

    “I’m fine.” I replied, watching Roman Dharke as his older brother, Nixon Grey approached with a grin on his face.

    “I thought you said she was a good catch.” Roman Dharke said. His gaze was on me but I knew that he was not speaking to me.

    My suspicions were confirmed due to Nixon Grey’s laughter. “I thought she was.” He looked at me with a smirk. “Guess I was wrong.”

    “Good to know that being a jerk runs in the family.” Max spat. Her glare was on Nixon Grey at first and then switched to Roman Dharke. “And to think, that I thought it good manners to thank you for saving her, last night.”

    “Max-” I started when, I was cut off by Nixon Grey’s reaction.

    “Saving?” he looked at his little brother. “You saved her?” When Roman Dharke did not answer, Nixon Grey looked at me. “From what?” his smile faded into something of neither a grimace nor a smile.  

“It was nothing.” I countered. My glance was very momentary toward Roman Dharke, who eyed me in an unreadable way. “Watch where you throw that thing.” I muttered before grabbing my things and turned away, when I felt a cold and firm grip on my arm.

    “Saved you from what?” Roman Dharke hissed, his eyes penetrating. It was clear then, from the look he gave me that he knew I lied when I said that I hadn’t been attacked the night before.

“Hey! Take your hands off of h-”

    “Max.” I calmly interceded my aggressive friend, my gaze still locked with Roman Dharke. I looked down at his grip and then back at him. “I said-it was nothing.” I snatched away from him and started away once again.

    “Hey! Hey! Let her go.” I heard Nixon Grey demand of his little brother as I walked away.

    “And what exactly was that about?” Max hissed incredulously.

    “I do not know Max.” I returned with just as much aggravation as she. “But in the future I would greatly appreciate you not trying to defend me every single time you’re near. I may have weaknesses, but I am not weak.”

    “Well excuse me for taking up for the new girl who refuses to take up for herself!”

    “How can I? When before I’ve thought one word, you come in for defense!” I hissed. “You make out like I am some sort of abashed, and afraid little girl who cannot speak for herself! But in reality, you don’t even know me well enough to assume such a thing!” I snapped. And no sooner the words escaped my lips I regretted them, realizing that at least she was one that actually made an attempt to know me. I sighed, realizing my harshness. “I do not want you to think that I am not grateful for your friendship and comradery, but I assure you that I am not as afraid as much as I am cautious and curious.” I clarified.

    When Max did not reply to what I said, I continued on into the school. Without another word, we headed to our first phase. As it happened, Ms. Fink saw it beneficial for me to have my first two even day periods with her.

    We sat down before the bell rang in silence for only a moment or so before Max finally spoke again. “Look-I’m sorry.” She apologized. “You’re right. I should have given you space to speak your own mind.” She added. “Jus-you remind me of someone that I knew a long time ago.” She shook her head. “She was always so…” Max harshly exhaled. “Doesn’t matter.” She looked at me. “Guess I just feel sorry for you. But it’s not because I think you’re weak.” She pointed out. I waited for her to finish her thought of what her reasoning was for feeling sorry for me, but she did not.

    “Understood.” I smiled. “But remember what Clyde said my first day.” I looked at her. “We’re more alike than you think, Powers.” I reminded her.

    She grinned, amusement obvious. “Starting to see that.” She said. She sighed. “Still, even you have to admit that this whole thing with you and the Greys are weird.”

“What do you mean?” I asked returning my full attention to her.

    I have never known the Greys to single out and give one girl as much attention as they give to you. I mean Nixon Grey is known for his promiscuity but even he’s being a little overzealous.” Max pointed out. “I mean, they’ve never really had to, until now. Every girl flocks to them willingly, but you retract.” She shrugged. “That must attract them. Especially, Roman Dharke. I’m not even sure he’s ever been with one at this school. I’d swear he was gay but I just cannot bring myself to think that after his obvious obsession with you.”

“Obsession? I jus-” I shook my head. “The words that you are using are a little too-”

“On point?”

    “I was going to say over the top.” I countered. “And even if that were the case, the attention that is shown, according to you, is not the kind that I should necessarily feel flattered by.” I retorted. “I do not think anyone would feel privileged in having a guy stare at them and treat them as if they just crawled out of a trash bin.”

    “I do not understand your point.”

    “Mina, if Roman Dharke felt so disdainful against you, why would he walk you home? Why did he catch the ball before it hit you in the face? And why did he seem so bothered when you slipped up about the attack?”

    She held a very valid notion. However, I still thought that maybe she was looking too much into this situation. “Why is it that you seem so invested in this?” I asked.

    She looked ahead of the class. “To be clear, it’s not Roman Dharke nor his brothers or their little girlfriends that interest me.” She said. She then looked at me as if thinking something that she would not say aloud. She turned her gaze to the front of the class again, rubbing her temples. “I don’t expect you to know how-weird this is-because you’ve only just gotten here. But this-is weird.”

    I started to respond when the teacher came into the class along with Amorah Lane, Keyvah Marsh and Thorne Grey. For some reason after that moment, I could not find my words. Particularly, when Keyvah Marsh shot me a look of discontent. Though, Amorah Lane and Thorne Grey’s eyes were not so judgmental. Amorah Lane held a calm and peaceful smile while Thorne Grey held one of cautious courtesy.

    “Oh-yes! Class, for those of you who missed Friday morning, I’m sure you’ve noticed that we have a new student. Hard to miss, I’m sure.” He muttered the last part before continuing on with a smile. “Miss Frost, welcome to English Lit.” he said before he started to continue his introduction to his lesson.

    Throughout class, I tried hard to keep my attention on the lesson at hand, but my mind continuously reverted back to my current and constant

    run-ins with the Grey brothers. Particularly that of Roman Dharke, considering, my presence had the most particular effect of annoyance on him.

    A few times, Max nudged my arm, making certain that I was still conscious. When the bell rang, I gladly and quickly rushed out of my class and took my time getting to the next.

    “You notice, Keyvah’s death stare?” I heard Max ask through the sounds of my own thoughts.

    “Actually-” I looked at her curiously. “I did notice that her stare revealed that she was not particularly fond of my presence.” I noted. “But death, I did not see.”

    “Mina, it’s a figure of-never mind.” Max scoffed and shook her head. “Three guesses why the Marsh is staring daggers.” She mumbled.

“Daggers? I assume that another figure of speech.” I said.

“Finally catching on, I see.” Max smirked to which I smiled, quite impressed with myself.

“Care to enlighten me as a reward to quick wit?” I replied in a teasing manner.

“Everyone knows that Keyvah is crazy about Roman.” She said. 

I was curious to know this bit of information. Surely physical appearance should not account for everything but Keyvah Marsh was exceptionally beautiful enough for beauty to be a large contributing factor.

“And he does not return this affection? Her beauty is, no doubt, rare to come by. In fact, there are only two that I can hold to her standards of attraction.” I truthfully stated.

Max scoffed. “Yes, Mina Amorah is just as, if not more and of course-then there’s you, according to Clyde, Dustin, the Greys and every other guy in schoo-”

“I was going to say you, Max Powers.” I said with confusion before walking ahead of her.

“Wai-what?” I heard her catching up to me in the hallway.

“You talk about the way those boys look Keyvah Marsh and Amorah Lane-me.” I said. I looked at her. “Nixon Grey watches you incessantly.” I pointed out. “So does Clyde but I am assured that you have frightened him and Dustin-along with every other guy away into thinking that they have any sort of chance with the likes of you. You say I am oblivious and still you are the more.” 

She watched me a long moment before saying anything. “Look, we’re not talking about me-the point is, Roman Dharke isn’t interested in Keyvah and for good reason.”

Max was more like myself than I realized; she refused to acknowledge how agreeable she was in appearance. She did not care about enough to dwell on it-or maybe she was

insecure about it. I smirked, half knowing that she would shift the subject away from herself anyway; it made her uncomfortable. I obliged.

“And what reason is that?” I asked.

“You can be as beautiful as God made you and still be the ugliest person on the inside. And she is ugly.” She said walking off.

I had to think about what Max was saying and what she said was justified. I could not judge Keyvah because I did not necessarily know her but she apparently was not very approachable.

“Oh, and Frost.” She called to me. “I know I’m gorgeous.” She said with a smile. “People like us just don’t dwell on the little things. Thanks though.” She winked. “Let’s get to class.”

Confident but humble. Max’s words were little but still said so much in the way of how she lived her life and how I wanted mine to be. I caught up to her, realizing that the more that I got to know this Max Powers the happier I was starting to become that I’d made an acquaintance out of her. Being sent to the girls’ group home was suddenly seeming not such a bad thing.