Well. Everything was awful again. I’d slept with another person’s person, which made me pretty much scum, or rather contributed a new layer of scum to the scuminess I’d already accumulated by attempting to snog my best friend. On top of which, the first man I’d ever properly loved had told me to my face that—
Actually, I didn’t even want to think about it. The memory had claws. The part of me that wasn’t reduced to bloody mush could vaguely recognise that Matthew’s words probably hadn’t been a real reflection of his feelings.
But the part of me that wasn’t reduced to bloody mush was very small. And also it didn’t f*****g matter. He’d said those things to me. f****d my arse, my head, and my heart in the same damn fire escape. While catastrophically determined to marry someone else.
I wa
