I sort of slept, but it was not a deep sleep sleep, it's bitter and unsatisfying. And the rest of the time I lay restless on the sofa, shivering and snuffling—feeling profoundly wretched and knowing I deserved to.
To say it had been an inauspicious start to the new year was the understatement of the century. But I guess that was my fault too. You couldn’t turn a symbol into something real just by wanting to. God, I was a f*****g i***t. A f*****g f*****g i***t.
What was left of the night dribbled into a murky grey morning. Clearly it was going to be a long, grim day. Except then came a hammering on the front door, startling me out of my duvet. Jessi rarely bothered to carry her keys, much preferring to be let into her own house like it was the 1950s and I was her wife or something. Did t
