Frozen Memories

First Day Hiccups....And Nixon Grey

Time for school, Frosty!” I heard Max Powers call to me the following morning. 

I’d been  awake the whole night but I knew that she was completely unaware of the fact that I had not been to sleep. Something that had become a rarity of late. Still, I didn’t immediately rise from my bed. I grabbed my phone from the small bedside bureau. I opened it to see that there was no call from Dr. Byrne or Lisa Jones as I messaged the night before, telling them that I was to start classes that following day. I partially knew that Lisa Jones would not answer but it had started to become a part of my regimen to contact her anyway. With a sigh, I finally sat up from my bed looking at my phone once more.

“It is 4:45-” I said incredulously. “a.m.” I added, waiting for her to explain. I was sure that the time to get up was not this early.

“You’re in a group home Frosty-full of girls. How else do you expect to get hot water and an early shower?” she asked, her tone seeming sarcastic. “Although, I’m sure after the stunt you pulled with Jessica, you won’t have much of a problem getting in before anyone else anyway.” She teased.

I rolled my eyes and walked out of the room, making my way to the bathroom. Just as I opened the bathroom door, I heard another become ajar. I turned to see that it is Jessica; apparently, she had the same idea.

She started out of her door, and suddenly froze mid-step when she saw me, eyes wide. She slowly backed into her room and quickly shut the door. I stood there a second longer, wondering why one moment of aggression caused so much apprehension toward me, before I went into the bathroom and started my shower.

When I returned to the room, Max Powers was gone. I took that time to hurry and put on a pair of dark tone sweatpants and a long-sleeve t-shirt that hugged a little tighter than I am accustomed too. I looked at the time on my phone to see already that it is 5:40.  

“Nice choice. It’s a little nippy today.”

Startled, I turned around to see Max Powers in the doorway with a banana in her hand, her outfit, significantly more form-fitting than my mine. Though, it was not inappropriate. “Thank you.” I finally said.    

“Yea, yea.” She shrugged off my gratitude. “Bus is coming soon. You might want to hurry up.” She said. “Come on.”

Turning back to the mirror, I combed my thick and damp hair, placing it into a messy and loose fishtail braid. I switched my head from side to side to see that the braid is not nearly as intricately beautiful as Lisa Jones’ nor Dr. Byrne. Sighing in resignation, I grabbed the small bag with attached draw strings that had already been packed thanks to Dr. Byrne and left.

“So that is our bussing vehicle?” I inquired.

Max Powers gestured a yes to the oncoming large yellow transportation vehicle as it came to a stop in front of us. The doors pulled themselves apart in allowance of our entrance; the sudden anxiety seized me momentarily.

“You going to just stand there?” I heard Max Powers say, as I look in wonder at the large motor vehicle. It was twice the size of the one that brought me to the grouping home that day and three times that of Dr. Byrne’s, it seemed..

With reluctance I stepped onto the bus, my eyes low, though I could still feel the looks of curiosity and judgment.

“You’re new.” Powers’ voice broke into my thoughts. “And while silver and black hair  is popular nowadays, it’s still attention grabbing and yours is a color different than the usual. So you can try and hide all you want. People are still going to notice you, Frosty.” She said as we continued down the long aisle to find available seating.

“What about my eyes?” I asked. “Is that a popular thing?”

“Oh, honey, those eyes-” She scoffed. “Those, are just one of a  kind, I’m afraid.”

I glanced to my left and finally saw a vacant seat near the middle of the bus. I barely caught my seating before the bus jerked forward and down the street.

Once again out into the world, excited and still very nervous of what I was about to experience at this place called school. Until then, I found my attention wondrously amorous of nature’s view; the sky was not at its brightest, but still seemed to cast a calmness over its lower surroundings. It was all so beautiful, I counted the moments until I was outside again.

“Yummy! A new girl!” when I felt a shift in my seat, alarm caused me to turn my attention to whomever it was, suddenly intruding upon my thoughts. “What’s your-whoa!”

The reaction he had as he looked into my eyes caught me off guard for a moment. I thought to look away temporarily until I remembered what Ms. Groves said to me about never my gaze.

“You are gorgeous.” He said to me. “What’s your name?” He asked.

“Wilhelmina.” I answered the boy. It never occurred to me until that moment that I had never spoken to the opposite s*x before now.

“Wilhelmina, fits you.” He said. “My name is Clyde.” He greeted in return. “Your eyes-are amazing.” He watched me prolonged, becoming nearer and nearer. “I’m sorry but you really pull that look off.” He said. “Just beautiful.”

His nearness makes me anxious as this is a gesture that I have never known anyone to do-not when it came towards me anyway; short of Dr. Byrne and Lisa Jones and any of the other doctors.

When the bus came to a stop, I quickly stood and squeezed past him. “Excuse me.” I counter, getting up from my seat when the bus reaches its destination.

“Oh, okay.” He stumbled, rising as well to let me pass.

“Thank you.” I rushed past him, bumping into Max Powers.

“Geeze, watch where you’re going, Frosty!” she grumbled.

“Hey, take it easy on the new girl, Powers.” The guy that was just sitting next to me defended.

“Get off her strap, Clyde.” Max Powers said as we exited the bus. I had no clue what strap this Clyde was apparently on. “She knows I don’t mean anything by it, right, Frosty?” She smirked.

Maybe it was just my imaginations running away with my hopes but it seemed that if I hadn’t known any better I would have thought I was breaking a barrier with Max Powers. I a gave a small smile, but not one too desperate as I certainly wasn’t in terms of gaining her friendship.

“She’s a heartless little girl. I’m accustomed.” I teased. I did not smile at first. When Max Powers and I looked at one another we smirked simultaneously before looking at this Clyde boy who seemed surprised.

“You finally found someone to match your sarcasm, Max.” He laughed. “Nice.” He said. “See you around, gorgeous.” He smiled, before walking off with the crowd.

I smiled at his response, though I did not completely understand what he meant by it. I then looked up at the large building that the other young people were filing into. Taking in my surroundings, I noticed crowds steady coming in and it made things all the more surreal.

Making my way to the school, I shiftily averted my gaze to my surroundings, suddenly off put by the many kids shoving around trying to get to their destinations. Yes, I had become partially use to being around other people; but not such a crowd of this magnitude. And the odd stares did very little to ease my anxiety.

Losing myself, I felt I must take a second to stop-pause and take a deep breath. It was as if my brain was overloading with the air that I should have been using to breathe. I thought I could handle this day, but as it turned out, I was much more ill-prepared than I previously thought.

I hadn’t realized that my footing was adrift before Max Powers steadied my drowsy state. “Whoa, you alright?”

Holding my unbalanced head in my hand, I attempt to slow my heartbeat and calm myself. “So…many people.”

“Wait, what are you saying?” Powers asked. I repeated my response but it only seemed to frustrate her further. “Look I don’t know what you’re saying! I don’t speak that language!”

Language? I shook my head trying to remember what I’d said before. “I apologize.”  I finally said in english this time. I realized then that my mind must have thought that I was speaking native English, but the rush of my panic attack rendered my head discombobulated. Yet again my tongue slipped into another language that my brain did not register. “I guess another side-effect to source amnesia.” I smirked.

“So you did lapse into a different language with Jess when you confronted her that day.” Max chuckled. “How many languages do you know, Frost? She asked, helping me keep myself steady. We stood for a moment instead heading for the school like the other kids.

“Not sure.” I answered. “So far every language I hear I understand. As long as I adjust my mind to it, I can speak it.”

“Wow.” She grinned. “That’s crazy. So what were you saying? Ya know-just now?” She asked me.

“That there were too many people.” 

“Hmph! Well I got news for you, Frost-” She said, ushering me in behind the crowd of kids. “It’s a school; there’s supposed to be a lot of people. Come on.”

Upon entering the school, Max Powers led me down the hallways past everyone else. I noticed as we continued our walk that she was quite well known throughout the halls by the students though she barely acknowledged this at all.

“Where are we going, if I may  ask?” I finally inquired around five minutes into our hallway travels. My question arrives too late as we arrive before a very large door.

“This is the guidance counselor’s office.” Max said. Before I could inquire further, she bursts through the door, my arm still in her hand. 

“Max Powers.” A thin middle aged woman greets with a warm smile when she recognizes who has entered her office. “Have we finally decided to take me up on my offer on a session?”

“Maybe some other time, Ms. Fink.” She said to the woman. 

I could tell by the look of disappointment on the woman’s face that this was often the reply that she would receive from Max when she offered such sessions.

“Besides, I’m pretty sure you’re expecting this one.” She said, finally letting my arm go.

Taken by this woman’s warm smile, I hadn’t realized that Max Powers was leaving until she spoke again.

“I’ll see you around, Frost.” She said before disappearing out of the door. 

Admittedly, I suddenly felt alone when she left; though, never more lonely than the day I had awaken to those coast guarding men and then at the hospital. However, I didn’t have much time to process this feeling, thankfully, before this Ms. Fink character approached and began with her assumptions.

“You must be Miss Frost. Come with me” The woman smiled. I simply nodded before she led me to the small office on the other side of the room. “Detective Rover told me you’d be coming today.” She said.

To be honest, I hadn’t heard much about this detective Rover since my drop off at the grouping home. In further honesty, I had almost thought that he really had forgotten about me-maybe taking my advice about forgetting about me to heart. Apparently, he hadn’t. I was grateful for this.

“To tell you the truth, I’m sure I would have recognized you without miss Powers telling me.” She chuckled, sitting at a desk as she gestured for me to sit on the receiving in.

“How so?” I asked curiously, obliging her offer.

“Detective Rover.” She simply answered. “He told me to look for the unusually beautiful girl, with the strange eyes.”

“Beautiful?” I asked. In all honesty, I had not thought he looked at me long enough to acknowledge such a thing. “He said that?” 

“Kinda weird for a detective to say about a minor, I thought, but hey; I’ve heard worse.” She chuckled. “Besides, he certainly wasn’t lying.”

I watched her type something on the computing contraption before pressing a button. Before long a whirring sound started from an odd looking machine before a piece of paper was spat out of it. 

I probably shouldn’t have been surprised, but I simply could not contain my amazement. Eyes wide, I just watched her pick the papers up and straightened them out before starting to hand them to me.

“Wh-what is that thing?” I asked.

She looked at me incredulously at first before her expression softened. “Yes, right. I was told of the amnesia. It’s a printer, dear. It prints data from the computer.” She said.

I took the paper, feeling the warmth of it. “Wow.”

“This is a printout of your class schedule.” She said, standing from her desk. “Now, I understand that-you’ve come to Seattle under….special circumstances.”

“If by special, you are referring to the fact that I was found floating unconscious and half clothed, wrapped in a tarp and chains, in the Mid-Atlantic, without memory-yes; I guess that could be considered special circumstances.” I said, never really considering it to be ‘special circumstances’.

“Oh-well-” she said, her expression seeming stunned. “I-um-I wasn’t made fully aware of the circumstances, but-I-well I-” she shook her head, mumbling something to the effect of ‘poor child’ before she continued. “So-I guess it’s safe to say that you do not remember attending school.”

    “I do not.” I answered. “However, I seem well versed in grammar and writing. Admittedly, quite a few things were taught to me whilst in the hospital. Though, I am told that math and science are subjects that most do not consider easy. Still, I don’t seem completely ignorant on those topics either.” Reminding myself of such a thing, caused more confusion on my part. “I feel intelligent, ma’am.” I shook my head. “Only, I lack the history to prove it.”

    Her response was that of sympathy. “Well it’s obvious that you had some sort of teaching in your past, whether you can remember it or not.” She pointed to the paper that she gave me. “I have given you some classes of the grade you are presently in-” I looked down at the paper, ignorant to what I was even staring at, when I saw her small finger pointing down the list of eight titles. “These are your classes; the number eleven on each class is the grade that you are currently in. Based on your performance, I will adjust your schedule to the correct grading.” She further explained. “Now am I also to understand that you are not clear of your exact age?” I answered with a simple no. “Well if you don’t mind my asking, how old do you think you are?”

    This question again,I think to myself. Dr. Byrne asked me this question; Lisa Jones asked me this question more than a few times and Ms. Groves. Max even asked me this question and now, this one wants to know what I think. Or does she?

    I feared hazarding a true guess of my age. After seeing the reaction to Max Powers, I knew that Ms. Fink’s reaction would more than likely be worse. After gathering the reactions of the few people that have asked me this question who have received my question, I’ve learned that while they ask what I think my true age is, there is always an expected answer; going too far off of the mark would only render me mentally unwell. In this case, I already knew this to be what they call a trick question.

“Sixteen? Maybe seventeen?” I lie. It is after all the safest answer. “Educated guess.” I simply smiled. 

“And, why do you think that you’re that age?” She asked.

Oh, she was going deep. I had no other answer for that than…”That is what the doctors told me.” I simply answered. “That is the age that I look, I suppose.”

Hearing her utter something of disbelief, I glanced at her to better read her reaction to my answer. As I suspected, she looked empathetic.

    I only continued to smile, knowing that her thoughts were just as the others who knew the truth about me. “It’s alright.” I said. “I am coming to terms with it.”

    She watched me for a moment before she sympathetically nodded. “Well, guess it’s time to show you around.”

    I stood and proceeded to follow her around the large schooling building and listened as she fed information. I was surprised of how huge the place really was; a few times we relocated outside just to get to another part of the school. Every now and then Ms. Fink would ask me questions from time to time, to check of my memory.

Needless to say, the school was quite impressive. Our last stop was a mathematics class before she led me back to the third class of the day. We stopped outside of the classroom door and she turned her full gaze on me.

    “Now, remember; because today is an even day you take even phases; 2, 4, 6, and 8. After your 6th you head to your 8th which is the last class.” I nodded in understanding. “Now because it took us two periods for the tour you are now at-”

    “6th.” I answered her awaiting question.

    “Good.” She smiled. “You ready?” 

Of course I wasn’t ready, but after her detailed tour and impeccable guidance I certainly couldn’t say otherwise. I knew that I would never be as prepared as I was at this moment. “Yes.” I lied, before she opened the door to the classroom. The teacher paused in the midst of his lecture and looked upon Ms. Fink and I.

    “Hello.” I said forcefully, as the word itself seemed lodged in my throat beforehand. I thought for a moment to smile but thought better of it in the end.

    “You may find your desk, Miss Frost.” Mr. Bradley says.

    I hesitantly look his way before I turned around and slowly walked down the row of desks. They were small, one seater tables that sat at pairs with medium gaps in between each two.

    “You can have that desk next to the window. It’s currently vacant.”

    “Thank you.” I returned with relief before I made way to the seat. After I sat, I glanced over to the front of the class, hoping that it would not stir any sort of reaction from anyone. Ms. Fink eyed me with a reassuring smile before continuing to her silent conversation with Mr. Bradley.

    As I settled myself, I could practically feel the heat of the other kids’ eyes on me. An uncomfortable feeling pounding throughout my chest as I glanced around every so often to see the different hue of eyes wondrously staring back at me in the same odd way that the girls at the group home  would when first glancing my way. Why did this affect me so? I did not know these kids and they did not know me. So their gaze should not intimidate me in the least. No, their eyes would not intimidate me at all. I looked at them. I looked at them all and smiled. I didn’t know what hue my gaze took this time but I did not care much, I just gave a small smile.

    It wasn’t a confident smile nor a bright smile but it was smile nonetheless and to my surprise, I was returned with more than a few from the males in the class. One of them even winked at me. I could not resist a giggle before I returned to my own devices.

    Shortly after the subtle conversation with the Mr. Bradley, Ms. Fink approached me. “If you need anything, you know where my office is.” After I nodded she reassured me again with her smile before leaving the classroom.

    “Alright, class! Back to what I was saying….” The teacher continued on in lesson. “Miss Frost.” He called, handing me a large book. “Page 283. Let me know if you need any assistance. And if you need a partner, I can pair you up with someone.” He said.

    “I think I can manage for now. Thank you.” I said.

    “If you’re sure.” He said. I nodded and thanked him before he turned around and continued with the lesson.

    I take the book sifting my gaze to my watchful surroundings one more time before I opened it and searched for the page I am ordered to be on.

    In reading through the pages, I found myself plagued of what feels like visions of a past that feels so familiar to me. From the early 1870’s to mid-80’s. And yet still I had no memory of anything concerning this current age. I flipped through the pages, reading well past that of which Mr. Bradley was teaching when that obnoxious bell suddenly rang. Snapping out of my thoughts of curiosity, my mind finally returned from thinking when I heard his voice again.

    “Alright, we’ll continue to chapter five on Tuesday.” Mr. Bradley announced over the hustle and bustle of kids hurrying to exit the class. I grabbed my books and started to fall in line behind the others. “Miss Frost.” I heard him say. I turned around and answered with a timid smile. “Should you need any sort of assistance, let me know.” I nodded in acknowledgment of his kind manner. I started to say thank you when he spoke again. “Though, it almost seems from observation of your need to read ahead of the class that you will be alright on your own. Or was that just you feigning to impress me?” he grinned.

    “No-sir.” I answered in reassurance. I had no reasoning behind impressing him, considering I had not the slightest clue of who he was, aside that of being my professor. “Actually, while this is my first class, I feel it may be one of my more favorable.” I admitted.

    “Well that’s good to know.” He smiled, pausing as if to be sizing me up for a moment, before he ran his hand down my arm. “Have a good lunch Miss Frost.”

    With his uncomfortable dismissal I headed off to the cafeteria where the remaining students went to sit and socialize. Receiving odd stares, I skip getting in the long line where the kids awaited nourishment; some exchanging their meals for currency while others pass on through the line for free.

    I walked on by the line, looking around for a place to be comfortable for the next half an hour, until I found a table by the large water speckled bay window.

    “Hey!” I looked up, noticing the attractive young girl glaring at me. I take a look around her to see a couple more young girls behind. It was obvious with the grousing smile on her face that she wasn’t happy to see me. “You’re in my seat.”

    I looked over each seating, noticing that there was not a name written upon them. “I was not aware that there was assigned seating.” I returned.

    “Well there is.” She said. “I assigned myself to that seat!”

    It was apparent by the familiar laughter of her friends, at least judging by what I constantly heard from Leslie, Jessica’s minion, when she’d mock me, that this girl was a bully. And after realizing the extent of terror that bullies caused, I did not have much patience for them.

    “That means get up!” I heard a girl suddenly say behind her.

    Subtly, I tip my head around her to see whom it was that spoke. I smirked. “Are you as well supposed to be of some sort of importance?” I comment.

    “What did you just say to me?”

    The tug on my arm, takes my attention away from the girl for a moment. “Come on.”

    Snatching me away from them, I turned to see Max Powers staring at me with an aggravated look. She then led me over to the far end of the cafeteria in the corner and sat down across from me. Displeased, I refused to look at her.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

    “Saving your neck.” Powers said..

    “I did not need your saving!” I responded, disgruntled of her self-righteous attitude. “I wasn’t done with her.” I said, not catching the snide remark before it escaped me.

    “Oh-so you get lucky with one broad and suddenly you’re beaming with courage and can take on the world?” she sardonically pointed out.

    “Maybe it bears repeating, but I don’t like bullies.” I hissed. “Courage has nothing to do with it.” I mumbled.

    “Yea, yea, I know. You’re the bully hero.” She said. “Where’s your next class?” She asked, catching me off guard.

“Algebra 2. Why do you ask?”

    “What teacher?”

    I take the crumpled up paper that holds my schedule out of my pocket and skim down the list. “A Mrs. Fletcher.”

    “Guess I’ll see you then.” She said to me as she stands from her seat.

    “Where are you going?” I asked, starting to begrudgingly feel that pang of loneliness that I felt the first time Max Powers left me to the office counselor earlier.

    “Class.” She said and turned around. “Later, Frosty.”

    Fortunately, after the incident at lunch, the remaining time of the school day seemed to be go by uneventfully. Oh, well with the exception of the odd and continuously curious stares; but then that was starting to become a norm for me.

Unfortunately, however, I did find that the disgruntled girl I had a run in with during lunch time, whose name I now know to be Trisha Morrison, shared a class in mathematics with me.

While she still seemed touchy about our confrontation, the only sign of such feelings were merely portrayed through her menacing look.

    Max Powers was present as well. However, I held the inclination that she was not like I and the other students. It seemed that she was more so an aid to the teacher of the class. So we barely spoke. Still, it was a relief that a familiar face was near.

    As predicted, I held no interest whatsoever in this math class and was flooded with relief to hear the bell ring for it to be over. I rushed out of the door, leading to the nearest exit, gratified to be out into the fresh air. I closed my eyes and inhaled the fresh scent of the whistling trees. It was still hazy for a two o’clock day, but as far as my attentions were concerned, it was a delightful escape from the claustrophobia of school.

“Frost! Watch out!” I heard Max Powers say in the distance. My senses suddenly heightened when I hear the oncoming whoosh of an object. Before I can think, reflexes take over and my hand is outreached, now holding that of an odd shaped thing in my hand. When I turned to see what it was that I caught, I noticed how weird the thing looked.

    “Whoa!” I turned around to see Max Powers staring at me wide eyed. “Nice catch, Frosty!”

    “Did you throw this at me?” I asked.

    “No. Why would I even have a football?” Max countered. “I hate that sport.”

    I looked at the brown oblong thing that lay in my hand. “Football?” Distinctly, I looked up to see a tall masculine-like youth approaching me.

    “Nice catch.” He smirked, taking the ball from my hand. “Gotta say, wasn’t expecting a pretty girl like you to have such-cat like reflexes.”

    “Would you have rather it hit me?” I simply asked.

He watched me with almost marble like, green eyes specked in blue; odd. “Didn’t say that.”

    “Watch where you and your buffoons are throwing next time.” Max hisses at him in more anger than should probably be necessary.

    He switches his gaze to her, granting an odd stare as if he never noticed her before that moment, as a grin took to his flawless features. “As you wish, your majesty.” He said with a smile.

    Max muttered some obscenities before she took my arm, leading me to the bus. “Who is that boy?” I asked.

    “Don’t tell me you’re smitten with Nixon Grey.” Max said. “He’s the middle eldest of Killian Grey’s boys.”

    “Killian Grey?” Curious. “Dr. Killian Grey” I asked.” 

She looked at me. “Take it you’ve met him.”

“He was one of the ones that was there when I first came too.” I said, remembering that he spoke another language to me that first day of my arrival when I lost consciousness in the hallway.

“Real charmer, I hear.” She said, breaking me out of my reverie of thoughts.

“He seems to be.” I said. “Though, by the reaction you have toward his son, I’d say the characteristic has not been passed down.”

Max rolled her eyes. “You could say that.” She said.

“So where, exactly were the other brothers?” I looked out of the window, realizing that the one called Nixon is watching the bus from the outside. It was unsettling to say the least. 

Even in our getting off on the wrong foot I had to begrudgingly admit that he was an attractive one; with his smooth porcelain gold like skin and oddly mesmerizing eyes. His short hair was an almost dark grey but still somehow youthful-like and curly.

    Max shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t even think they were at school today. Sometimes they don’t come to school. They usually show up at the end of the school day, for football practice, though. Thorne and Roman are probably on the field already.”

    “Hm-oh.” I returned. I watched Max Powers, remembering how aggressive she was toward this Nixon character. “You are particularly hostile towards him.” I pointed out. “Has he offended you?” I asked.

    She gave me an unreadable look before shrugging and looking away. “I’m just not too fond of him, I guess. None of them really.”

    My gaze is outside of the window, so as to remember the route from school to home, in case I decide to try my hand at walking to school the next time. Still, my attention is not slacked on Max.

“Why?” I asked, my eyes still surveying the streets and their signs as I listened to her.

    My peripheral sees her staring at me with annoyance. “Do I need a particular reason?” she said.

    Nearly home, I looked at her finally. “Well, I think that everyone should have a sound reason as to why they dislike another.” Though, rethinking on the run-ins I’d had lately and the story that Max Powers told me about her experience with bullies, I feared I must think twice of my reasoning.

    Max cut her eyes. “Well, I assure you that that’s not the case all the time.”

    “Still-” I countered.  “You don’t strike me the type that simply dislikes someone.”

    Again, she turned to me in irritation. “Wha-are you a pig or something?”

    “Pig?” the term was random. “I assure you I am not a pig.”

    She shook her head, facing forward as she was before. “Forget it Frost.”