[The Broken Series 1] The Broken Wolf

Chapter 3

My brother’s voice rings through my head as my heart falls to the pit of my stomach. My mate?

“How… how does he know he’s my mate?” I ask meekly. “I haven’t met anyone but Alpha Blake and Future Alpha Chris. One of them is mated, and the other, well, he didn’t say anything when we met.”

“It’s not either of them, it’s Seth. He could smell you on Dad. He said you hugged him just before you came here, and I guess your scent lingered.”

“It could be anyone that Dad was near. It’s not me. It CAN’T be me.”

“Molly. It’s you. Come on, they’re all waiting.”

“All? How many mates do I have?”

“It’s just one, kiddo. We’ve got to get up there. You can’t keep them waiting.”

“No, Robbie. No. I’m not going up there just to be rejected and hurt,” I tell him. This isn’t happening. It has to be a mistake. I can’t have a mate.

“Molly, it’s ok,” Oliver tells me as he sees my panic and recognizes that my brother does not have control of this situation. “You’ve always assumed you have no mate or that they’ll reject you if you do. Maybe he won’t. Maybe he’ll see you for the amazing wolf you are.”

He’s trying. They both are. Trying to convince me that it’s going to be ok, but you can see in their eyes they both know it won’t be—especially my brother. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a look like this on his face before. He’s so worried about me. My mate must be terrible for him to be so concerned.

I can barely breathe. It feels like the walls are closing in on me, and my chest hurts with each breath. My fears bubble to the surface, and I can’t contain them. I slowly slip out of my shoes without either of them noticing. There’s a back door out of here right behind them. They’re both faster than me- my brother has the Alpha gene, making him far superior physically to me. There’s only one way I’ll make it past them, so I do what I have to, and I cry.

My brother’s face softens, and he walks across the room, enveloping me in a huge hug. It’s a move I wasn’t expecting, making it even harder to remove myself from the kitchen. In all honesty, his hug feels good. I feel so safe when I’m with Robbie. Still, I remember he’s trying to take me to meet my dad, mate, and whoever else is there. I don’t want to be rejected and feel that pain. These thoughts make me cry even harder. Oliver moves closer, so I decide to make my final move to get out of here.

“Robbie, I need to sit down,” I tell him, and my ever-doting brother does just what I expected this time and immediately releases me and turns to grab the chair that Oliver had just vacated. I make my move and run to the door. My hand reaches the knob, and the goddess must be with me because it’s unlocked.

I take off running to the garden. To my surprise, the smell of my brother gets fainter with each step. I decide to chance a look over my shoulder to see both men standing outside the back kitchen door. Oliver’s arm is across my brother’s chest.

“Just let her go, Robert. Give her a few minutes,” Oliver tells him.

I run a bit further, but since I know they’re not following me, I finally stop and walk. I’m sure I’ve destroyed all the work I did to look presentable just a few hours ago as I walk barefoot through my favorite place. I can’t be bothered to care right now, though.

This was not the plan. This is not the life that I’m supposed to have. I know my family loves me, but it’s obvious at every turn I’m not really theirs. My family always said they loved me so much they couldn’t stand the thought of me leaving when I was small, but who would kick a homeless six-year-old out? I was found under a tree, alone- tiny, with no memory of who I was or where I came from. Was I lost? Or abandoned? Did I have a family that loved and missed me? Or did they leave me in the woods, hoping they’d never have to see me again?

I’d accepted all these possibilities before, but as I got older, it became obvious I wasn’t like all the other pups. It became harder and harder to feel like I belonged. I couldn’t play with the kids as I got older because I couldn’t physically keep up with them. That’s what made me love Oliver so much.

When the other kids wanted to play tag and throw balls, he’d be there to go on an adventure with me. The first time we made it back to the falls alone was amazing! My dad had taken me once shortly after he found me, but they looked much more amazing when we found them on our own. We got into so much trouble when we got back. I remember Oliver’s mom apologizing repeatedly to my dad. He was angry we’d gone so far without her knowledge. The entire time my dad explained my punishment, my mom smirked and kept telling him we were fine and to calm down.

As I got older, I realized that my dad was always worried about me more than anyone else because of my broken wolf. Eventually, he forbade me to go into the woods without a pack warrior nearby- even if I was with Oliver. A few years ago, Robbie had too much to drink and let it slip that Dad was worried someone would kidnap me to use it against him because I wouldn’t be able to get away myself. I was so angry when he first told me, but I quickly realized he was right to be concerned. If another pack did kidnap me, I’d never be able to escape on my own. I’m basically useless and a huge liability.

Useless and a liability to my own pack and now, to the mate I never thought I’d have. There’s no reason anyone would not reject me, short of needing a chef, but I don’t think that’s enough to keep around a broken wolf. I don’t know how I'd ever be able to help a mate. And if my mate is in Lunar Falls now for the Alpha ceremony, he’s likely an Alpha himself. While most she-wolves would be thrilled, this is the worst possible scenario for me.

I stop walking as I reach the back of my garden. This truly is my absolute favorite place in the pack territory. It’s so peaceful here, and few people ever bother to come this far back. It’s where I spend so much time doing what I can to help take care of my pack in my own way. I know it’s not much, but it’s at least something.

The sun is shining brightly now and making it hot, so I climb under the leaning trellis where the squash grow and hide in the shade. I know that eventually someone will be out here to drag me inside, but I decide to stay put until that happens.

I hide in the garden for what seems like hours, though I don’t think it’s been that long. I am surprised I’ve been able to stay here alone for so long, but I’m not upset about it either. I peek out from my hiding spot like a small child and see the window to my Father’s study. A man I don’t recognize is staring outside.

For just a moment, I wonder if that’s my mate. He’s attractive, from what I can tell. He has longer dark hair above his shoulders and looks pretty muscular. He’s holding a glass with something brown in it- probably some expensive bourbon that my dad hopes will help him overlook my behavior. Maybe he has enough bourbon to have him overlook my brokenness. Doubtful, as I’m not just a broken wolf, but I’m now a filthy wolf wearing no shoes and hiding in actual plants.

I smell the familiar scent of my best friend as he approaches and climbs under the trellis with me. The look he’s giving me tells me he knows the situation isn’t great. Oliver knows me so well. He knows that I’m not able to articulate my feelings at the moment, so he doesn’t say a word. He just puts his arms around me and holds me, and I let go of tears I didn’t even realize I’d been holding.

I cry for the little girl who didn’t get a wolf, and for all the times another kid made me feel less than. I cry for all the nights I spent wondering why I was left by a tree, and I cry for all the memories that I don’t have from before then. I cry for the kid who grew up not meeting anyone's expectations, and for all the times I know I disappointed my parents. They tried so hard to hide it, but I knew. But most of all, I cry for the fear of having to face a mate that I never dreamed I’d have and the pain of the rejection that I’ll have to endure.

“He’s not going to reject you,” Oliver tells me. I know he truly thinks that, but there’s no chance someone would want me.

“I’m going to go up there, but I need to change clothes first,” I tell him. He looks at me and nods but doesn’t say a word about how I look an absolute mess.

I mind link my dad. I’m going to change and make myself presentable, and then I’ll be there. I’m sorry. I know I’ve embarrassed him.

“Okay, Molly, I’ll let him know. He’s a good man. You’re going to be alright,” he tells me. I find a small amount of comfort from the man who would do anything to protect me telling me it will all be fine.