To Love and Avenge

Chapter 32

Time flies so fast that today has finally come, the day that I despised the most.

To which the freedom that I’ve valued so much has now come to an end.

This is what I referred to as my death.

I was never once afraid of death in a literal way. And death doesn’t probably like me either. For it didn't take me that day. The day when I wished that I too would vanish.

In the past, I always wanted death to take me too just like what it did to mom until I realize my purpose in life.

Yet this kind of life that I would be soon facing is no different from that of death.

Taking me away from what I called life.

I was wondering how two could be happy in such a day when in fact you will be tied toward each other and forever be doomed.

Most of the women said that this part of their lives was the most happiest and fulfilling other than giving birth to a child. But why can’t I feel the same way as they do, even a half of it?

I mean, I'm not saying that I wouldn’t get married and have children in the future, but the timing isn’t right. And to be married to Dauis? I doubt it, given that I haven't fulfilled what my heart desired.

I will be in a few hours stuck in a loveless marriage to the person I hated the most.

But on the other hand, I come to think of it that it’ll be to my advantage.

Sitting here while they do my hair and make-up. I can’t help but ponder on my plans.

I'm just glad that Dauis had agreed to my conditions, one of those is not to interfere with my personal private life unless of course if it has something to do with the both of us.

As time passed by, the longer I stayed here the more flustered I became.

‘Why is that?’ I asked myself.

Dad, later on, came to me and asked if everything was fine. I glance in his direction while forcing a smile on my face. I was in a gloomy state, but with dad around, I have to act up.

He always looks so handsome and proud even at his age. With a strong and intimidating personality.

He smiled at me lovingly in response. Not seeing through behind that smile was my dejected heart.

He sat next to me and held my hands to his, Imprisoning them.

He stayed like that for a while, while glancing at my hands periodically and into my eyes for a couple of minutes.

I find it cute and funny seeing this side of my dad. Funny it is because I always find dad as strict and serious. I even sometimes refer to him as the grumpy old man.

But somehow, he sometimes acted dumb and clingy. And by looking at his current state wants me to burst into laughter. It doesn’t fit his personality.

“Say it, dad.” I chuckle and acted childishly giggling at him.

“Do you know how beautiful you are?” he randomly asked. As he stares into my eyes.

“Of course dad, you never fail to tell and made me feel that way.” I know of course. I am just wondering about this sudden drama.

“That is because you always are. And with that being said, I found you this.“ he said as he withdraw his hand from mine and grab something from inside his chest pocket, revealing a beautifully crafted diamond necklace.

“Beautiful.” I gasped at the sight. I know, I may sound overly overwhelmed, but I know very well the story behind that necklace when dad customized it himself for mom. With tearful eyes, I clasp my hands together and brought them to my lips in anticipation.

Judging at its look, it is very simple and minimally made but I wouldn't exchange this for any other luxurious and pricey items.

Its story was way more than it can tell.

“This will look beautiful on you,” he said in a cracky voice as he reach over to put it on me.

“There,” he looks at me admiringly.

I turn to look at my reflection in the mirror. Tracing the necklace on my neck, admiring how it looks so perfect to me.

Unable to speak a word, I swallowed hard the lump that forms in my throat to prevent crying.

“My daughter, you will always be my little Ale.”

“Of course dad, and no matter what, you will always and forever be my grumpy old man.” he laughed at it with tearful eyes.

“Grumpy old daddy?” He asked pondering while his eyes shimmer in tears.

“Am I?” He continued to ask raising his brows to me. To others, it would be intimidating but to me, to us, it was nothing that we can take seriously.

“Yes, you always are.” shaking while suppressing my laughter at his reaction.

“You know what, I always dreamed of this day, to see you walk in the aisle. With me beside you and to hand you to your man. I always wanted to see you dressed in white just like your mom, and just as any other woman does. I never thought that– that day would be today.”

He paused for a moment. The movement of his adam’s apple shows that he struggles to speak and control his building emotions. And he is starting to be emotional. He is always been reserved and the last time I saw him shed tears was when death took mom from us.

Seeing him in this state is killing me, yet I still forced a smile.

“I’m just happy that I have fulfilled my promise to her.”

I know what he meant because I once heard him make a promise at my mom’s grieve that he and always take care of me until his last breath. I was at that time dealing with my struggles so I rejected them all and shut my door close from them. I became distant and indifferent without considering theirs too.

But that was all already in the past. I realized now that it isn’t always about me.

So setting it aside for the meantime was my best move.

“So now that you would finally see me dressed in white, your wished has finally come true–”

“Yeah, since that day that you all came into our lives, it was already a fulfillment every parent would cherish. You all always do,” he said as his tears flowed freely. Those were tears of happiness. I wiped his tears away and hug him as tight as I could.

Through that, I wanted him to know how grateful I am for them around.

He pulled away and held my face. Pulling me and planting a kiss on my forehead.

He still cried as he said.

“My little one had grown up so fast. But you will forever be my daddy's little girl.”

I look at him adoringly when Daven and Allen came in side by side and saw us in this state.

They both came and joined the group hug and later inform us that it was almost time.

Daven held me and left a few old good words for me as if I am going somewhere very far when in fact I will only be getting married.

Allen never says a word.

I know they are happy for me, happy because of the idea that I will marry the love of my life.

What they didn’t know was the big fat lie behind it all.

If I can only say that I wasn’t happy. That if I could still back out, but no, I have to deal with this. If I will do it, it’ll only confuse everyone. And dad would suffer the most.

What they did was quite touchy.

Later on, Daven took the initiative to stop the drama, or else I will be late for my own special event. Special, that is because that at least was what they thought.

Wiping our tears away, we composed ourselves. They all move out first as I still need to change into my dress, carefully putting everything on.

After finishing all those, the butler came in and ask if I am ready. I nodded and so dad, Daven, and Allen, came back in to fitch me. Carefully assisting and leading me to the limo.

Before I get in, they once again kiss and hugged me. At this point. I heave a sigh releasing the weight in my heart.

Inside the car, every minute was like getting longer and longer, and the heavier the weight in my heart became. I close my eyes…

‘Can I run back and just leave everything alone, and live a life like I always wanted to?’ I asked myself.

No, I can't, I can’t be selfish and be irrational at this moment of my life, there were a lot of at stake.’ i reasoned out.

Until I realize that the limo has stopped moving. I look outside only to see that we have arrived. I sigh again but this time, I feel nervous.

Shiela, my Maid of honor knock on me and smiled brightly behind that glass window.

I roll it down to meet her.

“Are you ready? We are about to start.” She asks. I wish I could smile genuinely at this state of my life.

“I– Uh, C-can you give me, Uhm some time?” I stammered.

“I- yeah, of course, anything wrong?” she worriedly asked.

“Oh, there’s nothing, I just that– I- I feel nervous, that is,” I responded, justifying my feeling. ‘And I’m having second thoughts’ I continued silently.