TOO MANY QUESTIONS.
2207 Words
~LUCIEN~
I lift my head from the documents I'm looking through when I hear the door to my office open, then sigh when I see who it is.
"How are you Lucy?" mother asks and takes a seat in front of me. I can't believe we are back to that name. It took so much effort to get her and my brothers to stop calling me that.
But It would be rude to keep my head in my work whilst she is here, so I close the document and put the computer to sleep, knowing fully well that this is going to be longer than I would like it to be.
"I'm okay," I reply with a shrug. It's been years and she still looks the same; as beautiful as ever.
"don't try to fool me," she says with a shake of her head and leans over the desk separating us, and holds my hand in her soft ones.
It's been two days since I got back from Earth and as much as I would love to go back, I still have so many things to do here.
"I'm really okay, mother." I force a smile. A smile that is the exact opposite of what I feel. My beast is edgy, making me edgy.
She huffs in disbelief and raises a perfectly shaped brow at me.
"What is it Lucien?" she asks. She never calls me by my name unless she's either worried or very serious.
"I really am okay." I lie. The same lie I have been telling myself for as long as I can remember. But mother being who she is; clever and keen, sees right through me. She sees the pain I try to ignore. The one that makes me lock myself in a cage of solitude.
Mother sighs and looks at me as if I'm a broken boy. Her broken boy. And it really doesn't bother me because I am not as put together as I let myself appear to be.
Everything in my life seems to be a mess.
My brothers have their lives together and perfect. Micca has Adara and his soon to be born child. After everything that happened, Father and mother handed over their crowns to Micca and Adara, who have been ruling Zhanton since. And Dominique, he has Inanna and his son Eli.
And now he and his mate rule Sol, they have done a wonderful job in ruling the sylv'r faes all these years.
What more could they possibly ask for?
"Lucien!"
Mom's voice pulls me from my thoughts and I look into her concerned eyes with a sigh.
"you didn't hear anything I just said did you?" she asks with a frown. There is really no need for me to say anything because we both know that she is speaking the truth.
"I am going to ask you for the last time, Lucien. And Goddess have mercy on you if you tell me that it's nothing or you lie to me," she says with all seriousness, her brows creased and her mood shifts just slightly to a more serious one, but the concern is still evident there.
"What is wrong with you?" she asks again with just a slight growl to her voice.
Mother never really gets like this. Too serious or lets her beast show, but when she does, She's as dangerous as they come. And there is no need to lie to her, heck you'd be afraid to lie to her, so I don't.
"I'm not entirely sure," I say in a low voice and she looks at me worriedly.
"You are not much of a talker but this is getting too much. I have silently watched you, hoping that you can deal with this on your own, but it doesn't look like that is happening anytime soon," she says. I really didn't think that it bothered them that much; me being quiet.
But of course it will, they're my family. And that is the one thing my people adore and hold dear the most.
"I've been looking for someone," I say with a sigh.
"who?" mom asks with a soft voice.
I thought that I wasn't ready for them. Goddess knows how much I have lied to myself, but it wasn't enough. I have been indecisive since Umma said to me what she did. One part of me desired so desperately for what is mine, whiles the other wants nothing more than to be in solitude for just a little while longer.
I know that I am an introvert, whilst most of my kind craves to be in a group, to go where the crowd is, those like me, just long to be left alone but not to be lonely.
"Who is it, Lucien, who are you looking for?" mother asks.
I have never said the words out loud because I know how real it will be after they leave my lips. It will no longer be a thought in my head that I try to forget sometimes, it will be my reality.
"My mate," I whisper with battered breathe. And I feel it. I feel how those words settle in my very soul and resound in my body.
It's a dreadful feeling.
How my chest hurts and my very soul vibrate in me.
yes, it's dreadful, it's absolutely horrifying, this feeling. But Goddess knows how relieving it also is, how liberating and freeing it is to say the words out loud.
The yearning and need and want is all very present, but I also feel so much freedom.
"your mate?" mother whispers in both shock and amazement with her eyes so wide.
"yes, mother. I'm looking for my mate" I whisper.
Although that male is still in my head, and he might be who I'm looking for I don't know yet if he is.
She says nothing, only gazes at me with a thoughtful look on her face.
"Do you want to talk about it?" she asks.
"no mother." I sigh.
"I mean it's good that you're finally looking for her, you've been so lonely that it was hard not to notice it," she says making me lightly chuckle, relieving the tightness in my chest.
"It is that obvious isn't it?" I ask with a smile. Mother may be mischievous and very sly sometimes, but she loves us.
as humans say nowadays, she's cool.
"Oh very so. You rarely talk, you barely smile, you are in your head most of the time. I can go on and on about what you've been like these past few years." she says with a chuckle whilst counting on her right hand.
"It's that bad huh?" I chuckle lightly and she returns it with a smile.
she gets up from the chair in front of me and walks to the open window with her hand in front of her and grace like no other, a true Queen. Even though Adara holds her position now, she still is a queen.
Talking to her like this, like when I was still a pup, I really missed it. It's awfully comforting.
" but that's not all, is it?" she asks as she turns to me from the window. The sunlight creating shadows around her.
"I know that is not all that has been bothering you, Lucy."
And we are back to the name-calling.
" so tell me, what else is bothering you. You look too dead for your mate to only be the reason," she says with a smile.
"that's really all there is to tell. There is no need to lie or hide any other thing." I reply and lean back into my chair. I had this room redecorated into an office after Micca's coronation and it became obvious that I would have to work with him as his second in command.
I really don't mind doing all the paperwork since we all know that it's one of the things Micca hates. So far he's doing an excellent job as King, as we knew he would.
"Are you sure?" mother asks.
"Absolutely," I reply with a nod making her hum and look at me with a raised brow.
"so where have you been running off to? she asks and I answer her question with a confused frown. Goddess knows I have not been running off anywhere. I never would run. It's just not in my genes.
' nowhere." I say, "I haven't been running off to anywhere."
She shakes her head and says, "okay. Let me rephrase that. Where have you been going to all those hours I have not been seeing you?"
I open my mouth to reply to her question only to be stopped by her raising her hand.
"don't tell me nowhere. You have been going somewhere. I know it. It's not just ones or twice. But you can go off the radar for nearly ten hours a day without telling anyone." she says.
"oh, that," I whisper.
"This feels like an interrogation," I say.
"because it is. You can't just go missing regularly and come back without saying a word, and not expect me to not get worried," she says with disbelief. "It's nice that you finally see that you need your mate, but that does not mean you can just disappear and make me worry like that..."
"Earth," I say, interrupting her. I really don't mean to make them worry so much but I just need to be alone.
"what did you say?" she asks with surprise.
"I have been going to earth." I elaborate.
" wow," she whispers and moves from the window and takes back the seat in front of me, a smile on her lips and her eyes shining with interest.
" thats just Woah," she says with a smile and clear awe.
"how long?" she asks. And like always, I answer her with the truth.
"Ten years."
my reply only makes her eyes grow wider and the interest in them only spikes.
"Why are you asking so many questions?" I ask and push myself off my seat and take a seat by the windows; the same spot she just left. I'm okay telling mother all these. She won't even let me keep it to myself even if I wanted to, now that she knows some, she wants to know everything.
Everything is so bright; the pink and blue sky and the sun. The clouds are beautiful and the smell of home is far different from the smell of Earth, but it's the latter that I desperately yearn for right now.
"Is it bad for a mother to want to know what is going on in her son's life?" mother replies to my question with one of her own as I turn around to look at her.
"no, it's not," I reply with a smile.
"Then answer these last two questions of mine, then I'll be out of your hair," she says and I can't restrain the urge to raise a disbelieving brow at her.
she and I know very well that these will not be the last questions she asks me. maybe it will be all she asks now, but there sure as hell are a lot more to come later.
"Okay, ask away," I say and sit at the edge of the window with my arms folded on my chest waiting for her so-called last two questions.
"what is there for you on earth?" she asks.
"a lot," I say, not giving too much away. I know how she can be once I mention that my mate may be on earth, that my mate may be a human. She will just ask too many questions. I am not sure that I'm ready to answer.
"now that is just too vague." she says with a smirk that soon turns to a frown, "is your mate on earth? is she a human?" she asks the question out of the blue, and as much as I said that I don't care telling her things, this is not one of the things I want to disclose right now.
So I try as much as possible to hide the slight panic in me at her nearly uncovering that and ask with a smirk.
"Is that your last question?"
I don't know how she will react to the knowledge that there is a high chance of my mate being human. There has never been a mating between humans and us, so I am not sure how she will react. How anyone will react.
she hums and looks at me with those intense eyes of hers, as if digging up the answer with only her eyes.
"do you ever want to stay there, on earth?" she asks.
I have never really thought of that. Whether I want to stay on earth or not is something I have not given much thought to.
Yes, I love that world, but I'm not sure if I will stay there if given the chance to. Besides, Dominique now rules Sole with Inanna so I can't just abandon Micca and leave him to do everything alone.
"I'm not sure, mother," I whisper with my eyes on the ring on my finger.
- Writer
