To Love and Avenge

Chapter 86

“Don't be sad. you know, life is too short to be sad.” she continue while she squat herself in front of me so she was at my eye level.

I continued to stare back at her black pleading eyes which were also reddened from tears. Staring at it, I mirrored my sullen self inside it. I even saw my soulless eyes inside hers.

How pathetic she can be, she was asking me to slowly let it go, but her eyes were telling me otherwise.

I stayed still and wait for her to speak further. The frail me wanted to listen to her words despite the pain I am feeling.

I missed mom, and how the way she spoke gently to me.

After their death, I oftentimes snuck out of the house during nighttime to stay out in my mom’s tomb when I was with my brother. I was supposed to have a younger sister. She was pregnant at that time before she was mercilessly shot dead.

However, they were all gone and so is my brother. I was left with no one except my father’s half-brother’s family.

Uncle has taken over our business as he has automatically become my only legal guardian. Other than him, I knew no one related to me.

At that time, even at a young age, I wanted to condemn heaven for tormenting me this way. Henceforth, I vowed to avenge my family whatever it takes. this pain was what kept me alive.

But Aunt was holding me back.

“We are all but passersby in this world, and we pay the consequences based on our actions."

"Why, did my mom hurt them? She didn't, but look at what they've done. And now, my brother."

"I knew how you feel, I understand, okay? That’s why I am here and would never leave you. I will guide you through.”

"How can you say you understand me, Aunt? you've never experienced such tragic life as mine."

"Yeah, I may not, but I can feel you."

“But…”

“No more buts, I can get it that you wanted to get even, but look at your brother. Somehow, sometimes, we must leave our life according to God’s plan and must not do evil deeds. This way we can live a happy and harmonious life.”

“How can I? I lost my whole family, leaving me nothing. Happy?” I said shaking my head furiously while breaking into tears once more.

“You’re wrong, we are your family, and of course, you can choose to be happy.”

I looked away as I slowly took a step to my bed. I was looking around from my once lively room. It felt odd and somehow realized that the room have long been drenched with sorrow.

Aunt stood up and followed me behind. She sat quietly as she stared at my now swollen eyes due to heavy crying.

I smiled bitterly while my tears continued to find their way down. I weep silently.

Seeing me trying to hold back the pain, she reached out to rub my small back as she gently wipe my tears away.

“There’s no wrong in crying, you can cry. Scream if you want to lessen the burden.” she later said and kissed the top of my head consolingly.

“Will I be better one day?” I curiously asked. Feeling the pain continuously drowned me, like I was stabbed multiple times now.

“Of course, you will.”

“How?” the 12 years old me, asked full of innocence, I believed Aunt with her words. I am in hope that one day, it’ll all go away.

She sighed deeply before pulling me near her.

“Here’s what you need to do. I want you to cry all your pain out one last time now before we leave. However, always remember to hold my hand even how many wails you do. This is to let you know that no matter what, I am here to hold you.”

“Hmm…” I nod. Hearing her, my emotions stirred up once again, and started to howl.

True to her words, the louder the cries I made the tighter her hands holds mine. The last thing I remember was when she took me into her embrace and kissed my tears dry, this time I got the liberty to see her eyes.

She was secretly crying with me. It was so painful to look at that by instinct, I get up and hugged her back and saw Anton standing by the door. He was silently watching us from there and never dare interrupt us.

I smile and wave him to come near, thus, he walked slowly and I extended my arms to reach him for a hug.

He hugged me us,

“From now on, I can be your brother and will protect you in the future,” He said.

Amused at his innocence, I nod at him and closed my eyes. Savoring the warmth of a newfound family.

However, all things were bound to end. I could only sigh at the memory.

Aunt and Anton were nowhere to be found. They both left me to Uncle the time she learned about our business.

“Am I not worth loving? Am I bound to be left alone? What have I done to deserve such a tormenting life?” I asked, lamenting my life’s misfortunes